Freaky Friday: 5 Reasons Why He Won’t Eat Your P

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Ladies love cunnilingus which by the way is the proper name for “p eating” and just in case you love to be eaten down there here are 5 Reasons he might choose to pass on that.  

Though not all, most women love to have a man get down on them and just eat that p up like its made of strawberry and chocolate with skittles as topping.

Yes, they love it and they love any man who can take them to the edge of orgasm by working magic on that veejayjay.

Freaky deals on the 5 reasons he won’t eat your P, ranging from foul body or vaginal odor, to overgrown pubic hair, dirty skin to so much more, read on.

As much as you want your man to eat your p, he may have his reservations. Reasons from your physical appearance, to his emotional or psychological state of mind can make him remain as far away from that spot as you want him near.

I had a conversation with a client today and he kept on reiterating why he hated giving a girl head. He said that most ladies of nowadays are so untrustworthy you couldn’t tell if a dick just left her p and your mouth is going there next.

The thought made me cringe

He talked about a nasty experience he had

I had this girl I liked and I was already working out things for both of us to be exclusive. In a game of stupid male jesting, I had placed a bet with a friend that he couldn’t bag her, and he did.

The day she went to sleep with him, I called her after she left his place, and invited her over. I was so vexed cos I knew she had just got fucked by my friend and I wanted  to see her face and just cuss her out. She got to my place and I made a move on her, she didn’t even refuse, I mean, this was a girl that just got fucked less than 2 hours ago by another guy and she was all ready for me to do her again. When I asked her if she wanted head, she said yes, in my mind I was like “wtf, hell no”.

I instantly hated her, I asked her to dress up and leave. Since that day, I always imagine another dick just left the p anytime I think of going down on any girl and it’s just a disgusting thought. I think I have cunnilingus-phobia (if there’s any word like that). Asides a girl I really trust or my wife, I don’t think I’ll go down on any girl”

As much as I empathize with him, I must defend the others that will be missing out on such a great time if he doesn’t change his mind soon. Yes, she was wrong, but you can’t hold a grudge against the veejajay you know?

Some guys are aware of the health implications of vaginal eating (cancer of the throat) so they try to reduce the risk of catching HPV, Human Papillomavirus, which is a common virus contracted through cunnilingus.

According to the “Presently, nearly 80 million people, that is, 1 in 4 people are currently infected in the United States”



  • BODY  ODOUR  –  It hurts to want to get down on a girl only to meet a foul odor on emanating from her skin. If she smells that bad outside, he doesn’t want to find out how bad she smells inside. Ever heard a hand break turn? detour please.
  • REMEDY – A woman must always make an effort to look and smell good especially if she is sexually active to avoid having a bad smell. Invest in a medicated or scented soap or bath wash, have your shower at least twice a day, always shave your pits, and pubic hair, wax if and when necessary, and get a good body fragrance.



  •  PUBIC HAIR – YOU’RE NOT A BABOON, SHAVE IT!! – a guy confided in me that its so un-comfy for a guy when he has pubic  hair rubbing against his mouth or facial skin when he has to go down on a girl, it takes away the fun as he might need a toothpick afterwards to get the hair out, lol” . True though, some girls keep pubic hair like it’s an invest in the human hair market. If you want him to eat your p and enjoy it, scrape that shit.
  • REMEDY – Always, always, make a date with your vaginal hair. Spend some alone time scraping that bad boy off so it doesn’t hinder your journey to wonderland. While some might argue between using shavers or hair removal creams, the point is to use whatever product works for you to achieve the desired result, which is a cleanly shaved vjayjay.


One secret to perfect oral sensation is a smooth vjayjay as it allows the pleasure to be felt from all the nerves lining that region making it one hella ride.


  •  GENERAL HYGIENE – UH, SMELL NICE OR GOODBYE!! –  while a guy just wants to eat that p, he also wants a girl who  pays attention to her general  hygiene which includes her breathe, ensuring there are no vegetables stuck in her teeth or onion, garlic or fish breathe oozing outta somewhere.
  • REMEDY – It’s all about looking the part. You want to look clean and not shabby, fresh and not clammy, nice and not nasty. Invest in some hand sanitizers, they smell nice and make  your palm feel soft, almost perfect for holding his down while he’s all up in your p.


  • VAGINAL ODOUR – A MILLION SHADES OF NASTY!! – ”I was about to get down on this chick sometime last month, so I started off fingering her and was horrified when I brought my finger out. The smell was utterly putrid, I had to stick the finger into her mouth so she could taste how badly she smelt. It was a million shades of nasty. I had to ask her to go shower before we continued” – just like this experience narrated, vaginal odor is a huge turn off for men. It’s equivalent to going down on a guy whose dick smells like fish pie.
  • REMEDY – Whatever you do, don’t douche. The vagina releases its own self-cleaning minerals which enables it wash off bacteria naturally. Any un-natural products you use only  those more harm than good to your vagina.
  • Wash your p with mildly hot water at least twice a week. Open that vulva and let the hot water slide in (it’s a nice feeling too), using just your hands. Or you could spice it up by asking your partner to wash your veejayjay, it’s sexy as hell.

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  •  DON’T OVERUSE PERFUMES ON YOUR P – YOU CAN’T HIDE THAT SMELL – so you might try to mask by using perfumes to make the vjayjay smell nice, cool, but you should also know that guys can separate the original p smell from perfumed p smell.
  • REMEDY – If you must spray your pubic region, withdraw hands far from the pubic region, at least an arms length,  spray and walk into the spritz. It should have a faint fragrance which gives off a pleasant redolence, as the mixture of p fragrance and slight scent can be extremely sensual.




Photo Credit: findmemes||xpressmag

Wendiva Blaze

Wendiva Blaze

I'm just a vibe you won't find anywhere else. That Sanguine Sapio-sexual. I Love 360nobs Pop Culture Journalist/ Publicist/ Presenter


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