Women always complain about men being adrift and failing to give them attention. However, they fail to understand that men sometimes get carried away and stressed with daily work. This can inadvertently put a strain in the relationship. This however, should not be an excuse for depriving a spouse of attention.
There are however certain do’s and don’ts to follow to get a man’s attention back.
Do’s: The very first thing to do if you realise your spouse is not giving you attention is to bring it to his attention. In the process of waiting, you may get frustrated as he may go back to his old ways of not giving you time and attention. Try all you can to be patient while appreciating his effort and small changes.
Don’ts: It is however important that you don’t accuse him constantly of things he may or may not be doing. For instance, if you require him to pay more attention to your sex life, you don’t have to go about accusing him of being unfaithful. If he sincerely tells you there’s no one else in his life and you have reasons to believe it true, let him be. The truth is we don’t like it when we are falsely accused especially if he is doing all he can to to be good to you. Talk to him gently and you’d get his attention.
Find A Way To Bond
Dos: If you and your man bond well, there won’t be a need to crave or ask for his attention. If you need to create a bond with him, you can try doing things that both of you share in common. It could be something as simple as reading a religious text together, watching a movie, cooking, exercising or listening to your favourite songs together.
Don’ts: You should avoid bringing up negative memories of the past. If he messed up sometimes in the past by having an affair or doing something wrong, avoid bringing it up as a means of punishing him for not giving you attention. Whatever wrongs he did in the past should have no bearing on the present. Focus on whatever issues is causing him to deny you attention which is your right.
Try The Non-verbal Approach
Dos: Chances are he wants to communicate with you but doesn’t know how to. You may want to consider trying a Non-verbal Approach of communicating with him. Try keeping a diary that will tell in detail what you love about him and your relationship. You can write daily in the diary memories the both of you shared together, the things you love about him or whatever tough things you or him maybe going through. Allow him access to the diary and this will surely help to keep the communication lines open which can be much easier and comfortable than talking about them.
Don’ts: Never force him to open up on the things he has in his mind. You should rather remind yourself and him the reasons why you’re fighting for your relationship. Forcing him to open up will do nothing more than push him away.
Go Out On A Date
Dos: Going out to eat a meal or watch a movie can help you get his attention. The outing will normally take everyone’s mind off the problems at home and at work while helping you both strengthen your bond as lovers. Moreover, it will remind him of how much he used to enjoy hanging out with you.
Don’ts: You should however avoid having a closed mind. If he is intent on fixing the issues that drew you apart, don’t close up your heart in anger. Communication is important in every relationship and trying a “tit for tat” approach will only worsen the situation. You should instead keep the communication lines open and in time, you should be able to sit down and discuss issues that led to his withdrawal.