Having Casual sex comes with a lot of booby traps that can be likened to a minefield. It is a tricky enterprise to undertake to say the least. If you have a consenting adult who appears to be on the same page regarding having casual sex, it doesn’t make it less tricky. It could however, also mean the perfect thing for two consenting adults who are looking to find a solution to a particular itch.
But, it doesn’t always happen that way for a variety of reasons. Perhaps because when casual sex is involved, we tend to treat the other person less than we will because we are out to prove that we don’t care emotionally for them.
Have sex with people you like
Basically, it’s better to have sex with people you like. We mean people you respect and would introduce to your friends and family if their paths were to mistakenly cross. We are talking about people you would actually go out of your way to please, not minding how much of a fool doing so might make you.
Almost everyone is guilty of trying to appear as the cool “dude” or “babe” when it comes to having sex. It’s not much of a good thing to appear chauvinistic or appearing desperate to get laid. No one is above showing care and having some form of self respect, just as nothing makes you better than other people simply because you place very few emotional demands on your partner than some other person might. There’s no problem with you not wanting anything other than physical contact but never make the mistake that not doing so makes you special. Don’t put any one down simply because you want to get what you want. Try and show your humane side by being compassionate. You’d be more attractive that way.
No ulterior motives
It is hard (and happens sparsely) to have sex with someone that is in a relationship. If you’re interested in having a relationship, you need to follow the mature path and say so. Don’t start having sex with the hope that something is going to come out of it especially if the both of you have made it explicitly clear that sex is all you want. Your life is not straight out of a movie scene.
Text messages are a no no when it comes to discussion methods as if you’re going to be exchanging body fluids and occasional pillow talk, you owe the other person an in-person explanation of what they should expect from you. Their physical reaction will be an eye opener about how they really feel about you as opposed to how texting will.
If you have any doubts whatsoever that your consensual partner has hopes of taking things further, simply put a stop to sleeping with them. Try and show respect by taking responsibility for yourself. It would be a tough call dealing with tears and drama by saying “I told you I didn’t want a relationship!” when you know, if you’re truly honest with yourself, you saw the hope in their eyes the night you had a serious talk about where you’re headed.
Establish your criteria
The best of consensual partners for casual sex fit certain criteria and if they do not meet up, you might have to look somewhere else for someone who does. Don’t settle if they do not meet up. There are a whole lot of people out there who are willing to have sex with you. Look out for the one that’s worthy of you.
Look for a friend-with-benefits that’s single and willing. Try not to covet someone else’s goods especially when their backs are turned. If you’re the type already involved in using someone else’s life love as a means for casual sex, perhaps you want to re-evaluate your value system.
Know your boundaries
If your consensual partner only ever gets to call you when it’s late at night, they’re drunk, when they need your nude pictures, and they have to be up early the next day, you might be selling yourself short. You might want to put how your consensual partner makes you feel and you might get more from a sober sex than one that’s sloppily passionate.
Putting in casual sex for a date can be quite sexy when you put into consideration the foreplay before the main sex. The ideal thing is to respect the schedule of your consensual partner and learn to take their words for face value. If they have to work late, presume the best: that it’s true. However try not to allow constant last minute cancellations to plans you’ve made.
Use a condom. Learn to Establish boundaries. Be playful. But most of all, when casual sex is involved, be kind.