I regularly read up on a couples site I really like. One is sure to always come across the strangest of reasons why couples fight, as well as many weird marital problems and relationship issues.
Have you ever wondered about an ex you loved but who left you? Maybe the reasons weren’t entirely right but you still loved them anyway. Well, here is a man who has been married for four years after dating his wife for six years; that’s a total of ten years yet he still has feelings for his ex.
Although he still loves his wife, he can’t help but wonder on the “what if’s”, at the expense of his relationship.
He begs, “What do I do to move on? Do I talk to my ex? What if she feels the same? What if she doesn’t? Usually I can make my own decisions and have control over my feelings but this one won’t go away”.
Here’s his story.
I’ve been married for 4 years and with my wife for a total of 10 years but on and off throughout our relationship I keep thinking about my ex, not just the odd thought but excessively. I dream about her every couple of months, I don’t dream about anyone or anything else on a regular basis like this.
I know I still have feelings for my ex whilst I do love my wife, I just don’t know how to forget about the ex and move on. This is becoming a really big issue for me now as its been 10 years of regular thought and dreams and I just want to put her out of my mind and move on. I should probably also mention that my ex is now married too, and we both have children.
What do I do to move on? Do I talk to my ex? What if she feels the same? What if she doesn’t? Usually I can make my own decisions and have control over my feelings but this one won’t go away.
Any advice would be appreciated as I fear this will eventually drive a wedge between my wife and I as my feelings for my ex seem to get stronger and stronger the more time that passes.
Usually it will take a few days or weeks to get her out of my head entirely but then I’ll dream about her or drive past her (we live within a couple of streets so cannot avoid it) and I’m back to square one and the cycle continues.
My wife and I get on well, I still love her very much and we still laugh together so I don’t think that part needs more focus, I just need to find a way to forget about my ex once and for all. I wish I could speak to her as I’m sure she’d tell me she isn’t interested and that’ll give me some sort of closure but that option is out the window as it could cause serious reprocussions which I don’t want. I need some other way of closure. – Anonymous.
Is it me or is everyone so in love with Adele’s ‘Hello’ because they have once been heartbroken and so the song is quite relatable. My two cents on it is, it’s just a song about a girl who loved a guy and had to chose at the expense of her love yet she never stopped loving him. She even went back to try and have one last chance. Hello.
Well, I’m not all up for calling him back to find out if there’s another shot at us. If I have to call, it has to be business. I never turn money away even from an enemy. But thinking of an ex or fantasizing on the ‘what ifs’ is actually quite normal, wank on them if you have to, but never ever beg back anybody who breaks up with you.
Read up on the advice he got:
Here’s my advice, “Love comes when you believe in its innocence. Any emotion that is calculating and manipulative isn’t love and your ex never had love for you. People who love you, never walk away. It’s time to reject her finally”.
Photo Credit, BHM