Honorable Secretary (INTERRUPT US) #4 BY @Maskuraid

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Traffic was nasty as usual but I finally made it home around 7.30 pm, very tired and famished.


A quarter of an hour later, standing stark naked in front of an open fridge after undressing and silently debating the wisdom of going out to buy hot Suya and Agege bread for dinner, my phone rang.

It was madam.

I let it ring twice before I reluctantly picked the call.


“Assistant daddy, Seke oni seke!!! Welcome back. How today for office?”

“ The office was fine thank you ma. You didn’t get my sms?”

“The text message? I did na, why?”

“I thought I explained that I was going to be working late today, that’s why I’m wondering.”


She just burst into loud laughter.


Seke!!! You think I’m one of those small small chewing gum girls you carry upandan that you can be swerving anyhow like when danfo driver is running from LASTMA? I got info of your arrival the minute you entered this Estate. To be assistant daddy no be play play at all o, the office carry plenty responsibilities. Abeg no let me waste my credit too much. I’ll see you soon.”


And she ended the call, still chuckling.


I dropped the phone on the fridge, closed it and stood there bemused.  See me see wahala o. That she got word immediately I entered the Estate? Babanla stalker alert, what kind of mischief have I gotten myself involved in kwa? Now she’s coming over, again. Does this woman think I’m a plug and play sex machine or something, just press button and voila – preek go begin strong?


Before you could say Jack Robinson, there was a knock on my gate meaning she must have been close by when she made the call. Conscious as ever about attracting unwanted attention, I rushed to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, tied it round my waist then quickly went to open for her. Thankfully there were no lights in my neighbor’s compound.


Once we were indoors, she dropped the bag she was carrying on the dining table and brought out a small red food warmer which she twisted opened. The savory smell of well fried stew with plenty of iru flew up my nostrils making my stomach rumble. This was the devil at work, how did she know I loved iru in my stew?


“I made some rice and stew for you, knowing you must be hungry and this place will most likely be empty of food – chronic bachelor that you are.  You want to eat now or make I keep am till later?”


I was still slightly pissed at the fact that she decided to crash my place without my invitation so I just kept mute, praying that my belly wouldn’t rumble audibly and disgrace me. She closed the warmer and looked at me again.

Seke, talk now. Which one you wan do, abi na do you wan do first before anything?” Her impish smile was back in sight.

“Madam I’m fine as I am, thank you very much. I just don’t appreciate your coming here this evening after I told you I had something to do. I don’t at all.”

“Ah Seke, I’m sorry. You don vex ba, oya sorry no vex. It wasn’t like I planned to come sef but Daddy called this afternoon that he’ll be coming home tomorrow and he will be around for another week or so. That was why I came to collect small dose of Vitamin ‘Q’ before he arrives to keep body and soul together until he goes back.”


My heart had skipped a beat when she first mentioned her husband but her explanation calmed me down and I loosened up a bit.


“Ehen, if he’s coming home tomorrow why do you now need the kondo? Shebi Daddy will be around to supply all your needs in abundance, abi?”

“See this Seke o. Let me chook you small pin, see ehn since yesterday my body has just been sweeting me anyhow. Daddy’s own doesn’t do me like that, at all at all. That one shot wey I collect yesterday just be like drug for my system. Somebody even commented today about my radiant skin. Walahi, your vitamin ‘Q’ na confamento.”

Waawu, I didn’t know o. Maybe I should start advertising.” We both laughed at the joke.


“Well sha. I’m happy Daddy is coming to spend some time with you but right now I’m hungry and tired and I’m not even sure I can do any shoki this night.”

“Haba Seke, strong man like you. Oya confess, you don divert somewhere or you get piss-put for office ba?”  I playfully raised both hands to proclaim my innocence.

“No just fall my hand biko, I don dey think kpanshin since afternoon. In any case sha, I brought you small something to give you additional power.” She delved into her bag and brought out a small bottle which she handed over to me.

“That is what they call Ogidiga. I didn’t find Baby Okwu but this one also works wonders according to the Sisi selling at the bus stop. I also have a bottle of malt and a tin of preek milk if na that style you want.”


This women really left one no choice. Meanwhile, who gave all these ridiculous names to drinks?


“Give me a minute let me take a shower then, I’m grimy from all the traffic and I really wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

She drew closer to me and inhaled. “Ehen, I talk am. You smell like a hard-working man should smell jor. Issnor every time that a man should smell like a baby. You don’t know that the smell of a real man turns a woman on? Abeg bone the shower for now, you can do it after.”

I would have laughed but my empty belly chose that exact time to rumble loudly.


“Aha Seke, see as your belle dey protest. I knew you would be hungry but you come dey form Van Damme for me. Make we just do one shot before you chop.” Again I told her I was too tired for janglova.

Haba Seke! You can’t be that tired now, bia, even if na one shot only I will give you all the encouragement you need.” Quick as lightning before I could move out of range, she grabbed my towel and yanked it off exposing my dick, which she hefted in her hand and briefly massaged.


Nothing happened.


At that moment if ‘Lil J had a hand, I swear I would have gallantly hi fived it. It just lay there, curled in her palm like a cold lifeless worm, totally unresponsive. I gave her the ‘see what I told you’ look, smiling triumphantly. I obviously didn’t know Madam Ayiri well enough or how determined she could be when it came to lashing matters.


She simply knelt down and pushed my exposed cap into her mouth.

Whoa!” Wait wait, what are you doing? I thought…I thought you didn’t.”

She released it long enough to reply.

“I read something this afternoon on how to jumpstart any sluggish or broken down rod. Make we see if oyinbo dey lie.” And she started sucking my dick.


Poor ‘Lil J’ hadn’t bargained for that kind of assault and in my head I could almost hear James Ingram singing ‘I did my best….’ as it slowly started stretching out and stiffening.


For a first timer (going by her earlier claims), Madam actually scored more than average. She licked and sucked with so much reverence and attention, carefully enough to ensure her teeth didn’t graze my flesh and with one of her hands cupping and warming my balls that in less than a minute I was hard and groaning from all the sensations her warm and wet mouth was causing along the entire length of my shaft. I didn’t even know when I grabbed her head and started fucking her mouth gently, slowly thrusting in and out.


When she was satisfied I was completely hard and rearing to go, she stopped briefly and commanded me to put on a condom. Like a zombie I obeyed, picking up the remainder from last night while wondering how in the world I was going to fuck for the third time in roughly twenty four hours. She let me finish before leading me by hand to the sitting room sofa where she pushed me into lying flat on my back, raised her skirt (underneath which there was no pant) and climbed atop my straining dick.


The way my dick glided into her wetness like a hot knife digging into butter, I thought it would reach her throat. When I was in up to the hilt, she stayed still for a moment, enjoying the feel of warm strong meat inside her, then suddenly started moving.


Fam, the best makkossa dancer you know doesn’t have anything on Madam. It was as if her hips had gyroscopes and could move simultaneously in all directions. I didn’t even have to do anything; I just lay there while she furiously rode me like a Texas trained cowgirl trying to tame a rampaging bull. It was crazy and I loved it.


She had been bucking for like five minutes when her phone rang, piercing through the haze of pleasure that had descended on the room. My eyes flew open.


Madam slowed down a bit but didn’t stop moving, both of us expecting that the ringing would cease if ignored, but it didn’t. On the third cycle, she finally stood up reluctantly and walked over to the dining table where her she’d dropped her bag and the annoying phone. Immediately she picked it up and saw the caller, the angry look she had on her face vanished.


Motioning for me to keep quiet, she silently mouthed the word D – A – D – D – Y. Then she accepted the call and started speaking in a hushed but even tone.


I sat up and instinctively covered my dick with both hands, as if the guy could see the room from where he was. The woman was something else sha, hearing her speak this evenly now, one wouldn’t believe she had been wildly grinding a couple of minutes before.


Finally she ended the conversation and rushed back to the sofa.


“Seke sorry o. E be like say NEPA go cause break in transmission. That was Daddy calling, in fact I had to lie that I went to the chemist for some drugs. He wants us to Skype in ten minutes so that I can help him pack and his sessions are usually lengthy affairs. Abeg no vex, I have to dash back home now.”


My dick had already started drooping before she finished her statement.


She quickly went back to the table and picked up her bag as she prepared to go but left the food.

“Keep the cooler here till I can pick it up.” Glancing wistfully at my wilting dick she continued, “I’m sorry for leaving you like this Seke, considering that you been no wan do before.”


“Not to worry, I understand. No be assistant I be?”


I was actually caught between gratitude and discontent at the coitus interruptus. A part of me was glad I hadn’t come, considering what it would have taken out of me while the other part still wanted to regardless.


Those thoughts must have clouded my normally sharp sense of caution as I donned my towel again – condom and all and went to open the gate for her to hurry out.


Just as I made my way back to the rear door, my neighbor’s security light came on and her voice squeaked from the kitchen window.


“Good evening Uncle and welcome back from the office. How was work today?



Abiodun is a member of the Mainland Book Café who daily juggles the Lagos hustle with running his personal blog and trying to stay sane in an increasingly insane world. Prose (fiction) and poetry roll of his pen as the spirit directs and his first collection of short stories (which is still without a title) is expected to hit the shelves very soon. He blogs at www.versesbybeordoon.com


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