The last time we met I was In Love With A Stranger. This week I am in love with a lie. Lol, at my emotional imbalance.
The good thing about being single is you know no one is cheating on you. You don’t have to worry about infidelity or have insecurities, just some good old self-love. I want a new relationship, but I want something so amazing, I can’t even afford to settle for less.
I learnt wise words from a guy who I met, and he made an intelligent postulation.
I stepped out for chocolate brandy and coconut sundae at this cute little cookie store close to home. I pop in there once in a while and today was one of those once in a whiles. Hardly I sat down when I noticed my chair had been pulled backward for me. Oh lawd? Who? Do you want me to fall graciously and embarrass myself here?
He smiled, ”I’m sorry, Just pulled your chair so you have better space to sit”. I cringed, ”You pulled my sit? When did Nigerian men invest in chivalry”’. That smile never left his face, ”It was never gone, Nigerian women stopped asking for it.”
Okay, this just got interesting, ever ready for great conversation that involves tapping into the male psychology, I invested in his class.
He kept standing. I was waiting for him to sit and he said you have to offer me to take it before I do. It would be rude of me to assume because I pulled your chair to help you sit comfortably, I also have to share yours with you. You can have company or be waiting for one.
Now this is just getting to another level. I said, please sit. I’d love to engage you in a polite conversation. He obliged and we got talking.
Midway into the conversation, He said, I’m surprised you let me sit with you.
I couldn’t help but ask why.
His reply was calm, No girl will permit a man just sit with her in a cookie store and just talk, not when she has the option to eat you up. Plus, the girls suddenly expect to order up and automatically expects the man to pay. (I loled). I’m serious. This is refreshing. Still, please I would love to get you whatever you want.
I raised an eyebrow, Whatever I want?
He grinned for the first time and I observed he had great dentition and a double dimple. Correcting himself, he said, Whatever you want here right now. maybe we could get any other thing you want later, His phone rang at that time. (He answered and went to France in french).
I couldn’t help but wonder who he was. I noticed he was always calm. Very thoughtful with his words like he’s careful not to say the wrong things. And polite too. He walked back into the store, smiling as he made his way towards me.
He began, ‘‘if I must ask. You want something amazing from a guy, right, well, what do you have to offer the guy in return? You might meet an amazing guy who wants a crazy girl, you want him but you are not what he wants. Or I, being the guy, might want her but she would not want me.
So while you’ll stay for good reasons he’s with you for selfish reasons, same with the girl being with me. She’s probably with me because I take better care of her than the other guys in her life. If she gets something more, she would probably curve.”
I thought deeply on his question. I told him I liked where the conversation was going and would love if he could expound and he obliged.
This generation of girls have serious low self esteem. All the things they take serious and think we men care about, we actually don’t. They have realized that the fairer they are, the more attractive they become so everyone is wacka flocking in that direction.
The men love it, so they’ll pay for it. It’s reverse psychology. Use what you have to get what you want. Or so women think.
Truth is, we could care less if you were as black as the moon during an eclipse as long as you are humble. Not dull or loose or good’ol foolish. But smart, real and humble. No forming. Even if it doesn’t work out between us that way at least we will always be friends and help each other out in future because we were real. But the real girls have all gone to roost. Some say none exist anymore. They are Extinct.
Take a girl out and ask her to order for food and see how babes disgrace themselves. What she will never eat again till she dies, she just wants to waste your money because that’s the mentality she possesses.
And we guys know this so we will value you, put you on a price scale and decide how much of our money we can give up to have you. If a guy is spending 500K on you right now, Trust, he has more. And more can turn to less in a while and you start struggling to meet up appearances. Some camouflage and save for months just to get a babe. After he has had the sex, he suddenly realizes, okay, what next? Fling, Free Fuck, Fly. It’s even worse if the girl begins to like him, because she thinks he has the money he lured her with in abundance.
When a woman does not need a man’s money, it’s liberation for him as he is expense-free. But, it’s a personal prison as you will always be insecure about her finances. Come on, she can afford Whatever She Wants. Do you know how amazing women feel to never have to ask a man for anything?
Therefore, I ask myself, what do I have to offer a woman in a relationship when she doesn’t need me for money or sex? What is she bringing to the table beyond vain looks? I want a woman who understands how to live with me and without me in peace. Intelligent men know women who are intelligent feminists.
(At that point his phone rang again, he switched to french, I kept busy and checked the time)
Him: I’m sorry, I have to leave immediately, can I have my driver drop you off.
Me: No, thank you, I came in my car.
Him: I would love to do this again sometime.
I had already stepped across the threshold on the way to my car. Ever the bosslady.
I’ll definitely be seeing him again till then, I learnt two things from my encounter with…. O shoot, I don’t even know his name.
I’ve come to realize when you take money and sex out of a relationship you suddenly discover exactly what value you both have to add or in some cases, don’t have to add, to each other.
It’s easy to sieve the vagina-hunters and gold-diggers this way.
In love with a lie is when you tell yourself you don’t love someone because of their money like if they go broke today you would stick by and stay close even when it gets darkest. Even Peter denied Jesus when shit hit the roof. Are you in love with a lie? Or is a liar loving you?
Photo Credit, iamteamatural