Tomilola’s Take: He Was Wrong So Why Is She Paying For It?
When a man is wrong in Nigeria, his woman, pays for it.
Before you go ahead and disagree, recent cases of troubled celebrity marriages a la Toke Makinwa/Maje Ayida and Toyin Aimakhu/Adeniyi Johnson is a clear indication of this.
If you still don’t believe, argue with your ancestors.
When news broke that Maje Ayida had stepped out on his marriage with Toke and knocked someone else up, everyone went crazy on him.
Some people turned his Instagram account to their house and started living there.
They hurled insults, curses and reminded him every passing minute what a scum he was.
And while everyone was thinking, “well he deserves every insult” the insults started to reduce and before we could say Okobioko, Toke was being “warned” to go back to her husband’s house.
Fast forward to Toyin Aimakhu’s own version of celebrity marriage drama, her husband softened the effect of the blow dealt us by the marriage troubles.
He came out and confessed to flirting with an employee of his wife’s shortly after the news broke.
But thing is, Toyin had reportedly packed out of the house before then.
She was mad, hurt and clearly and understandably angry.
But did majority of the people who commented under her and her husband’s Instagram posts agree? No.
They expected Toyin to forgive and forget and move back into her husband’s house before another woman takes her place.
Now, that’s the ridiculousness that is most Nigerians’ mindset about marriage and unfortunately, a huge part of our culture.
Women are supposed to have a short time to get over the hurt caused by their spouses (some don’t even get the time), and they’re expected to move on because, all men cheat.
I am not sure why a lot of people think cheating is not a deal breaker in marriages or why a woman is expected to close her eyes to cheating so that another woman does not take her place.
But, I am certain that this is bullshit and it needs to go away.
Screw the marriage if all the man can do is sample different Ps outside and expect to still be forgiven.
And screw the marriage if the woman is not expected to heal in due time just so that “another woman won’t take her place”.
And can those people who post insensitive comments about Celebrities stop already? Abi who do we want to blame that stupidity on? Buhari again?
PS: The Guardian reportedly said Toyin felt sorry for reacting the way she did after her husband flirted with another woman, I’d like to think that’s not true.
Because then, I’d begin to worry. And we all should.