If you’ve heard the phrase “Aunty, go and marry!” or “Does Emeka that is 3 years younger than you and is married have 2 heads?”, you’re most likely a single Nigerian. Quite a number of things are ascribed to the single status in Nigeria. Family and friends have a particular tag for you and seem to separate you from activities involving your married counterparts.
A typical Nigerian home will as a matter of fact ring it always in your ears that you need to get a partner or remind you of your need to visit a prayer house if you’re of marriage age and not seeding to their demands. Some things are peculiar to being single in Nigeria and I bet a lot of us can relate to these things.
You Do Everything At Home
If you’re single, done with school and still living with your parents, you’d most probably be doing all the house chores. You may even have secured employment, but your parents and siblings want to have none of that and will tell you as much. They will even go out and tell you that respect comes with marriage and you can do nothing than bear it till the gods of marriage smile on you.
Dating Is Expensive
You’re single and you really can’t wait to change the status but you must pass through the rigours of dating. You’ve got no choice than to have a hole in your pocket especially if you’re a man since you’re expected to foot the bills at every single outing. Dating is extremely expensive in Nigeria especially if you want to weigh your options and go on multiple dates with multiple people. With movies, shawarma and drinks on the cards, you’d have a hole in your wallet in no time. But that’s still better since you have the hope of getting someone than having to face the brunt of your parents and family.
Working On Yourself
Being single entails you doing a lot of mental work on yourself. You keep asking yourself if there’s no spiritual hand in your matter and if there’s something you’re doing wrong. This can lead to depression but none of your friends and family are having it simply because they believe depression is for the white people. You’ve got to keep that smiling face on and trudge in till you get out of the singles zone.
You Find It Difficult To Get People To Hang Out With You
This is even worse if most of your friends are married as it can be pretty difficult for you to get your friends or family to hangout with you. You’d keep on hearing remarks like, “Don’t you think it’s time you settle down with a girl?” or “your man should be the one going shopping g with you!” Because you’re single, no one is obligated to do anything for you especially the things your friends are unwilling to do.
You Eat Alone
Being single entails you eating everything you cook without having someone to share your meals with. It’s even worse when you still live with your parents and you’d be getting that look that says “keep eating my food until you become a fat shapeless cow!”
You’re The Third Wheel
The older you get, the more you find out that you’re more or less the third wheel as everyone around you is pairing up. This will make simple things like going to the movies and the pool a third-wheeling affair. No matter how your married friends and those in a relationship insist that they love to have you around, you just know that you’re interfering in their personal time. The hand holding and kissing tells you you should say no on the next invitation.
Except you’re going to scan for potential partners at a wedding, nothing is as worse as attending them alone. The moment you walk into a wedding venue, you can literally feel the watchful eyes of friends and family filled with pity at your singular status. You basically can’t wait to get out of there to hide in a corner where you can avoid their questions.
You’d be getting a lot of pitiful look from friends and family who will keep telling you you’re next. You have to be prepared to hear phrases like “We will do your own wedding, In Jesus’ name,” and “God willing, I will be alive to see your wedding.” Some will even go as far as telling you that “There are lots of fine(nice) Nigerian boys out there” or ask, “What are you waiting for?”
You may even be lucky to get to have your relatives and friends introduce you to someone in an attempt to link you up.
It’s however not all that bad as they mostly want to show concern for your unmarried and single status. The peculiar nature of being single in Nigeria is something to cherish even though it may be annoying at times.
So go ahead, enjoy your single life!