Honorable Secretary #11 (Abuja Medicine) By @maskuraid

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Abuja was crazy. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy myself and forget about the troubles waiting in Lagos, I also made a new friend. After that first contact, Japhet stuck to me like glue and we did virtually everything together, everything.  I tried to create some distance but he just wasn’t having it, dude liked my company and there was nothing I could do about it. The evening before my departure for Lagos, he invited me for a night out on the town to celebrate the workshop’s success and our new found ‘friendship’.  Caution and self- preservation meanwhile had kept me from telling him we lived within the same Estate in Lagos and since he also didn’t tell me he was married or even had any connection with ‘Gidi, I felt justified.

“Guy let’s hit town. There’s somewhere I’ll like to take you before you head back to your boring Lagos.”

“Booze again? I’m tired biko. All the shacks in this world will not make me leave this hotel today, I want to sleep and rest before my return journey tomorrow.”

“Who’s talking about booze? See this one; booze is the only way you Lagosians know to enjoy life abi? Abeg get up, let me go and introduce you to some proper Abuja hospitality. I’m sure you’ll thank me later.”

So I reluctantly agreed.

We got into his car and drove thirty or forty minutes to the outskirts of town, parked in a lot somewhere before we continued for another ten minutes on foot. Our destination was a nondescript blue two storey building standing alone inside a short dusty street. There was an access gate manned by two hefty guards who only let us in when Japhet showed them his membership card. The house itself had a high fence and another gate where he again had to show his card to gain entry. Inside the building was another matter, with loud music blasting throughout the dimly lit interior. There was a huge bar at one end of the ground floor but that in itself wasn’t what caught my attention, it was the bar tender. She was completely topless and I could see her boobs jiggle as she unselfconsciously shook a martini for a waiting customer. Japhet noticed my gaze and laughed, leaned close and raised his voice in order to be heard above the loud music.

“Surprised eh? This is Abuja my guy. What you see is just a tip of the wonders offered in this place. The entire building is a temple where fun loving people like you and me worship the god of enjoyment. Just relax and feel free, let me show you what you Lagos people are missing.”

Then he beckoned for me to follow him as he walked past a couple of guys seating at their tables to the bar.

“Hi there Ruky, how is it going?”

The bartender having discharged the martini customer looked up from arranging bottles and her pretty face smiled at us.

“Hello sir, it’s been a while. How is business?”

They were both practically shouting.

“Fine, all fine. Meet my friend from Lagos. I brought him here to show him we know how to enjoy life in Abuja. They in Lagos only know how to work and suffer head inside traffic.”

She looked at me and smiled again.

“Welcome sir. Hope you enjoy our meager offerings. What would you like to drink?”

I ordered for a gin and tonic while Japhet opted for Vodka.

“Oya come mister, stop staring at Ruky’s boobs and let’s go find some real enjoyment upstairs.”


The music wasn’t so loud on the first floor which was not open like the ground floor, but divided into reasonably sized sections. We entered one of them.


Five guys sat facing a small lit stage where a naked girl shook erotically to the lyrics of Olamide’s ‘Story For The gods’. She also did justice to Wande Coal’s ‘Rotate’ and Whizkid’s ‘In My Bed’ before the music slowed down and another naked girl joined her on stage. Both of them got busy on the floor licking and fingering each other to the delight of the ‘audience’. One of the five guys brought out a bundle of one thousand naira notes and started throwing the cash on stage but the girls didn’t even pause, they just kept right on. Another girl in G string and bra entered the room from the stage area and made straight for the cash sprayer. Smiling seductively, she slowly moved onto his laps and started giving him a scintillating lap dance, grinding suggestively all over him. Cash thrower showered her with a handful of notes and pulled her bra strings loose, exposing her big breasts which she pushed in his face, letting him squeeze them one after the other. The combined effect of succulent boobs and lap dance was obvious in Mr cash thrower’s trousers. Another bundle of money magically appeared in his hands and the girl sensing a mega payday, knelt down in front of him, unzipped his fly and slowly started sucking his dick like it was made of candy.


Lust hung heavy in the air.   


The two girls on stage were still engrossed with each other and I was torn between watching them and watching the guy beside me getting his dick sucked. Japhet was definitely having a good time watching me take in the happenings in the room.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked smiling.

“Of course I am, who wouldn’t?”

He must have spied the bulge in my trousers because he continued.

“I see you also need some attention. Glad to see you’re flesh and blood too, follow me.”

I did, looking back one last time as I made my exit. The girls on stage had left each other and were now busy sucking two of the other guys.

Another flight of stairs and I followed Japhet into an empty room with a single bed and a cabinet. He motioned for me to sit on the bed while he picked up a telephone I had not seen hanging on the wall behind the door and made a brief call. Some minutes later the door opened and another naked girl walked in.

“Good evening Sir” she said to both of us in turn.

“Good evening Rosa.  How are you?”

“I’m well sir, you?”

“I’m fine too. Pointing at me, he continued. My friend is from Lagos. I want you to give him something to remember Abuja by, something very hot and memorable.”

She smiled, showing a perfect set of white teeth.

“That won’t be a problem sir.”


The smile stayed on her face as she removed my clothing one after the other. She didn’t allow me do anything, not even to untie my shoe laces. She got me naked and pushed me back on the bed then went to the cabinet and brought out condoms, came back and methodically unrolled one on my now fully erect dick. Then she slowly straddled me.  I looked questioningly beyond her to where Japhet stood, still fully clothed and leaning on the wall watching as she began to move up and down but he just nodded and mouthed the word ‘enjoy’.


She fucked real good, changing gears and grinding her voluptuous ass as she gave me a dose of Abuja medicine. Not only would she lean back once in a while to fondle and caress my balls as she fucked me, but she would also lean forward to let her boobs brush my face.  I was doing absolutely nothing, just lying down there and enjoying being fucked real good. I glanced at Japhet once in a while, wondering if he would change his mind but the dude didn’t even have an erection. He just stood there, staring in a disinterested sort of way as I acted as Rosa’s okada until I came.


Much later on our way back to the hotel I asked him about it.

“Don’t worry about that bro, I wasn’t feeling in the mood tonight. The objective was to ensure you had fun on your last night in Abuja and I’m happy you did.”

“Okay then. Thank you once again, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.”

There was however something unsettling in his explanation.


We said our goodbyes the next morning and exchanged cards before heading out, me to the Airport and him back to town.


Lagos and its madness hit me square in the face after the tranquility of Abuja. It had been just a week but the difference was marked, a million bikes, a billion yellow buses and the innumerable people hurrying to nowhere.


I was chilling at home late in the evening when Karishika’s sms came in.

‘Welcome back. Hope your trip was fine. See you on Monday.’

The witch definitely had a monitoring spirit.


I had to go out to buy a bulb to replace the burnt one in the kitchen. On my way back home from Garuba’s place my phone rang and it was Mrs Ayiri.

“Hello Seke,”

“Hello madam.”

“Seeke!!! Diaris Gooduo, where have you been?”

“I’ve been out of town madam. How have you been?”

“I know you’ve been out of town na, I know you came back this afternoon sef. My sources are always on point Seke, don’t try awon goons mi.”

“Is that so madam?”

“Yes o. What did you bring back?”

“Well, it was a work trip….”

“Before you start telling stories that touch, I will manage preek. Abi you left that one too back there.”

I let the question slide.

“You don’t want to answer abi? Don’t worry Seke, you will share the gala whether you like it or not. After you give the gala, you go suck the boobs.”

Her laughter rang loud and long and I just waited for her to finish.

“Seriously sha Seke, I’ve missed you.”

“Really? Who would’ve thought?”

“Seke abeg bone all this grammar, when we dey see? Kpekus don miss your sharwama and body dey do person tinrinrin.”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

“Haba Seke.”

“True madam, before the end of tomorrow I will.”

“Okay o, think am well sha.”


I was actually in a dilemma as to whether to continue chooking madam considering that Japhet had been so nice to me in Abuja and all that. Don’t get me wrong, I liked free congo just like every other guy but ever since I put a face to the person, being assistant daddy sort of became a little disconcerting.



DD: Ajala travel, LOL. How was Abuja?

Me: Abuja was fine; it was an opportunity to chill from Lagos and una wahala.

DD: Oh yeah? And fuck all those Uni Abuja babes I guess.

Me: Naaaaa. You know I don’t roll like that. Moreso, I left my preek in Lagos.

DD: Indeed!!! Anyways, hope you brought kilishi.

Me: I brought something nasty. Big cylindrical something, you only get the sweetness when it’s touching the back of your throat. LOL. People who know better call it Kondo!

DD: Gerrarahere! Ashewo ten ten kobo. Shebi you said you left it in Lagos ni.


DD: Anyways, let’s fix a date for me to collect the kondo. You know they say spare the rod and spoil the child, I don’t wanto spoil.

Me: See who is talking spoilt. Don’t worry sha, soon.

DD: Okay, soon. Talk to you later.


Toyin was unaware of the price I had to pay just to keep our indiscretion from tearing the meal ticket, ignorance is total bliss. I settled back into the rhythm of work, glad to be back in familiar surroundings.

“Welcome back Sir, hope your vacation was fine?”

I looked up from work and saw Susan standing before my table.

“Thanks, although it was work not vacation. How have you been?

“Fine Sir. I just said I should come and say hello to you since it’s been a while, you didn’t even let me know you were travelling.”

“It was sort of sudden. But even if it wasn’t, maybe that’s the slacker’s way you know.”

Her eyes were blank. I was looking for a reaction to confirm Sarah’s information and had made deliberate reference to the word.

“Slacker’s way? I don’t understand Sir.”

She was either a good liar/actress or really didn’t, judging by the confusion on her face.

“C’mon Susan, we both know the slacker in this place don’t we?”

“No Sir, I don’t.”


She shook her head.

“Ok then, don’t worry about it. How are your friends? The ones that came with you to the mall that day?”

“Ah, those ones? They should be fine I guess. It’s not like we’re close friends like that. Mimi was my classmate in secondary school and we’re quite close but Sarah and Hannah are actually her friends. They were going to attend a program in Sarah’s church that day and had passed through my place so Mimi could drop my earpiece which had been with her for a while. I made the mistake of letting it slip that waiting for them had delayed my appointment with you at the mall and that was when Hannah the chop and quench decided they couldn’t pass up free chops. I can’t tell you how embarrassing it was for me that day, knowing it was supposed to be just you and I. I noticed your behavior changed since then and I’ve not had not had the opportunity to apologize. And the stupid Sarah girl even had the guts to ask me afterwards to call them again whenever there was another opportunity.”

“Wow! I thought you deliberately brought them to block me o.”

She smiled coquettishly.

“Haba, how can. Who doesn’t like sugar.”

Her voice had dropped towards the end of the statement making it come out in an exciting throaty manner and it got my pulse racing.

“Means we need to arrange another meet very soon to correct the wrong impressions, right?”

She nodded her consent.

“Great. You can go now; I’ll let you know how far later.


Imagine that! Meanwhile Sarah had used the PIN to collect preek o. Nothing spoil sha, shebi bull wey get hernia na more meat for butcher. Seke belongs to everybody and belongs to nobody, life na chop I chop.


On Thursday Karishika called me to her office, the first time after I returned from Abuja.

“I have good and bad news depending on your perspective of good and bad. You know good and bad can actually be the same thing or can be interchanged depending on who’s doing the labeling, who benefits and the ‘big’ picture?”

“To my understanding ma, good is good and bad is bad ma. There’s a big difference.”

She sneered.

“That’s because you don’t understand the concept of perspectives. Let me paint you a picture. A lion leaves his abode in the morning seeking prey to feed on, an antelope leaves his looking for food and hoping for a safe return. Along the line, both meet and suddenly the Antelope becomes food for the Lion and his family. Good for them, bad for the Antelope and his family right?”

I nodded and jumped a bit when she slapped the table.

“Wrong! The Lion feeds, as does his family and the other creatures who eat the scraps, they all poop and fertilize the forest, the leftover decays and fertilizes the forest, some of them also become food for other creatures, or die and decay, improving the vegetation and in a roundabout way, providing more food for the rest of the antelope’s family. By and large the cycle of life is preserved which is overall a good thing. Now you see what I mean about perspectives and the big picture?”

I just had to nod meekly at her illustration, twisted as it sounded.

“Good! Two ‘lucky’ people are going to get sacked next week which in itself is not necessarily a good or bad thing. That’s not why I called you here. I called you to let you know that you have to see me on Saturday at the place we used last time, I’ll give you the good/bad news then. 2 p.m. sharp, come in a taxi, the guards will be expecting you and you know better than to keep me waiting. See you then.”

She picked up her pen and started writing.



Abiodun is a member of the Mainland Book Café who daily juggles the Lagos hustle with running his personal blog and trying to stay sane in an increasingly insane world. Prose (fiction) and poetry roll of his pen as the spirit directs and his first collection of short stories (which is still without a title) is expected to hit the shelves very soon. He blogs at www.versesbybeordoon.com


  1. Lmao..I realy dunno what to comment on, jahpet, susan, karashika tho, dat woman is juat being dramatic jarey,na seke rod go end am last last..lol..nice one bro..thanks for making dis a lenghty one..Lol *Tuesday come fast o*

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