The fear of intimacy is quite common and understandably so; but the inability to overcome that fear may lead to the destruction of your relationships. There is a need to first recognize the subtle fear-of-intimacy signs, then address the problem.
You Get Angry A Lot
There are many types of anger, and it will be good if you can figure out the type you’re expressing. A deep, subconscious fear of intimacy can rear its ugly head, showing up in response to a relationship that is becoming uncomfortably close, and one way this fear can manifest is via anger.
Being constantly angry indicates immaturity and inadvertently, a difficulty to form intimate relationships. Everyone gets angry sometimes, but if you find feelings of anger coming up frequently, a fear of intimacy may be lurking underneath.
Communicating your feelings to your partner can help. Foster vigorous, frequent, honest, and open communication and you will gradually get rid of the issue.
You’re Scared Of Imperfection
Everyone needs love and that requires trust, and the ability to risk rejection. People in relationships are constantly asking themselves, in one way or another, if they can trust the other person. Can they show their flaws, or risk being embarrassed?
The way to get ahead of this fear is to take measured risks. Being loved for who you really are is an incredible gift, but you have to show your partner the real you, if it’s ever going to happen.
Nobody’s perfect. No matter who you are, or what you might have done in the past, coming clean about it will free you up, allowing emotional intimacy to take the place of fear.
You’re Sexually Immature
it could be you love sex but can’t connect with your partner during the act—ever. If so, your intimacy issues may be fostering a level of sexual immaturity. Sexual immaturity can show up as an excessive interest in porn, or in sex acts, as opposed to making love.
Sexually immature individuals may also insist upon using toys, or the accouterments of sex, rather than concentrating on their partner. People with a fear of intimacy may also recoil from sex, altogether. Both ends of the spectrum display an inability to emotionally let go or to communicate intimately.
It is best to bare yourself naked to your partner emotionally. This will ensure that you have no fear as regards bringing up your fears, and insecurities.
Your Body Is Present, But Your Mind Is Absent
You can share a home and still have intimacy issues. It could be that the television set is always on, even during dinner, or the video games you play incessantly on your own, in the basement. You don’t have to be attached to your partner at the hip, but if you never take the time to talk to each other, fear of intimacy may be the reason why.
Simple, nonverbal ways to build intimacy include eye contact, staying off technology, and being present for your partner. Physical contact, such as cuddling in the morning, or a real hug when you come back together after work, can be especially powerful.
These expressions of intimacy communicate to the other person that they matter to you. It builds safety, which results in deeper intimacy.