Hey guys, I know this should be the finale of Sugar Daddy Chronicles seeing as the previous episode was semi finale but I have been writing for days and it did not feel right to end in this episode and when it comes to my work, when it does not feel right, I ensure I do it right (y’all already know this). It would however definitely end in the next episode.
Meanwhile, the Fashion Haul giveaway is on now. Please go to @Fashionhaulng on Instagram and follow and then, do the following;
- Follow on Instagram, then tag five friends to follow.
- Repost the giveaway with the hashtag Fashionhaulgiveaway and tag Fashionhaulng in the post.
- The people with the highest number of likes stand a chance of winning the most fabulous wigs and purses. And guys get to win shoes too.
You’d love the gifts, guys. Let’s do this! Meanwhile, new series commences immediately after SDC ends. Thank you guys for the amazing ride and for those who never stop stalking me on Instagram and Twitter, I love eet! I love you!
The very messed up bitch or something like that…
Five years ago, if I had been told to imagine what my life would look like, I would never at any point have imagined being where I presently was.
All I would have seen would have been money; millions of it, fancy cars, a nice house with a great view and maybe a few domestic staff waiting on me.
It was what the me in my early twenties would have wanted.
But that was not the me that I had become.
There was money and there was one fancy car and a nice apartment but there was also a baby; an unplanned baby.
“Lolo” I glued my eyes to the birds idly perching on my closest neighbour’s roof, refusing to look back and stare into the face of the father of my child.
When I had met Cherokee months before, the plan was to feel good about myself by restarting my Sugar Daddy business and forgetting Steve.
But the plan had gone out of control, one bad sex had been able to get me pregnant and here I was with a child I knew deep down I was never going to be ready for.
“Don’t abort the baby” my silence stretched on longer than the lonely nights I had now imposed on myself. His hands found mine, holding on to me even when I tried to set free. “Lolo, don’t abort my baby”
I shut my eyes tightly, the pain taking over me; I had outdone myself this time around.
“I am not ready for it and you already have two children. What do you need a third one for?” I asked, looking from the birds to him.
That turned out to be a bad idea because then, I could see the sadness which had now become his eyes and the pain which seemed to be heavy in those eyes.
“The fact that I have two children does not mean I should now remove the one I have coming on the way na, Lolo.” He inched closer, “There is the money to take care of him or her…”
“I don’t need your money! I don’t need your fucking money” I snapped, snatched my hand off his and stormed to the closet.
For the first time in my life, money seemed not to be able to solve a problem.
Or maybe it could? I mean, paying a good Doctor for an abortion was certainly a problem money could fix.
“I would make sure no Doctor in this Lagos does that abortion, Lolo.”
I hissed, “And if I go outside Lagos for it what would you do? In fact I am going out of Lagos for this abortion that will happen no matter what”
I was grabbing dresses, shoes, purses and fragrances now. Looking around the room for the closest traveling box, I carried some of the clothes and dumped it in the nearest one I could find.
“Why do you hate me so much” He asked and if I did not know better, I would have thought I imagined the fact that his voice was breaking.
I looked into his eyes and saw a devastated and heartbroken man and that made me feel awful.
All of my life, I had been the woman who never fell in love with anyone but had a lot of people falling for her.
I had left a line of heartbroken men in my trail and even though it was something that never bothered me in my early twenties, these days it made me feel awful.
He raised a hand to stop me, “If you will not answer my question, do not say anything.”
I nodded and looked away, my eyes falling on the remaining clothes that lay around my recently pedicured feet.
The only thing bright about me that moment was the shining red polish on my toe nails, nothing else.
My life seemed to be currently traveling down a never ending dark tunnel; I was fucked up, I was like a soap that had run on for too long; I was tired.
“I love you”
The words hung in the air for a very long time and as if he knew I would never be able to return those words the way he wanted to hear them, he added “I know you will never love me but I love you.”
God the tears were gathering and they were threatening to fall.
“I love you even though I know you slept with that Steve boy while my baby was growing inside of you, I love you even though I know you will leave me alone and run away, I love you even though my family does not want me to. I love you even though I know you will never love me back.” He crossed the small space between us and stopped right beside me, “I love you even though you want to remove my child, you the only woman that I have loved after my late wife.”
He was holding me close now, hugging me tightly as if his existence depended on the embrace.
The tears were going to fall any minute but I was certain I did not want him to see me cry. I did not want him to know my world was falling apart and I had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
I pushed him away from me, ran out of the bedroom, down the stairs, completely blinded by the tears that were now falling freely, totally ignorant of where I was headed and the stairs that my bare feet descended through.
I suddenly missed a step and crashed into the Help who was carrying a tray of food.
The last thing I remembered before I passed out were the words, I love you even though I know you would never love me back.
Hospitals and their smells were supposed to be the diagnosis for something.
God, I hated the smell of a Hospital and as I slowly became conscious of my environment, I wished someone had allowed me to come to on their couch or in their bed, somewhere far away from the walls of a Hospital.
Kofo had always mentioned to me that the smell was an illusion because according to her, most Hospitals did not have the smell I had attributed to them as a kid.
She simply felt it was something I allowed my subconscious to conjure.
Talking about Kofo, there she was standing by my bed and making a call in a very low voice.
My mother was standing by her side, very quiet and near Chimezie who looked at me with worried eyes.
It felt like everyone stopped breathing that very moment and faced me instantly, “Kelechi!” my mother called, relief audible in her voice. “Kelechi how are you my daughter?” She raised her hands up dramatically and added, “Ha Chineke thank you! Oluwa seun! This is a testimony!”
“Mummy I just fainted, which one is a testimony inside this one now?” I asked looking from her to Chimezie who for some reason did not look like he was willing to talk.
“Ehn, there is testimony o! Some people slept and did not wake up you’re there saying rubbish”
I wanted to point out to her that I did not sleep but there was absolutely no point arguing with my mother, at least not in this situation. I was never going to win.
“How are you feeling?” Kofo was asking now, her hands running through my body as if she could fix whatever the problem was if I had one.
“I’m fine” I said.
“Mummy, Kofo I have to go now. Now that I am satisfied she is fine and the Doctor says she is okay, I have to go. I have business to attend to.” Chimezie was saying all he was without paying me any attention.
“Thank you so much! God bless you Sir” My mother was saying to him, “God will repay you”
“The Driver would pick you when you’re fine and the Doctor says it is okay to discharge you.” Chimezie said to me as he made for the door, “Goodbye”
There was a note of finality in his voice as he marched out of the room and stepped outside.
I wanted to call him back but I was not sure what to say to him.
Was I still pregnant though?
For some reason, panic seared through me like the cracks on a broken mirror.
Was I still going to be a mom?
I knew I wanted to abort the child so bad but I had not meant for that fall to happen.
“He is a wonderful man” My mother said to nobody in particular, then she faced me and said, “He is a wonderful man”
I heard her clearly the first time and I was not really interested in the adjectives she had chosen to describe him.
“Thank God the baby is fine sha. But na wa o Kaycee, when were you going to mention you were preggers?” Kofo had an accusing look on her face.
My mother nodded, “True. Igba wo lo to fe so pe o loyun? O kuku ni pa mi.” She hissed as she took a seat opposite me in the large hospital room.
I ignored both of them and shut my eyes tightly, baby was fine.
Everything was fine for now.
I had not seen him in two weeks. Not since I found out I was pregnant with another man’s child and he had been extremely mad at me.
But there he was now, in front of me on a short queue in Shoprite nodding in response to something a light skinned girl with hair that ran up to her butt and with lips like Kylie Jenner’s was saying.
She seemed excited to be talking to him, her hands describing every word she uttered and her being seemingly enamored by his mere presence.
Kofo used to say that a woman could know if another woman was going to fall in love with her man simply by staring at them when they were talking and even though Steve was not my man, I could see that happening right now.
He suddenly turned back and saw me, his eyes deader than the leaves in harmattan season and the coldness suddenly threatened to decrease the temperature.
His gaze held mine, unflinching, unperturbed by the people around us and totally ignorant of Kylie Jenner who I could sense was now tracing his eyes to mine.
I mouthed his name because it was basically the only thing I could do and the only thing I had the strength to do.
But he stared back as if I wasn’t there and as if I had not just made the effort to say his name the only way I could.
My feet curled in my favorite Zanotti slippers and my fingers tightened on the trolley I was pushing. I suddenly felt naked, felt unprotected and felt like Tupac because then, I could swear all eyes were on me.
“Stevo!” A voice sounded behind me and the owner breezed past as he marched towards Steve and his Kylie lookalike companion. Steve shook hands with him and just like that, I was cropped out of their lives like an unwanted part of a picture.
Thing was as much as it made me feel horrible, it was probably the best thing for us.
He had wanted us to be together but I had been too pregnant to make that dream come true.
The memories of the day I had realized I was pregnant came rushing back now as I pushed my trolley a bit closer to the counter.
We had been in his room after returning from Ekiti where he had come to pick me and where he had made a call to AKT telling him they had to see.
We’d been watching Straight Outta Compton on Home box office and there had been a sudden surge of nausea that overwhelmed me and caused me to tighten my grip on his hands.
“Kaycee, are you okay?” He’d asked me but the only answer I could give had been my lunch rushing through my mouth and on his expensive leopard skin duvet.
And as Suge Knight shocked the shit out of us by beating the crap out of an innocent man who’d unknowingly parked in his space, it suddenly occurred to me that the dizzy spells coupled with the nausea could mean something, a life changing situation.
And so, while Steve was muttering for me to be calm, I said to him, “I need to take a pregnancy test”
He’d stared long and hard at me and then had said the longest “okay” I had ever heard anyone utter.
When we found out I was pregnant, he’d simply smiled and refused to say much to me.
He had not said anything to me since that day and from the look of things it seemed like he’d never say anything to me.
“Is your POS working?” I asked the Cashier as she unloaded my trolley and checked the prices of my items.
“Yes ma” she replied and as I fished inside my purse for my ATM card, I noticed Steve had left.
That made my heart break into tiny little pieces but hey, it was for the best.
I was two months pregnant, I was going to be a mom and I was going to be happy.
The driver Chimezie had employed for the purpose of transporting me anywhere I wanted was waiting at the car park when I emerged with shopping bags minutes later.
As instructed by Chimezie, he wanted to go everywhere with me to help me with everything but truth was I couldn’t let him do that.
I was pregnant not disabled.
“Welcome madam” He said as he collected everything I was carrying, opened the car and placed it all in the backseat.
Then, in the fastest time I had ever seen, he opened the Passenger’s seat for me.
After he shut the door, he hurriedly got into his own seat and turned the AC on full blast.
It was the way I liked the temperature, the way I had wanted it for weeks now.
He also knew what I wanted to listen to because it was the only music I had been able to listen to for days.
“Chris Brown” he said and I nodded.
And as we sped out of the parking lot, Don’t Judge Me began to play, Chris Brown’s voice soothing my nerves and calming me for the thousandth time in days.
If anyone wanted to judge me based on who I was or that I had become, then that was their business.
But I was not going to revisit the past and dwell on it.
Call me Christiana Brown or whatever, but I refused to be judged.
PS: Guys I just saw a real life LJP outside my friend’s house in Lekki and he has this crazy ass fast and furious car! I’ve been by the gate stalking and hoping to see him again so I can take a picture. Best believe I’d share it!
PPS: He would make for one hot sugar daddy!