Merry Christmas lovers!
Today’s Friendzone HQ episode is dedicated to my baby mama, one of my closest friends Olakanmi. She just birthed the most beautiful baby ever and my unborn daughter’s bestie! Ugh, I’m in love!
“He’s an idiot, that’s what he is. Nothing more, Ola. And you’d agree with me if you weren’t trying so hard to see him in a good light.”
“But I am not trying so hard to do that, he is always in a good light. He is a good man.”
Oyin scoffed, arranged the peppered chicken in a soup bowl and placed it gently on a tray.
Ola handed her a large dish filled with steamy jollof rice and she gently put it by the soup bowl containing the peppered chicken. She gave the very well cooked bird another glance before she turned towards the door leading to the dining room.
Ola was right behind her, a tray containing freshly peeled pineapples and watermelon in her hands.
They were going to join the men; Ola’s husband, Segun and Kolapo with the women; Adaeze and Vanessa in the sitting room.
Oyin had mentioned casually to Ola as they headed to the Kitchen two hours before that there was no way a world war was inevitable before dinner was over and even though Ola had laughed it off, as they closed in on the expensive furniture that made up the dining table, Oyin was certain it was going to happen.
A week before, Vanessa had popped into Nigeria out of nowhere, surprising everyone, including the man that was supposed to be her boyfriend or Fiancé as she liked to call him when she arrived.
With an unexpected accident and a hospital admission, she’d been able to get away with what she did and she’d also managed to get everyone’s compassion. Everyone expect Segun of course.
Oyin had been livid, so livid Kolapo had wondered why she was that emotional about a sudden girlfriend announcing herself suddenly to all of them.
He had found it amusing and honestly, even though he did not like the guy, had thought he had game.
For him, he knew a man who could confidently and easily string two women along and still be after a third, was a Champion, a Gamer, an Olympian and if you liked a Legend.
“Legend ko, John Legend ni” Oyin had hissed when he had jokingly referred to Segun as a Legend after the news broke. Then she had gone ahead to explain she had been angry because he was “wasting his life away thinking he was doing something smart”.
But the truth was she was mad that he had been trying to get in her pants when he had all the women he wanted in different shades. Who did he think he was really? Trey fucking Songz?
He was hot and all that but he needed to have a rethink if he thought that gave him a pass to behave like Flavor or Tuface.
She placed a hand on her hip after she’d relieved herself of the tray of food she was carrying and watched as the three men cheered one of the teams currently playing football on SuperSport.
Segun was wearing a polo in his favorite color purple, his recently trimmed hair giving him a much fresher and appealing look.
As much as she was mad at him for being an asshole, she was also worried sick for him.
Before he’d left the country for his Masters degree, he had been a gentleman or at least had made an effort to be – he did not have more than one girlfriend at a time, did not feel the need to have all the girls around him like a Pimp and most of all had respected women.
Now, all that was left of her handsome, sweet and witty best friend was someone who treated women like dirt.
Earlier, when she had been going to help Ola in the Kitchen, Adaeze and Vanessa had offered to help. And Adaeze, after staring daggers at Vanessa had hissed and hurriedly followed them. But Oyin had been quick to shake her off right there and then, telling her that she and Ola could handle the cooking by themselves.
Thing was, they had needed all the help they could get and it would have been great if Vanessa and Ada had joined them but the truth was, she knew the heat in the kitchen would not have been the one coming from the cooking alone. The atmosphere would have been tensed, needing more than a sharp knife to slice through it.
And she did not want that. She did not want to have a taste of what Segun was probably dealing with in his life at the moment.
If he wanted to be stupid and act like he was Chris Brown, then he could handle his shit himself.
He suddenly turned in her direction now; as if aware she was staring at him as he cheered another Player who just scored a goal. Their gazes locked for a second and he winked at her.
She refused to respond in any way and he smiled before returning his gaze to the flat screen in front of them in the massive sitting room.
They were in Ola’s father in law’s massive house in Ikeja GRA; the house was probably one of the best structures erected in Lagos and had been featured as one of the most beautiful house in Africa numerous times in different magazines.
The old man who was a retired General in the army never stayed in the country and Ola and her husband had access to it whenever they wanted.
So during her annual Christmas eve dinner, she’d invited all of them to come over. And for some reason, Segun had turned up with his two girlfriends.
“Hey babe” Kolapo was planting soft kisses around her neck now, his arm draped around her shoulder “Have I told you how gorgeous you look today?”
She was wearing a figure hugging wrap dress from DVF, it was one of her favorites and one of the most expensive things she owned.
She had bought the dress while it was on sale three years before and had only worn it on special occasions or occasions she was trying to get laid.
There was nothing special about this particular occasion – there was jollof rice and all that but it was not worth her extremely beautiful DVF dress – so why the heck was she clad in it?
Why had she visited the Spa a day before, had her body scrubbed and had her facials done?
Why had she had her makeup done by one of her friends at work who they all referred to as medical makeup Artist because of how amazing her facebeat skills were?
And why was she wearing her favorite pair of lingerie, the Victoria’s Secret pair she’d also bought on sales on that one trip to Canada?
“Thanks babe” She said to Kolapo who was nibbling on her ears now. She giggled because of the way his tongue tickled her and that got a few people’s attention, including Segun.
His expression was blank, even though he stared longer than the others and unlike the others who thought they needed to “get a room”, he’d been mute.
“Oya o, come and eat” Ola said to everyone and they all made their way to the dining table, Vanessa coming in last.
She was clad in a floor length boho dress that had slits that ran up to her thighs, revealing shiny thoroughly waxed legs and a plunging neckline that revealed a fair share of her pretty babies.
Oyin knew that dress was not an accident – it was planned, calculated and carefully picked the same way her trip to Nigeria had been.
She had not talked to Segun since Vanessa arrived and she’d not bothered to ask what the nature of their relationship was or where they were presently but she knew Vanessa knew she had a rival in Adaeze and she was trying to send a clear message to her.
Adaeze on the other hand was wearing a bodycon that drew a lot of attention to her well-shaped booty. Once upon a time, that booty had been the reason Segun was stuck with her, one of the reasons she’d had him on lockdown and the reason she’d even appeared in a popular artist’s music video.
Her ass was a phenomenon, it deserved its own road, its own public holiday, heck, it deserved a biopic.
She drew out a chair and sat opposite Segun while Vanessa struggled for a space near him.
That was the thing with Ada, something Vanessa did not know and that could displace her in the silent battle they had going on.
Adaeze did not fight dirty, in fact, Oyin was almost certain she was asking Vanessa to come for sleepovers at the moment. Ada was that girl who knew what she wanted and instead of fighting the competition, kept her close while she sent subtle but clear messages to the man.
And that was why instead of fighting for a space near the man she wanted, she was sitting opposite him. Somewhere her legs could run up his jeans, somewhere where she could send messages with her body, messages others might sleep on but that he’d be too awake to miss.
“So are you guys dating?” Ada asked about Kolapo the moment she took her space near Oyin. Segun was staring hard at her, she could feel his eyes from where he sat near his mammy water looking girlfriend.
She nodded, she’d said yes to Kolapo the night before when he had asked her to be his girlfriend on their way to hers just after they had seen a movie at the mall.
“Aww” Ada said and clapped in excitement, “Nice one, baby girl. So excited for you guys”
“Thank you” Kolapo said and planted a kiss on Oyin’s head before he took a seat near her at the end of the table.
“So Vanessa shey you have been enjoying Naija?” Ola asked as she reached for the jollof rice and dished it into her empty plate.
Vanessa nodded, “Not bad. By the way, do you have any greens to go with this food?” she was looking around the dining table as if expecting the greens to erupt from the spread out food like a volcano. “I’m not really into white rice”
“The rice is not white, it’s orange” Oyin said and the table erupted in laughter. Oyin laughed nervously, she could see the embarrassment on Vanessa’s face and she felt horrible.
She had not meant to make her feel or look stupid, she’d made the joke just to ease her up but she’d clearly done the opposite.
“Come on guys, it’s not that funny” Oyin said, trying to right her wrong before it went horribly wrong.
“But it is” Segun said, a twinkle in his eyes. He lifted a glass of red wine to his lips, his eyes on her.
She looked away, focusing on anything in the room save him. He was making her uncomfortable with the stares he was sending her way and she knew him well enough to know it was on purpose.
He was sending her a message and he was not going to stop, not even when they were in the middle of friends and as it were, lovers.
That was classic Segun, he was cocky, unperturbed by whatever the world was saying or doing anytime he felt the need to send a message across.
“Kayode, where is that your old 90s compilation you had one year like that? The one we used to listen to anytime we snuck in here from School?” she was desperate to talk about something else, to make Vanessa feel better again and to convince herself Segun was not doing anything to her by doing nothing.
“Haha you remember those.” Kayode was smiling, he winked at his wife, “Babe, remember the number of times we…” he cleared his throat “to that compilation”
Ola chuckled, “Is that not how we got here” She said, referring to her baby bump.
Everyone laughed, causing Oyin to feel a lot better. And when she noticed Vanessa also laughed, she felt relieved.
“I have them all on my iTunes now sef. Let me connect this phone to the home theatre and we can have that music while we eat”
In a few seconds, Kayode had his old music compilation playing through the speakers in the house.
Usher was singing You Make Me Wanna, sending Oyin back into memories she’d long buried and that only the song could revive.
“Segun, remember that one time in London when you sang this for me at a Karaoke bar?” Vanessa was saying excitedly, a manicured hand gently placed on Segun’s shoulder. Then, feeling the need to update the table with the details of the night she was talking about. “Segun and I had visited this bar with our dates for the night, we’d arrived separately of course but we had somehow ended up on the same table, sharing jokes and connecting the way we couldn’t with our partners. Then when it was his time to sing, he chose the song and staring right into my eyes, he’d done it for me.”
“Hmm.. delicious food” Adaeze said, suddenly getting everyone’s attention. She raised her fork in the air as she spoke to Vanessa, “And a fantastic story. One question though, sorry two. Make that two questions, boos. One for you, Angela and one for you Segun.”
“My name is Vanessa”
“Sounds the damn same to me, honey. As I was saying Angela, you said this guy right here looked into your eyes like you were some interesting football game and sang for you. Question is why were you so sure it was for you?” She looked genuinely puzzled.
“Cause of the damn lyrics.” Vanessa replied, clearly miffed Ada was ruining a night that obviously meant something to her.
“Oh right. I’d have thought so too, especially when he arrived with a date… a date you said? Right, a date while you had a date too. Which brings me to the next question, Segun, you had a date while you had a girlfriend here in Nigeria? Please tell me this date was the one on the calendar?”
Oyin knew the drama in front of them was going to end badly but for some reason, she enjoyed it. Segun deserved it and she needed something to take her mind off him anyway.
If it was going to be drama courtesy of his two queens, then so be it.
“No it was not. It was my course mate, a white girl I wouldn’t have touched with a Nepa pole and whom she knew but thought to mention anyway” Segun said, a slight look of disgust on his face.
“Hey guys, let’s just enjoy dinner and keep the claws back in” Ola said
“Yes guys, it’s not the season to fight” Kayode said with a dimpled smile and everyone returned to their meal.
It was I Swear playing next on the compilation and Oyin remembered the night she and Segun had a moment to the song years before.
She refused to look at him now, even though she knew he was staring, even though she wanted to stare at him so bad.
She suddenly abandoned her food and hurried through the stairs into one of the rooms upstairs.
What was wrong with her? Why did she feel a strong undeniable force constantly drawing her to him? Couldn’t she behave herself? This was someone she’d always known, why was she suddenly unable to control herself?
“Why do you keep denying it?” He asked, shutting the door behind him.
She was standing with her back to the door, her eyes looking through the window.
“Segun, you shouldn’t be here”
“Right. Why did you run here then?”
She turned around, “I’m not sure which I find more appalling, your cockiness or your decision to string all the women around you along”
“Does this mean I succeeded in stringing you along at a time?” and again that smirk was there. She lowered her head, damn did he know how annoying he was? And that regardless she was attracted to him and his stupid arrogance? “Come here” He pulled her close in one quick move.
“Don’t fight it”
“Nah, see let’s do it this way, I kiss you, you call my name if you like it.”
He raised her chin with one finger and crushed his mouth into hers, his tongue invading her mouth, his kiss setting her ablaze the way petrol would when it came in contact with fire.
Pressing her body hard against his, he held her firmly against him as if worried she’d walk out of the door if he kissed her wrongly for a second.
When they suddenly pulled apart seconds later, she was breathless, breathless from the kiss and from the way her body was now engulfed by the kiss that they shared.
Suddenly aware of their environment, they looked towards the entrance. Kayode was standing there, a smile on his face.
Embarrassed, Oyin hurriedly left the room.
“Segun, you shouldn’t have done that”
“I know but…”
“Come on, the chemistry was the only thing more obvious than the food on the table. You shouldn’t have made it worse by following her here. Her man was there, I had to tell him to let me come check on you because I knew I was going to find this happening. You might not like the guy but respect him.”
And Segun knew that as much as he respected Kolapo for being his own man, it was going to be hard not to be buried in his girlfriend’s moist insides.
– Tomilola Coco Adeyemo