Very few things are as worse as being in the middle of a fight between your mother and wife. This is because the moment the two most important women in your life are at loggerheads, the relationship you’d have with either will at most, become awkward.
It is obvious that the two favourite women in your life are out to make you happy and it is left to you to manage any fallout between them appropriately.
A lot of the time, it is best to confront your wife and mother separately in a loving manner that will prevent the issues from escalating.
Here are four ways you can prevent fights from occurring between your mother and wife in a way you can please your wife and stay a mama’s boy.
Family Vacations And Cooking
Family Vacations are a time for family to interact but it may also be a ground for disagreements. Your mother has most likely handled majority of the vacations and the cooking before your wife and the fact that she grudgingly gives in doesn’t mean she doesn’t still want to be in charge.
Don’t tell your mother “You and I both know you’re a better cook than Debbie let her handle it this time.” Your mother will know you’re only trying to flatter her by saying this and you risk the information getting back to your wife.
Instead of complicating issues more, simply say “Mom, Debbie is a great cook, and we appreciate all your effort towards having a successful holiday. How about you make that your sweet vegetable soup?”
Saying this means you you’re letting your mother know of your wife’s prowess in the kitchen and that you’re being well fed while also reminding her of how great a cook she is.
Unfair Criticism of Your Wife
Criticisms will come especially from African mothers who are mostly conservative. Your mother could comment on the dressing of your wife saying that they will never be able to wear a short dress that exposes their body.
You’d most likely be caught in the middle and passing a comment like “you two should relax. Let’s have a drink please.” Saying this will only aggravate issues more.
If you appreciate your wife’s dressing, you can let your mother know by telling her how terrific your wife looks. Set boundaries for criticisms and you’d be happy for it.
Kids are another source point between wives and mothers. There’s a chance you and your wife only feed your children with wholesome food but after they spent time with your mother, they have taken a lot of sugars and sweets to last them for a long time.
Instead of acting conspiratorily with your mom by saying “if you’re going to feed the kids with a lot of sweets, don’t let Debbie know about it”, you can say “Mom, we’ve decided not to feed our son junk food. This is because it is important for their health, and we’d appreciate it if you work in tandem with us.”
It is important that you, your wife and mother present a united front most times for the success and development of the children.
A good way to prevent fights between the women you love is to have your mother tell you ahead of her visits. If you find yourself in a scenario where your mother constantly visits your house unannounced, you should never approach her and say “Hey mom, Debbie doesn’t like when you come over unannounced.”
Telling your mother this will only aggravate issues and pit your mother against your wife. Instead, you can tell your mother that “Mom, we enjoy your visits a lot but I’d love it more if you called first.”
Disagreements are part of a healthy relationship but it is nonetheless important to choose carefully, the words you say during a heated conversation with your partner because the wrong choice of words may result in an escalation of issues.
By saying this, you’re taking the blame away from your wife and letting your mother know that it is your wish for her to inform you before visiting.
This way, you’re setting boundaries that your mother will respect in time and protecting the relationship between her and your wife.