Everyone has a bucket list of things they hope to do in life and doing everything brings some sort of fulfilment that we will hold on to as memories and cherish in our latter days.
Typical caucasians have a number of seemingly bizarre things in their bucket list but an African man’s list contains nothing but basicness. If you’re the type that your bucket list contains risky clichés like bungee jumping and skydiving, you may want to reconsider your commitment to adventure. This is because a sexual bucket list can be of much more fun than that, that comes with adventure.
This however doesn’t mean sexual adventure cannot be risky as a lot of people have died seeking excitement from sex especially people willing to go the extra mile for sexual adventure. A typical Nigerian loves sex and knows that having sex in strange and risky places brings a lot of thrill which can put him in trouble he never envisaged despite the fact that he is only trying to silent his sensibilities and embrace his inner exhibitionist.
Here are the 5 riskiest places to have sex and why a typical Nigerian would not go ahead with the adventure.
On An Airplane
This is a good one to have on your bucket list because it is one thing that is virtually uncommon. Some commercial companies offer this luxury for a price but seriously? On an airplane? An Average Nigerian believes in God and thinks that God resides up there in heaven somewhere above the skies. Why would he want to test God by having sex close to his domain?
The moralist and Nigerian in us will not allow us go ahead with this because we believe in the event of a crash, God will surely reserve a special place in hell for us for daring to do such.
In The Back Of A Car
If it’s a taxi, the much we can go in this is the occasional kiss and smooching. This is because the average taxi driver is a bit old and we are sure to get reproached for trying to do what is perceived as unthinkable in the back of his car. More so, an average Nigerian will complain of the fact that having sex in his private car can cause his Engine to knock. Yeah. You heard me right. Our spirituality is so on hay we believe that sex should be reserved for our bedroom because our cars are always on the road and we don’t want the gods getting angry with us for committing a sacrilege.
On A Pile Of Money
Having sex on a pile of money is definitely not what an average Nigerian would do. Asides the harsh economic realities that probably won’t allow for it, we believe sex can be enjoyed better when that money is channeled into more useful ventures that will be of benefit to our partners. Unless one of them is being paid the money they are both spread on.
In An Elevator
Quite a number of people go ahead and do this because it is less risky as opposed to a lot of wild places to have sex. We are scared that God can come calling when a power outage occurs and we’d be stuck in the elevators. We also know the risk of getting caught and how much of an embarrassment we would suffer. Not to talk of a lot of advice and head-shaking followed by statements like “the world is coming to an end” or “see these goats having sex in public”.
At The Cinemas
We enjoy the darkness because it allows us to perform wonders such as kissing, smooching and perhaps, the occasional fingering. Full blown sex occurs but only at the risk of the participants stupid enough to try it. Asides the fact that you’d hardly ever get the hall to yourself, you’re also at the mercy of fellow movie watchers who will stop at nothing to expose you.
If you’re a Nigerian, you can surely relate to the things above. If you’ve been able to do these things, you are either totally mad or an absolute legend. Which of them features on your list? Which have you tried and why? Tell us in the comments section.