Friendzone HQ #3 By @Tomilola_coco

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Friendzone HQ

Hey guys, today is Abibat’s birthday and even though I have never met her she is one of my most consistent and kindest Readers. And because of that, I’d post another episode of Friendzone HQ this evening. Please drop your Happy Birthday wishes for her in the comment section, it is the nice thing to do and we’d all do the same for you too (So please, please be nice LOl). Happy birthday, Abibat! ❤


“Stop being a fucking asshole is what I said!” But she might as well have uttered the words to an empty room because they came back to her, unanswered.

Her eyes searched his, looking for answers and trying to deduce what had gone wrong with him.

He used to be more feeling, more reasonable and more sensitive. What had happened to him when he traveled outside the country? What had transformed him into this person who played childish games that now threatened to hurt others?

“It is not that deep, Oyin” He replied as if his actions had not just caused someone to land in the ICU some minutes before. He was unruffled, unperturbed by the current situation and with the way he stood there, his hands firmly thrust in the pockets of his well-tailored navy blue buba and sokoto, he was never going to see anything wrong with what he did.

“He is in the ICU cause of what you did.”

“Cause of what he wanted to do, don’t let’s get in our feelings here”

“Oh” was all the response she could give before Adaeze joined them where they were standing outside the Hospital building. Ada tried to hand them cups of coffee while at the same time trying to take her space near Segun but she might as well have been invincible because they barely acknowledged her.

“Your boyfriend is going crazy and I won’t be part of this stupid game he is playing” Oyin said before she stormed into the Hospital without collecting the cup of coffee in Ada’s hands.

And all the words Oyin uttered might as well have been for someone else because Segun began to make for the exit that moment, as if oblivious of Ada’s presence.

“Segun” Ada called and he barely glanced in her direction as he made for his car. “Segun, wait” she said to him when she caught up with him.

He looked at her, an impatient look in his eyes. He was also clearly exhausted, a result of all the games they had played that night and that had landed Kolapo in the Hospital.

“Yes?” He was definitely not in the mood to talk. If Oyin felt she could pin Kolapo’s unfortunate situation on him then she had to be as crazy as she was trying to make him.

“What’s going on with you, Segun?” Ada was asking now, the two cups of steaming coffee in both hands as she looked at him with worried eyes.

“Can everyone stop hinting that I’m mad?” He was really being pushed to the wall with that question. It had come in various ways since he arrived from the UK. Are you okay, Segun? Segun this is not you, what went wrong? Hmm Segun you sure say everything dey alright?

He was honestly reaching his limit where the question was concerned and if they did not stop soon he was going to scream.

“I don’t think you’re mad”

“Then get in and let me drop you off at yours”

Adaeze lingered on the spot, even when he got into his car and started his engine.

“Aunty, are you going to get inside or do I have to write an official letter?” He was irritated at her and everyone else to be honest. Everyone including Oyin. That Kolapo dude had brought the incident that happened hours earlier upon himself, why he was the devil was what he was yet to realize.

Ada hurried to the car, the paper cups containing coffee still in her hands.

“Are you going to toss that out or are you going to carry them like sacrifices?” He asked, looking at the cups in her hands.

“Sorry” She said and threw them out through the window.

As she rolled up the glass and he locked the door, he began to play an old Stevie Wonder song.

And Adaeze knew better than to say anything.

Joining the few cars that were still on the road at that late hour, Segun made for Adaeze’s parents’ house in Ikoyi.

Ada, the fifth of six children was born to the owner of one of the biggest car dealerships in Lagos.

With an Ivy League education and access to everything she ever wanted, Ada grew up privileged, rich and spoilt.

She was also fun, when he had first met her, it had been at a Karaoke bar in Victoria Island. She had been dressed in a skimpy lace dress that did nothing to hide her toned legs.

What had drawn him to her initially was how much he thought those legs reminded him of Beyonce’s; they were “bow but not bow” and they looked beautiful in the blue converse she had on her legs.

He remembered telling Oyin later that her “bow but not bow legs” had been the instant attraction. Then, when she had gotten on the stage, plastic cup in hand while she rapped one Eazy E and one Tupac song like she had been in the studio when the songs were recorded, she had instantly won his heart.

They smoked weed and drank in their VIP section of the Karaoke bar all night and the same night they ended up at his.

They did not have sex that night, neither did they after two months but they did the craziest things he had done with anyone else in his life.

And that was why he had thought they would make a great pair, it was why he wanted to be with her so bad at the time.

“Why can’t we go to yours?” She asked as he approached a bend that led to her well-guarded street.

“Not tonight”

“But I want to be with you.” Her soft hand was on the nape of his neck now, gently massaging it and making its way to a sensitive part of his ear.

He knew what she was trying to do and he was not about to fall for it.

“Ada, stop it”

She looked at him, a look of genuine innocence on her face, “What?” she asked.

He knew her well to know she was feigning that look and the question and he knew her well to know she would have her way with him if he did not get rid of her soon enough.

But he was too late with whatever he wanted to do because her other hand had found its way to his sokoto and her head was now trying to join that hand.

He swerved, spotting a ditch in the middle of the road too late but she still did not seem bothered.

He shut his eyes tightly, there was no stopping her tonight.


She did not respond to him, at least not with her mouth because that was busy doing something else.

Slamming his leg on the brake, he pulled over to a side of the street. “Fine, have it your way” he said. “But get in the backseat because that’s where we are doing it”

And as he pulled her into the backseat and pulled down her jeans, he knew he was going to screw her with all the frustration and anger of the night.

And he honestly did not care.

Fuck Oyin, fuck Ada, fuck everyone.

He was really pissed.


Kolapo awkwardly made his way into the house and took a seat on the old sofa near Segun. The latter crossed his leg, revealing a brown sandal that was a signature of one of the best Designers in Lagos and one which was part of a limited edition only a few people had.

“So Kolapo, what do you do?” Segun asked him, a warm smile on his face.

“I’m a Doctor”

“Oh, same Hospital?”

Kolapo nodded and Segun directed his gaze to Oyin.

“You’ve never told me about Kolapo, Oyin. Is he a close friend?”

Oyin eyed him and grabbed the two bottles of wine they had brought, “Are you jealous someone would take your position?” She inquired as she made for the Kitchen.

Segun chuckled and then faced Kolapo, “Nobody can take my position o, the girl just likes to show herself”

Kolapo laughed uneasily, he was almost certain his nervousness was playing out like a movie on the big screen but he could not help himself. He just felt uncomfortable around the Segun guy.

Oyin returned, a corkscrew in hand and Kolapo’s wine in the other hand. “I figured we would drink KP’s wine first”

“Because, save best for the last things” Segun said and winked.

“Stop being a goat, Segun” Oyin snapped, opened the wine and poured each of them a glass. She took a seat on the cushioned rug, facing both men in her small but cozy sitting room and knowing fully well that if she did not do something about Segun, he was going to make Kolapo feel out of place the entire night.

It was not something he did on purpose sometimes, it was just how he tended to be when he met another male around her.

It was not jealousy, they had discussed it a couple of times. It was more of him being overprotective and more of him looking out for her.

But she did not want him to do that to Kolapo, he was no suitor and she certainly did not want Segun to intimidate him.

“I can handle myself” Kolapo suddenly said, downing an entire glass of wine and stretching his glass out for Oyin to refill.

Kolapo knew that he could be nervous but he could not stand a woman fighting his battles for him. Call it ego or whatever but he did not want Oyin trying to protect him from the Segun guy.

Initially when he had walked into the house and had taken a seat near Segun, he had busied himself with taking another look at the interior of the apartment.

It was not his first time there but each time he came, the place seemed more interesting to him.

It was a mini flat in Igbo Efon; with a small sitting room and a small bedroom, the house was perfect for a young woman like Oyin.

The house smelt of strawberry which was Oyin’s preferred flavor and fragrance and her family’s picture was hung on the wall above the TV.

There was a sofa which he was currently sitting on and a chaise lounge on the other side, both of which had once belonged to her late father and were way older than her.

The coffee table was also once his and so was the flower vase that sat on it.

She had kept every part of him that she could when he passed and it was the reason he was so alive in her apartment.

And for some reason, he liked to experience the whole place like it was the first time every time he stepped in.

And that was why that night, he had done the same thing seconds before Segun started a conversation with him. And now that he had mentioned he could fight his own battles, he could see an amusing look on the other guy’s face.

“Looks like you got yourself a feisty one. I’m impressed” Segun said, the twinkle in his eyes revealing mockery rather than fascination. He was certainly not in the least bit impressed. Kolapo knew he could not quit, not yet. He had started this and he had to win it and he was going to need his alcohol to keep him going.

“Okay, let’s play a game of how well you know Oyin” Segun suddenly said. He had no idea why he had said that but maybe he did because Kolapo felt so confident about handling himself where he was concerned.

Oyin meant a lot to Segun, once upon a time she had been the most important female in his life and he had gone out of his way to protect her.

And even though he knew he was about to cross the line between being protective and being an asshole, he also wanted to be certain the guy sitting near him in a shirt he looked like he had hurriedly ironed deserved his Oyin.

Thing was if anyone asked him, he did not think he did.

Dude was nervous, actually the only thing remaining for him to do was to shiver. And if Segun knew anything about Oyin, it was that she was one tough cookie. A guy like Kolapo could not hold her down when push came to shove.

So if the guy was not going to toughen up, he and his cheap wine, then he had to be shown the door.

And he was going to ensure that soon enough.

“We are not playing any foolish game abeg.” Oyin retorted, pouring Kolapo yet another glass. She was worried about him, it was the fourth time he was refilling his glass that night and he had been the only one refilling since they started their conversation.

“We are” Kolapo replied, “Game on”

Segun smiled, that sinister smile Oyin knew too well and that she dreaded. It always meant one thing – mischief.

“Great. Oyin please ask the questions…”

Oyin’s phone suddenly rang, causing her to momentarily ignore the two men in front of her and give her iPhone her attention. It was Adaeze. After she had seen her earlier, Ada had promised to come over to hers so they could talk more. She (Ada) had an event she had to attend and she was going to see Oyin after then to hear what direction her conversation with Segun went.

Picking the call, Oyin was suddenly grateful she did not have to be alone with the two grown men acting like five year olds in her apartment. She raced to the door and let Ada in.

“Ahn ahn there is a party going on here?” She glanced at Oyin who was locking the door behind her, “Why didn’t you tell me, Sly”

“That’s because both of them surprised me with themselves.”

Ada flopped into the chaise lounge, kicking of her red soles and grabbing the half empty bottle of wine. She took a quick gulp and looked from Segun to Kolapo.


The duo responded to her greeting, Segun still retaining the creepy smile he had on his face.

“Now that Ada is here, I think she can help us with that game. She asks the questions, Oyin tells us if we are correct”

Segun went ahead to hurriedly explain the game to Ada who became enthusiastic immediately she heard the rules of the game.

“Get a sheet and pen, Oyin. You’d scribble the answer once I ask the question and if any of them gets it wrong, they drink wine. Ten questions. We’re starting now”

And even though Oyin desperately wanted to nip the whole thing in the bud she knew it was too late.

“Oyin’s best color?”

“Yellow” Kolapo said.

And that was how the game started and eventually Kolapo started to lose and had to empty the bottle of wine Segun brought while everyone else still had their first glass untouched.

And when he finished, Segun insisted on them going further.

“No more alcohol na” Ada mentioned, pointing to the empty wine bottles

“I have Vodka in my car”

And by the time the night was drawing to a close, Kolapo stood, staggered and collapsed into the sofa.

Horrified, Oyin screamed and looked at Segun, accusation evident in her eyes.

But because he was not one to own up for something he did not do, Segun refused to feel guilty.


The perks of being a Doctor was that you could walk into the ward your relation or friend was and not be treated like the average relation/friend.

Oyin strolled into the ward where Kolapo was, slightly relieved that he was conscious and better than when he had been rushed in.

While she was outside the building, she had somehow had a taste of what family members of patients went through when they brought their loved ones to the Hospital and she had made a mental note to be kinder the next time.

Now as Kolapo smiled at her, she felt way better than when she heard he was conscious.

“I just embarrassed myself in front of the girl I really like” He said to her, his hands holding hers.

Oyin finally confirmed what she feared all night; Kolapo was into her.

She did not know what to make of that and she did not know what to do about it, but she knew for sure that she did not feel that way about him.

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay” She muttered.

“Please Oyin I need to ask you a favour” He said to her, a serious look on his face.


“Please go on a date with me”

As much as she did not want to lead him on, she also knew it would be insensitive of her to decline. So she replied, “Sure.”

The smile that followed her response was contagious and she found herself smiling because he was smiling, the smile spreading through her face rapidly like a wildfire in Harmattan.






Content Writer|Screenwriter|Coke Addict|Feminist|Amala Activist|Future Hero. Twitter&Instagram @Tomilola_coco


  1. Thank you all and my darling Tomi I am very very grateful you have made my day twice already today and I can’t wait to meet you in person.
    Trust I always enjoy whatever you write.

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