With the day to day stress we go through daily, it is quite easy to become judgmental and less open minded and compassionate. Despite how difficult it maybe, it is essential to learn to criticise constructively in a way that you will exude compassion.
Stop The Gossip
It might be hard to avoid gossip completely, but make an effort to change the conversation when your friends start sounding judgmental. You can do this by mentioning the good qualities of that person or bringing another perspective.
If you can’t change the negativity of your friends or social group, you may want to try finding a positive friend to hang out with more.
Blame The Action, Not The Person
Everyone makes mistakes, so make a point of seeing it as a bad action, not a sign of bad character. The person involved most likely feels guilty or insecure about his or her actions already, and certainly has other good qualities that balance any faults. This will not only make you more compassionate but also empathetic.
Switch From Negative To Positive
Look for the other side of the fault you find in people. Instead of being passed at the outfit of a friend, admire their confidence in being able to pull it off. Insyead of having the loud guffaw of the man sitting next to you at a restaurant, tell yourself how sweet it is that he’s having so much fun with his friends.
Say Positive Things To Yourself Everyday
Train your mind to be more compassionate by actively looking for the good in other people and yourself. A good way of doing this is to set a goal of passing at least 5 compliments to people and most importantly yourself, each day.
By doing this, you will find yourself less inclined to hunt for the bad in the people around you.
Think Of How You’d Like Others To See You
It may seem somewhat bad to to want people to see you in good light, it can be a good way to motivate you. Ask yourself what you want to be remembered by. Is it as the type of person who always blows off those you look down on or someone who does what is right?
Setting yourself up to look compassionate will make you more aware of how you’re coming off to both the person you’re judging and everyone else around.
Always Give A Benefit Of The Doubt
A lot of the time, we hardly have an idea of the things that are behind the actions of people. If you find yourself looking down on the decisions of people, be sure to find an explanation for them.
It could be that the toddler disturbing at the mall had a bad nights sleep or the guy who cut in front of you in traffic did so because he has to pick up his kids in a hurry because his boss didn’t allow him leave on time.
Even though your explanations may sound unreasonable, you’re not only being compassionate but it’s also a good reminder of times you’ve got stuck yourself and had to make a rash decision.
Let Go Of Your Insecurities
Sometimes, we criticise others to help us feel less insecure. You may want to identify such times and see the judgement you make then as jealousy. Take a moment to be thankful for what you have without comparing yourself to that person.