One of the most complicated relationships that exist on mother earth is that between wives and mothers. A lot of things can go wrong when your mother gets angry at your wife or vice versa given that these two women are perhaps the people you love most. It’s quite awkward both the truth is both your wife and mother are out to make you happy. Which is why you must ensure you maintain as much friendliness and peace between them. This might require some sort of confrontation between yourself and your mum and wife.
Here are four ways you can handle any sour feelings that may arise in order for you to please your wife and ultimately stay loyal to your mum.
Criticising either your wife or your mother in front of the other is one quick recipe for disaster. Imagine a situation where your wife wears an outfit which your mother sees as short for a family event all of you are attending. The best way to play it safe is to tell your mother how beautiful your wife looks and how your mother should see the positive side of her outfit.
Act on Unannounced Visits
The typical thing that occurs with this is your mother paying unannounced visits to your house when your wife has a wonderful weekend planned for you both. The thing to avoid is telling your mother that your wife doesn’t like her coming without prior information. By saying so, you set both women against each other. As such, it is better you tell your mom softly that you’d love it, if she called first. This helps to avoid conflict, while setting boundaries for your mother.
The love your wife has for your children is akin to one that cannot be explained. Mothers tend to have an unshakable opinion as to what food or clothes their children should eat or wear. Grandparents on the other hand tend to over indulge their grand kids with sweets, chocolate and biscuits which may give them bad teeth and stomach ache. Instead of telling your mother that your wife would frown at her for feeding your children with sweet foods, you can tell her instead that you and your wife have decided not to feed your children with sweet food, so that they can be of optimum health.
Communicating your feelings and opinions to both your mother and wife helps in cementing the bond between them. Using words like “we,” “our,” and “us,” helps your mother understand how you view your wife. This would make it difficult for your mother to go against your decision while she would see your wife in a good light.
Family Hangouts should be well structured in a way that both your mother and wife would be incorporated. It is ideal to allow both women in your life to handle events together, if there’s any hope that they would enjoy hanging out together. Flattering both would go a long way in encouraging them to be better friends. Furthermore, appreciate the input of your wife and mother both separately and together. Get them to make meals together and tell them how sweet it is, when they do things together.
The truth is the agreement you had with your wife is to live as her partner whatever may come, till the end of time. Let both your wife and mother know their boundaries and what they ought to do and not do to make them have a lasting relationship.