There are certain phrases that increase your chances of getting people to do your bidding and in general, makes communication effective. All you need to get what you want is to choose the right words.
Here are 5 Phrases that can help you get what you want.
“Make Me Understand”
The mistake a lot of us make when people make a mistake or say something hurtful is to accuse them of doing wrong. Doing this only puts you on the defensive which will most likely make the other person upset or go defensive as well. The situation can be doused by reacting in a calmer manner and simply asking them to help you understand what happened. The person may have a reason why he/she took their decision which you may have no inkling about. Asking them to make you understand their decision only shows that you’re willing to get all the facts and work together to finding a solution without blaming anyone for making a mistake.
“What You Said Is…”
The first phrase that lawyers learn in school is this one. This phrase is simple but still holds a lot of power as it can help to clarify what the person you’re asking a question from is saying while also showing that you are listening and following their words intently. It can be used when a person is giving a description of the problems they are facing at the moment. By paraphrasing their comments, it helps you to get a good understanding of what they are telling you. Chances are you’d be surprised by their response to this phrase irrespective of how good a listener you think you are. This is because what the person talking to you intends to say may be different from what you understood they said. This often times lead to misunderstanding and arguments.
This phrase can also help the person you are talking to understand that you value and respect their thoughts. This will most likely make them do your bidding as everyone wants to be valued and respected.
“How Open Are You To The Possibility Of…?”
This is one of the most useful phrases to employ when you’re requesting for something without the chance of you getting a negative answer. This phrase helps to soften people’s mind as most people love to think of themselves as being open minded and willing to learn new things. When you use this phrase, someone you’re discussing with will most likely want to learn about what you have to say before arriving at a decision. This allows you to provide more information about what you’d bring to the table.
“My Request Is This…”
One of the reasons people don’t get what they want is because they fail to ask for it and even if they do. The manner in which you ask may not make it crystal clear that it is a request. This phrase allows you to be completely specific about what you want. Not being accurate about your request can result in you not getting what you want. The other good thing is this phrase allows an order to sound subtle and easier to ask.
“I Am Not Sure Yet, It’s Best I Get Back To You”
Using phrases like “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” makes you sound like someone lacking in confidence and experience. On the other hand, the phrase “Let me get back to you” can save you from embark when someone asks you something you don’t have an answer to. The phrase is open-ended but still provides an answer that is acceptable. It is however important that you don’t forget to get back as soon as possible, in fulfilment of your words.