The Right One
This perhaps is one of the commonest reasons Nigerian men put off marriage till late in in their lives. Quite a number of men get to explore a bit and during the process of exploration get disorientated with women. Some get to see Nigerian women only in the light of what they want to obtain from them while others seem to see them as a means to an end. This generally affects their psyche which in turn leads them to have an undue fear of marriage. Moreover, some are scared of ending up with the wrong woman or one that will be financially exploitative. As such, they will want to scrutinise as many choices as possible.
Everyone knows how expensive the traditional African dowry system can be. This is one reason a lot of brothers would rather stay off marriage till they can hold their own financially. Some parts of Nigeria take as much as a million Naira as dowry payments. This is excluding sundry expenses that a man is expected to cover during the wedding ceremonies. To gather enough money to pay the dowry of the woman you love in this part of the world may mean you have to hold a stable job that pays well for a couple of years.
Believe it or not, Nigerian men also have an idea of what they want their wedding ceremonies to be like. There’s always so much hype from family and relatives that we see our wedding in the worst possible way. Because we want every inch of our wedding ceremony and our married life to be perfect; as such, we take as much time as we can to ensure our dreams come true.
We Love The Single Life
Going out with your guys to have Nkwobi and bottles of cold beer at night reduces once you trade your single life for marriage. Men are practically scared of the loneliness that comes with having to change their routine all because they are stuck with a woman for the rest of their lives. A lot of Nigerian men tend to hold off tying the knot simply because they don’t want to give up on the ‘good life’ of hanging out with their hommies even though this increases the chances of them missing out on someone special down the road.
Nigerian men stay off marriage as a subtle way of protesting and resisting Pressure from people who constantly remind them that they should be married at a certain age. The ultimatum that comes from a partner or parents adds undue pressure and we tend to intentionally go against the threat in an attempt to see what consequences would come with doing so. In all honesty, we get a bit confused when we are under undue pressure and would rather put off marriage till when we are completely certain than to admit later on that we would rather not have walked down the aisle.
This perhaps is the biggest reason while a lot of guys would rather put off marriage till when they are in their mid thirties. The economic situation is not friendly enough to embark on that tortuous journey where the man is expected to shoulder majority of the family’s responsibilities. From the high cost of baby food to the ever sky rocketing school fees, Nigerian men want some form of financial stability before even considering marriage. And who would blame us for this?
It’s quite the opposite for the strictly religious folks but the non-religious Nigerian men put off marriage as a means of not getting stuck with one woman. In truth, a lot of Nigerian men pride themselves in how much they’ve been able to explore different women and various sexual activities. Some tend to enjoy these activities so much that they would rather put off marrying till late. This is because marriage will limit their ability to be with different women. As a matter of fact, some men enjoy this life way into their 40’s before they decide to settle in for marriage.
Getting married is a reason to celebrate and everyone holds themselves a duty to marry for the right reasons. Irrespective of your reason for putting marriage off, you should derive happiness from your decisions. Take as much time as you care for and remember not to commit for the wrong reasons.