An Average Guy’s Guide To Getting High But Not Messing Up

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It’s that festive time of the year again when lots of booze, alcohol and what have you will be flying around. Whether you’re heading out for a family party, music concert or Christmas party at work, you’d want to keep your senses intact and avoid getting drunk in a way that will have you breaking stuffs which will offend people and may end up ruining good relationships.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Here is a step by step guide that can help you get the desired feeling that comes with alcohol consumption but still make you retain your senses enough not to make a mess of yourself.


Alcohol Metabolism
After consuming alcohol, it’s constituents are absorbed into the veins of the small intestine and transferred into the liver where it is broken down by enzymes. The level of alcohol in the blood is affected by certain factors which determine how drunk you become. These factors include food, certain enzymes and type of alcohol consumed.

If you’re planning on taking lots of alcohol this season, ensure its not on an empty stomach. Eat well before any party or undergoing a drinking spree. This is because the level of alcohol in your blood is affected by the rate at which food leaves your stomach. It takes a longer time for protein and fats to get digested which would reduce the levels of blood alcohol. If you’re at a party, snack as much as you can while you drink.

Take As Little Caffeine As Possible
Caffeine which is mostly contained in energy drinks will keep you awake but won’t make you sober. Caffeine can make you consume more alcohol while making you drunker than you actually think you are which may make you do stupid and crazy things. Caffeine will also make you dehydrated and complicate your body system.


Choose Your Drinks Wisely
Alcoholic drinks such as Red wine, Whiskey, and Rum contain more congeners. These are chemicals that cause headaches and affects your sense of inhibition. It is best you avoid sugary drinks which can increase your blood sugar levels quickly and crash them suddenly too. This will cause tiredness and headaches which I bet you don’t want.

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Take Lots Of Water
Consuming alcohol is bound to make you want to pee more which can make you dehydrated. This will likely cause hangovers which can make you severely drunk. This is where water is your best friend. Try and take one glass of water for every bottle of beer or alcoholic drinks you take. This will surely make you pee more and prevent you getting drunk and dehydrated.

Take A Rest
When you’re tired, chances are you’d get drunk faster. This because when you’re tired, you no longer think clearly which makes the symptoms of exhaustion manifest as drunkenness. Consuming alcohol in a tired state is bound to make the symptoms more severe.

A study at the University of Rochester found that general fatigue or tiredness will lead to a higher concentration of alcohol in the blood because of a reduction in the metabolic activities of the liver. More so, alcohol is a depressant which will only amplify the effects of tiredness along with the normal effects of alcohol. As such, get as much sleep as you can a night before you party hard.

READ: An Average Guy’s Guide To Mind-Blowing Oral Sex

Train Your Body
I don’t really subscribe to this, but it has been proven to work. If you’re a well-practiced drinker, you can try consuming lots of alcohol weeks before an event where you’d be taking quite a bit. This is to let your body adjust to your alcohol intake. You don’t necessarily have to binge, but drink enough to build a tolerance to the chemicals. You can detoxify yourself after.

Use Your Head
In all, using your head is the best thing. There’s a thing line between being the “life of the party” and “a foolish idiot.” Use your head, take it slow and easy, have fun, then take a cab or bus home. Following these steps will ensure you stay alive to enjoy more parties and drink more alcohol.




Normal everyday dude uniquely different in an everyday manner, a young man that strongly believes in the Nigerian project. I'm a mixture of science, arts and politics. I can be engaged on twitter @SheriffSimply

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