Abby’s Diary #10 By Fiksionist

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Dear Diary,

“Sto…oooppp! Please stooppp….!” I was reeling with laughter as Jake tickled me beneath sheets. That was his thing- tickling. He stopped and pulled me into a deep kiss that left my insides wanting more.  “Go and shower jor” I said, slapping his sweaty arm.

“I won’t, except you join me.”  He said with a mischievous grin on his face.

“I will shower with you if… if you promise to take me to your house.”

A frown replaced his smiling face and as he tried to pull away, I pulled him back to bed. “With that type of exercise this morning round the beach and back, I should shower. “ he tried smiling but I knew he was upset. He finally pulled away after planting kisses on my neck.

Dear Diary, I am so crazy about him. The trip to Paris was beautiful and I was already getting depressed because I was resuming work the following day. My mind took me back to the foods I enjoyed in the city of lights; Duck Confit, Steak Frites and the yummy, fluffy croissants. I swear, I didn’t want to come back to Nigeria. It was just amazing as I spent Jake’s money on clothes and accessories and even things I knew I would never use. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do right? (wink). Coming back to Nigeria was like a slap in the face, a welcome back to live in the real world. That was when I started asking questions I couldn’t ask in Paris aka Wonderland. It’s not like we didn’t talk but Jake was never really around because of the training and endless meetings with his prospective business partners. In the little time I had been with him, I knew just five things about Jake and it freaked me out to know that I was already head over heels in love with him:

  • He was divorced
  • He loved sex
  • He loved freshly baked cookies
  • He loved being a pilot
  • Last and the least, he loved not talking about anything about his past and was veryextremely private

It was the last part that scared me. I could tolerate everything but the last part. I remember when we were in Paris and after returning to our hotel room from a wine tasting event and me, heady with all the excitement, I said the forbidden.

“ I am in love with you Sexy.”

He smiled and kissed me but he said nothing in return. Wait! Don’t judge me. It’s not like I said it so that he will say same but I just thought we were on the same page.  His attitude towards me didn’t change throughout the trip and I tried suppressing how I felt, but the more I tried, the more it hurt to keep it all inside. He came out of the bathroom and met me in bed crying. That was my last attempt to trying me to let me into his life.  Water works always works, abi?

“Abby what’s wrong? Is this how much you miss Paris?” he teased.

“ It’s not about Paris, Sexy. It’s you.” I sobbed.

He scratched his brows and then sat next to me in bed. “What do you want?”

“Jake I don’t get you. One minute we are in love and the next minute we are strangers. I barely know anything about you. We have been in this resort and you have never taken me to your house in Lagos, I don’t know why you left your wife…Jake just let me in.”  I pleaded amidst sobs.

He sighed. “Is this about Paris and the I love you thing?”

I didn’t reply.

We sat there silently, staring at each other as I tried to read the expression on his face but saw nothing but a man who was not sure of what to do with the woman before him.

“We don’t have to figure it out now, Abby. Let’s give it some time and see where this leads.” He used his fingers and wiped away the tears on my face. I didn’t feel relieved even when he tried to change the topic to something on TV.

The day went by and I lazily dressed up to go home. I missed Ogama and we had lots of things to talk about but I was unsure about giving Jake any space. I knew what we needed was closure and a way to pull him in. As he parked in front of my house, a thought flew around my head and eventually forced its way through my mouth.

“Maybe I should get an apartment in town and you can come visiting whenever you want to. It is a lot better than staying at the resort and-“

“Abigail can we just stop this.”

“But I just think-“

His brows furrowed .“Don’t think about this Abigail. Just let it flow. Let it come easy”

I don’t think I said anything wrong. Why is he so pissed? Is this guy going to be another Tayo with games and drama? I got out of the car, controlling my tears and struggling with the anger that was threatening to burst through my every nerve.  He left without saying goodbye and even though it hurt, seeing Ogama rush out to give me a welcome home hug temporarily pushed away my emotions.

We got in and I gave her full, undiluted gist of my trip and how things were going with Jake.

“Babes I think you should take it slow. I don’t think this guy is a bad guy but you are trying too hard.” Ogama said.

“How? This is a guy that I am in love with but he is just so private about his feelings. I need to know my stand with him”

“And you think shoving it down his throat will help?”

I rolled my eyes. “ Are you on my side or on his Ogama?”

“ I am on your side that is why I am advising you right.”

I thought of what Ogama said as she opened my box and ‘oohhhed’ and ‘ahhedd’ at my new clothes.

Dear Diary, maybe I over-reacted but I am just a girl who wants to be loved. Is that too much to ask for?

Fiksionist

Fiksionist

She is a writer, blogger, bathroom-singer and she loves to laugh. Her mind is her playground and if you want to know more… Visit fiksionist.wordpress.com Follow her on Twitter @loglilmary

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