I Wish My Husband Death For Infecting My Unborn Baby With An STD
I read this true life story somewhere and I felt compelled to share as the thorns of infidelity cuts deep…
My husband and I had been trying for a child for the past seven years since we’ve been married. My husband was patient with me, he had been supportive through the trying period of looking for a child. We both went for medical examination and we are both fine so we just kept on having sex and faithfully believing we would have a child soon.
Despite how long it took me to conceive, I went to bed many nights praying with my husband. He prayed with me too. He even attends vigils with me in hopes that we would have a child soon.
In the seventh year of trying for a child, I took in. I was ecstatic and so was my husband. I was so into prepping for my new born, I didn’t even pay attention to the signs of infidelity on my hubby’s part.
One night I was feeling so sick I had to be rushed to the hospital, I wasn’t due for delivery for the next two months so I wasn’t worried about birthing, I was worried about why I was suddenly feeling sick.
I had my baby that night, at seven months, he was born premature, and he died that day.
When the doctor called my husband away from my side, I was too tired so I slept off, I later awoke to a slight shove, upon opening my eyes, I saw tears in my husbands eyes, he had been crying. I started up but the pain in my abdomen sent me back to the bed, the doctor told me to take it easy, just lay down and listen to what my husband had to say. I was nervous. I had just lost my baby, I was going through that stress, I really didn’t need another, but the doctor insisted, so I listened; I listened to my husband confess that he had been unfaithful while we were married and looking to conceive.
He said it was a mistake. That he was depressed and stressed out about the pressure to have a child, I was in tears cos I didn’t know what he was also going through, looking back now, I almost forgave him. The doctor prompted him to continue and he went on his knees, heads bowed, tears rolling down his eyes and he couldn’t bring himself to say what he needed to, and the doctor spoke on his behalf. I had been infected with Gonorrhea which had been left untreated and had infected my baby’s blood. And that’s the reason why my baby died. It was the worst day of my life.
My amazing baby boy had caught an STD (Gonorrhea) that caused him a life-threatening blood infection: an STD which I had contracted through my husband. While I was pregnant, happy to have made a baby with the man I loved most in the world, he was sleeping with another woman and didn’t even protect himself. He didn’t even think of protecting me and our baby.
Right now, with everything that has happened between us, I can’t help but wonder if he really prayed we had a child together. I can’t help but doubt every thing he ever said to me. While I was crying myself to night everyday to have a baby for my husband, he was creeping with another woman. All those late nights, all the out-of-state business meetings, I had to mentally cross-check every single lie he has told me since he made the revelation that he cheated while we were married and infected my baby with an STD.
This days I live in limbo. I act fugued. I keep wondering what went wrong? What did I do? or What could I have done different?
Most nights since I lost my baby, I have thought of killing my husband and on some days, I think I might just act on the impulse. I don’t even care if I have to go to jail or whatever, I just hate my husband so much I want to kill him.
I spend my days and nights after being discharged in my dead baby’s room, crying myself to sleep, no one could help me, no one could save me. Everyday is a struggle.
I lost a child I had wanted for seven years all for few minutes of infidelity from my husband. I am angry about so many things but what breaks my heart the most, is that he didn’t protect himself thereby putting me at risk. It hurts so much. No one understands just how much it hurts.