Pres. Buhari Successfully Performs First Miracle After 40 Days And Nights

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President Muhammadu Buhari may have successfully performed the first of many miracles expected from him by Nigerians after almost 40 days and 40 nights on the saddle as the supreme ruler of Nigeria.

Information gathered from The Sun suggests that the President has conjured a mind-boggling N414 billion out of an otherwise ‘empty treasury’.

The whooping N413.7 billion, which is coming from the Central Bank, in the form of soft loans, will have the Federal Government serving as its guarantor.

State executives have definitely got back their groove. The spirit of the prodigal is set to return.

Buhari, who like we all know is not swayed by public opinion – which also explains why he’s taking his time and ignoring all of us clamouring for him to announce his first cabinet – has finally capitulated to pressure.

The President has emptied our excess crude account – which Goodluck Jonathan was supposed to have cleaned out, by the way – and shaken out every dime inside the purse containing our LNG proceeds. And like the PDP before it, the APC is now set to “share the money”!

The Good News now is that everything has been put on the table for sharing – unlike before, when they only brought a fraction to the sharing-table, while the larger chunk remained under the table, from whence it vanished into private pockets.

Meanwhile, the President has expressed optimism that the end is near for Boko Haram, as he condemned their attacks on soft targets.

Furthermore, President Buhari, disclosed that the contradictory reports from the administration of former President, Goodluck Jonathan and the security agencies shortly after the abduction of the Chibok girls, depicts the last administration in bad light locally and internationally.

Datboyjerry

Datboyjerry

I am but your herald boy in the art of the pen.. An eccentric Environmental Biologist smouldered in the glorious epiphany of online journalism.

If you ever find my article unduly insipid, sue me and i’ll refund you…

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