Everyone likes getting compliments, especially during this festive season where you will be getting together with friends and family. However, the art of effectively giving a compliment doesn’t always come naturally.
When giving compliments try to be genuine and your kindness can go a long way. Here are a number of tips that can help you give sincere compliments this season.
Connect on many levels
The nature of a good compliment makes a person feel seen or heard. It has less to do about complimenting their appearance and more about communicating that you see them. Speak to the person’s authentic self, not some false self they project to fit in. Having your authentic self-recognized and encouraged feels genuinely good.
General compliments may come across as inauthentic. Instead, focus your compliment on something specific. Don’t just say ‘nice outfit’ say ‘what a gorgeous arrangement; I love how you created so much texture with one colour of outfit. This way, the compliment is more directed and personal.
Compliments that are relevant are the most sincere. Giving random compliments that can be easily transferred, such as ‘you’ve got great hair,’ will come across as superficial unless there is something really outstanding about the particular observation.
A compliment must be authentic, delivered in a meaningful tone of voice, using a genuine smile, and seem and feel believable.
Find out the motivation of the other person
People loved to be complimented on their passions. Knowing a little bit about your recipient will go a long way in making a compliment truly meaningful.
Too many people give compliments on what they feel is important, but if you want to give a sincere one, first ask the recipient why they do what they do. Their answer will tell you what they find meaningful.
Praise personal qualities
There is a high chance of getting people feel appreciated if you praise their personal qualities, rather than acquired talents. Qualities like kindness, attention to detail, and stamina are more enduring than skills that are learned, like public speaking or project management.
Instead of complimenting someone on her skill at networking, highlight their friendliness, generosity, or warmth.