The first part of this article gave critical insights into what anger and temper are and ways you can control and manage your anger issues. Some of the tips for anger management provided include finding an outlet to let go of your anger, getting healing for yourself through the use of sound waves and dousing your angry feelings through love. This second part provides what more helpful tips.
Stop resisting your anger
I once had a teacher who consistently told us that the angry emotions we feel is not what hurts when the deed is done; rather, it is the resistance to letting ourselves get angry that hurts us more. You may have tried the much you can to fight off your tiredness especially when you have a target to meet. But ask yourself, do you fight off your anger when you’re angry?
It might actually do you some good to look at each emotion from the perspective of what you actually need to feel at a particular point in time. This may help to allow the hurt you feel to pass away sooner than you expect instead of building some form of resistance to the pain you feel. Not resisting the pain you feel might help you accept it and move on.
Whenever you’re angry, feel the pain. Tell yourself you’re experiencing anger. Say to yourself you can feel the rush of blood in your veins. That you feel the discomfort that comes with it and that it’s something you choose to feel so that it can pass.
It may also be helpful for you to write out the things that make you angry and those that have made you angry in the past. Find time to analyse those things and burn the pages in which you wrote them. After writing them out, you can burn them or discard them as a means of letting them go. By not resisting your anger, your emotions can be channelled positively.
Cleanse your emotions with breathing and stretching
You may have heard that anger is stored beneath your heart, mind or in the soul. What do you think that means? It means the cells in our body have a record of both our positive and negative memories. Medical research also found that certain types of cancers are linked to certain types of emotions people that have them feel. A publication in the British medical journal found that stomach cancer relates to anger. In time, more of such researches are bound to come out.
In the meantime, take lots of deep breaths and stretches. People that undertook deep hip opening stretches have reported feeling a swarm of emotion being released. People that regularly practice yoga attest to this and it has been deemed natural and healthy by alternative health practitioners.
If you find yourself feeling angry or hurt, simply take deep breaths for about 2 minutes and you’d probably feel some form of instant relief after. When you have forms of negative emotions in you, you stop breathing and that reduction in oxygen supply increases anxiety.
Connect to nature
Connecting to nature can help you douse your anger and live healthy. Nature is one of the most underrated therapeutic treatments that exists. In fact, nature deficit disorder is a real thing that affects people. This disorder can be likened to a lack of vitamin D which creates mania in some indigenous tribes of Alaska and seasonal affectedness disorder creates depression. As such, a disconnect with nature can cause an imbalance in your emotional health.
So, if you want to chill out, take a walk, go to a park or travel to a nature reserve and cool off.
Do something kind
When you’re angry and you need to turn the negative emotions you’re feeling into something positive, one of the best ways to do so is to shift focus away from yourself. This action is not one that is common in the world of today due to how much premium we place on love of self and materialism. It would be to your own good if you could break away from this and do something without trying to get anything in return.
By lending a helping hand to someone that needs it or being kind to someone who is passing through a rough patch, you would be shifting focus from yourself and your cravings to showing compassion and gratitude. Try as much as you may not to let your emotions control you by stepping away from the anger you feel to focusing on helping others.
If you find out that try as you may, you just can’t seem to help anyone but yourself, then you may just be a narcissist which means you also need to work on your ego. Narcissism may make you believe you are doing the right thing by creating a world that revolves completely around you.
If you think you’re a narcissist, admit that you’re one and try to do something for other people. You can start by complimenting people and not using harsh words on them. Try to encourage and inspire people instead of breaking them down. Try not to always be around people that consistently tell you how great a person you are. Give as often as possible to the less privileged,try not to brag and know anger is commonly felt by narcissistic people.
Remind yourself of what you’re grateful for
Ask yourself the things you are angry about. Was it that you lost a huge amount of money or you got heartbroken. This might not even be the case as the things that we usually get angry about are irrelevant to the bigger picture. You’re probably creating problems to focus on for the moment that have little or no relevance to your future.
Anger only serves to limit your progress and distracts you from the things that would help you lead a happy and productive life. If you find yourself feeling angry, simply have a good laugh and know that you’ve got a better life compared to a lot of people. Know that no one walking the earth’s surface is perfect and let go of your ego.
When you’re angry, be grateful for the people in your life, for having shelter over your head and food on your table. Be grateful for your health and the job you have. There are endless things to be grateful for and by shifting your thoughts, your default thinking patterns will become less angry. You can take a cue from positive people who appear contagious and fun to be around, which do you want to be?
Put yourself in their shoes to connect to your compassion
Putting yourself in the shoes of the person your anger is channeled towards can help you let go of your anger. This technique is quite useful as it can help you move from a bitter angry state to one in which you feel the emotions of the other person.
It is important you make a decision to be more compassionate by not letting social trends take control of our health and emotional state. Take a look at healthy people around you and you’re bound to see a correlation between being compassionate and having good health.
Music based on compassion are evergreen. You can look up to the teachings of people that taught compassion. The Dalai Lama, Buddha, Jesus, John Lennon, Mother Theresa, Muhammad, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King are a few of renowned leaders who taught and promoted compassion. The messages of these teachers have survived time to provide us with the needed knowledge to heal our anger and replace it with happiness and resounding health.