Editor’s Special: Men, Your Wives Are Cheaper Than Your Sidechicks

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Having a sidechick is all fun and games until you check your account balance.

Of course, it is assumed that the men who keep sidechicks are very capable of taking care of both their wives and mistresses. They would have counted the cost before plunging into anything extra marital. However, this isn’t always the case, especially when you hear the story from the other side. I mean, from the wives. Most of them, apart from experiencing emotional abandonment and sexual starvation, tell tales of financial neglect. Well, the reason for this is quite obvious. Their husbands simply cannot keep up with catering for the family because they are busy oiling the lifestyles of their sidechicks.

I want to put this out there that it is not your entitlement as a man to cheat. I’m not standing on a moral or religious high ground here. Extra-marital affairs are not for everyone (not even for anyone in the first place). There’s a reason why a cheating husband is called a maga. If you cannot dole out the cash at home and abroad, please sit your behind at home and enjoy the wife of your youth. And it would be dumb of you to believe your sidechick loves you and doesn’t need your money. Uncle, she’s a gold-digger and doesn’t have time for that love claptrap. After a few romps, she’ll come demanding what is rightfully hers.

A word should be enough for the wise but just in case you want to taste what the big bosses are tasting, be ready to spend big. Quality action demands substantial commitment.

Here’s what you’ll be doing for her.

  1. Clothing

Mistresses don’t tie wrapper like wives. When you go to see them, they’re always in some hot number or skimpy lingerie. These things cost money. They also need to look good when you’re taking them out to some exclusive place where no one will see you guys. Who do you think will buy the designer dresses, shoes and purses for such outings? Definitely not her. It’s your job. Or do you want some other maga doing the job for you?

2.  Transportation

Unless you want to get caught, you have to travel out of town, once in a while, to carry out your affair. Sidechicks do not like to be carried to Yankari Game Reserve or Jos Wildlife Park. They want quality trips to exotic places that will take a chunk out of your pocket. A smart maga knows that covering your tracks as a cheat is very important. Doing it in your sidechick’s home all the time becomes not only risky, but boring. And you don’t want that. After all, you neglected your wife because sex became monotonous, hence the need to travel every now and then. So, we’re talking flight fares, fuel money, hotel bills, etc.

READ: Why Do Single Ladies Love Committed And Married Men?

  1. Beauty and Salon

Sidechicks are supposed to look sexier, younger and more appealing than wives. We’re talking about hair, makeup, cosmetics, spa treatments, and the likes. Quality weave cost nothing less than twenty-five grand (if you want to start cheap). Makeup products are expensive as well. So, let’s say in a month you would be roughly spending fifty grand upwards just for her beauty treatments.

  1. Entertainment

So, you can’t be doing hotels and resorts all the time; you have to go for shows and concerts to entertain yourselves. This means you will be buying tickets for exclusive events and we all know how much they cost. We now have VIP and VVIP tables at these events. You don’t want to be caught in the crowd with the average guys.

  1. Gifts

The question is not whether she likes gifts or not, or whether she likes expensive ones; it’s about how habitually you have to get them for her. Women (whether wives or mistresses) love gifts and need them frequently. You can’t escape that. You will have to get jewelry, designer perfumes and if you can afford it, even a car. A wife might just be content with a silver bracelet or a box of chocolates alongside cuddling in bed all through the weekend; but a sidechick wants you to spend big on her. She finds consolation and acceptance in material things.

READ: Sugar Daddy Chronicles

  1. Housing

If you’re a man who wants to feel exclusive and classy while cheating (although we can argue about the refinement of a cheating man) then you have to keep that sidechick all to yourself. This means she can’t be spending time with any other man asides you, or living in an apartment where other men can have access to her. Hence, she needs a house of her own. This works best for you so that your cheating ass spends less in a hotel. Therefore you’ll have to choose a discreet place and we all know that discreet places cost some good money. And also remember that you can’t pay only rent. Furniture, décor, appliances, househelps are all on the list.

  1. Pocket Money

It’s not enough to buy your sidechick gifts, pay for her clothes, beauty treatments and rent her a house. You have to put aside some money for her daily upkeep. Babe’s got to eat after servicing you. And she has to pay for all those other little things females pay for that guys don’t know about. The idea is just to keep her happy before another man does that for you. Ergo, the need for a monthly salary. Mistressing is a job, after all.

  1. Miscellaneous

You might need a new phone for your affair, you might need to pay some hush money to shut mouths that can rat you out, you might need to appease your wife every now and then with guilt gifts to ‘blind’ her, and you may ultimately need to set aside a lot more than that when you eventually get caught (oh yes, you will be) because your wife will demand for your head on a platter either in a divorce or for compensation for cheating on her.

READ: How Not To Be A Sidechick

  1. Your marriage, pride and family.

I have never seen a case of marital infidelity that ended well. It will most certainly cost you your marriage. You thought things were rocky before? Watch what happens after your dirty secret has been revealed. And what about your kids? How do they view love and marriage and intimacy? How do the girls see themselves? What are you teaching the boys about women? Will your kids respect you? How will society and relatives view you?

In the end, cheating is an expensive game to play. It may have its benefits like sexual pleasure and the experience of enjoying something fresh but it creates a huge hole in your finances. Unless you’re really working hard for some chunk of your to cash go to your sidechick, then I’d advise that you remain faithful. Seriously, it doesn’t pay to cheat.





Sally is the author of the Fish Brain series and Boys With Toys. She has written other online series like The Immortals’ Code, No heart Feelings, Novocaine Knights, To Tame a Virgin and In Pursuit of Kyenpia. She lives in Lagos with her husband and kids and loves the occasional bar lounging with friends. She blogs on www.moskedapages.com or you can follow her on Twitter @NovocainKnights


  1. True notes from the angle and perception of a knowledgeable observer. A piece only a wise man can follow and learn. Men please watch and pray.

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