No matter how faithful you are, you’ve been tempted to cheat one time or the other. It could be with someone at work, someone you saw at the mall or someone you were introduced to in a religious house. The truth is you love your spouse and definitely don’t want to cheat on them but you find this new person interesting because they have an air of mysticism that arouses your curiosity enough to dream of having sex with them.
Well, a lot of us might face a scenario like this and irrespective of how terrible we feel about ourselves, it’s completely normal for some of these things to come up. The truth is we are created to be sexual and it seems the more we try to resist what we feel, the worse of we are.
If you however constantly feel the urge to cheat more often than you know is normal, you should never consider doing it but instead take a cue from these five tips which we hope can help you put your cheating urge in check.
Get An Appropriate Definition Of Cheating
It’s best you and your partner decide what you think is cheating in your own context. The truth is both you and your partner may think of cheating in different ways and you may just be shocked at what your partner considers as cheating.
A recent study published in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences concluded that men tend to be more jealous of sexual cheating while women were more jealous of emotional cheating. As a result, you and your partner getting a clear definition of what you consider as cheating would go a long way in curtailing cheating.
Never Be Ashamed Of Your Thoughts or Feelings
This might sound strange but the first step to ensuring that you put your cheating thoughts in check is not to be ashamed to admit your feelings to yourself. The truth is you may hate yourself for feeling the temptation to cheat on your partner but knowing that it will come will help you to deal better with it. Accept the thoughts but never act on them.
Never Fake It
The sooner you realise it takes too much energy to cheat, the better for you. It’s better you channel that energy into making your partner know your true feelings while appreciating them more. Simply let your partner know the things that make you happy and contribute in whatever way you can to make your relationship a happy one.
Convert Your Drive To Cheat Into Your Relationship
Instead of thinking that your thoughts of cheating would make you cheat and drive you away from your partner, you can decide to convert that thought into your relationship. The simple fact that you feel the urge to cheat may be an indication that that the spark in your relationship needs to be reignited.
You can reignite the spark by thinking of what attracts you to the person you’re tempted to cheat with, which your partner is lacking. Is it that you crave more attention and love? If that’s the case, it may be you’re tempted to cheat simply because the person you’re tempted to cheat with is a mirror reflection of the things you miss and crave to have back. You may want to consider telling your partner the things you wish to have back and this may go a long way in helping you.
Let Your Relationship Adjust
If both you and your partner stay true to yourselves, chances are the both of you would realise what your expectations are and adjust as necessary. A lot of the time, dishonesty regarding our emotional or sexual needs, start because we are scared of losing our partners and this creates a cheating problem in future. The truth however is that it’s never too late to be honest with your partner. If you’re sure you want another sexual partner, it’s ideal you let your partner know. They may or may not agree to it.
If you discover that what you need does not conform with those of your partner, then you may want to consider taking the tough choice of quitting. No one is to blame in this situation. It may just be time to move on to another relationship with the experience you’ve gained.
If you find yourself tempted to cheat with someone other than your partner, relax. This doesn’t make you a bad person. Just take your time and think of why you’re thinking the way you are and let your partner in on it. Let them know what you’d like your relationship to have, so as not to betray the trust they have in you.