So, I had this episode of It’s Another Saturday since Saturday and I was like, I’ll post it on Monday because of the public holidays. But then on Monday, I think I forgot or something very stupid like that. Then I wanted to post it yesterday but I had another post scheduled.
So, here it is…the bonus episode. Specially dedicated to erm…to you. You know yourself.
I’m not listening to a word he’s saying. All I want is to just get away from him before my feelings turn to hate. I can’t even look into his eyes right now.
“Leave me alone, Jide.”
“Just listen to me. Let me explain. It’s a pretty, simple explanation…”
I shove away his hand resting on my arm and leave the house through the kitchen backdoor.
“Honey!” He comes after me and takes my hand again. “Smoochie, listen to me, please.”
I almost melt at the pet name he has just called me. This is following a heavy make out session earlier this morning in which we got caught by mommy and she gave us the third degree about the dangers of premarital sex.
“Let me go.” I wrestle but he holds me tighter and pulls me closer, wrapping his other arm around my waist. I take just one look into his eyes and I soften but it doesn’t stop the tears from spilling.
“You know you can trust me, Honey.”
“How? After what I just heard? Jide, that’s like the worst thing to do. I’m so disgusted at you right now. Leave me!”
I pry my hand off and walk away.
“You know I won’t go after you,” he says. “If you want to leave without hearing my side of the story, then go ahead.”
I stop and wipe my tears. Okay, maybe I need to hear him but after I’m done listening, I’ll go to his place, pack my things and leave his life. Sleeping with one’s sister-in-law? I just can’t deal.
I turn around and find myself almost in his arms. I step back. He clutches my hand once more and leads me back into the house. Daddy is in a very bad mood. He is ranting in Igbo. Everyone is dead quiet. Mommy has her chin in her hand as she stares at the floor with absent eyes. Tola has settled on a side stool, crying, but nobody pays her any mind. The moment Jide steps in, daddy’s tirade hits the roof. I don’t understand what he’s saying but I think he’s telling him to leave. Jide replies in Igbo, daddy fires back, Jide raises his voice as well, and mommy finally steps in.
“Let him talk, please,” she says to her husband exasperatedly.
Daddy grunts and slumps into a single couch behind him.
“You all want to know the truth,” Jide begins. “This is the uncut version of what happened between Tola and I. Tola, if you open your mouth while I’m talking, I’ll throw you out of this house like a rotten egg. Don’t say a word.”
I have never seen his face so icy. I lean on the wall behind me and listen to him.
“I met Tola at Bobby’s wedding party. We hit it off on the dancefloor. I told her my name, she told me hers. Family or dating history never came up. We ended up in a hotel room where we spent the night. By the next morning, when I woke up, she was gone, and she took my wallet, one of my phones and wristwatch, and then called me to tell me that she was Emeka’s fiancée. She said I was to make sure Emeka got married to her or she would expose that we slept with each other. She also told me she was already five weeks pregnant then. God being my witness, I did not know who she was prior to our meeting. Tola had revenge sex with me because Emeka cheated on her with her cousin. She had it all planned and I fell into the trap. My only crime here was sleeping with someone I didn’t know. I have confessed to Emeka. I told him everything but I am not responsible for his being absent today, although I am happy he is. Tola doesn’t deserve him.”
All eyes are on Tola now. “You knew who I was, Jideofor!” she rants. “Emeka sent you pictures of us!”
“Did I not tell you to close your mouth?!” Jide growls, advancing towards her. She shrinks back and he stops, but leaves a menacing glare on her.
“Omotola, can you dispute all Jide just said?” Kalu asks.
“Did Jide just tell the truth about what happened between you two?”
Tola strikes a restless pose and I start to dislike her.
“Emeka and I were not technically together when I hooked up with Jide,” she answers in a mousy voice.
“Jesus Omotola! Or whatever your useless name is!” Elsie snaps. “You’re such a ho! And you stormed into this place, slapped Jideofor and made him out to be the villain when it was you who jumped from one brother to the other!”
“I didn’t mean to.” Tola launches into a fresh sob. I want to march to where she is and knock her off that stool this minute.
“Stop that very nonsense cry right there!” Daddy thunders. “What type of woman are you, sleeping with two brothers?! And you came here and made all of us fall in love with you when you had evil intent in your heart all along?!”
“No, daddy. I truly love Emeka.”
“Maybe a little too much,” mommy says in a gentle tone. I don’t see the anger in her eyes that everyone shares. She looks rather tired. “You’re obsessed, Tola. And it’s a bad thing for a woman to be that way with a man. It will make you do things you normally wouldn’t do.”
“Stop trying to understand the reasoning behind the abomination she has committed!” daddy tells his wife. “She is no longer welcome here! Omotola, get up from that place and leave my house this minute!”
Tola lets out a loud cry.
“Lawrence, please, calm down.”
“No! She leaves this minute! Get up, my friend!”
Tola vacates the stool but falls on her knees to plead. I want to feel sorry for her but I can’t. Not when I’m still mad at Jide for giving himself to other women so easily but denying me what is rightfully mine. This fight is so not over between us.
Tola, snake that she is, has crawled up to mommy’s feet and is putting up the shoddiest act, still making the whole thing about her.
“Woman, you are defying my orders by letting this wicked human being stain my floor with her crocodile tears!”
“Mommy, let her go, please,” Elsie begs. “The marriage is off. Her tears are unnecessary.”
Tola moans pathetically and throws herself on mommy’s laps. Mommy rubs her back and looks at her husband dolefully. Daddy doesn’t budge.
“Obasi, call the gateman to come and throw her out!”
Tola screams again, holding mommy tightly. “Mommy, help me beg him!”
As Oba heads for the door, it pushes in from outside and Emeka walks into the house. To everyone’s surprise, he is dressed in his wedding attire.
“Where have you been, Chukwuemeka?” mommy demands. Emeka doesn’t give an answer. He walks further and stands before everyone with a smile.
“I have a son!” he announces.
At first there is silence and then Elsie lets her baby down and gives him a hug. “Congratulations, darling!”
Mommy cracks a proud smile and calls him over as tears flood her face. When he bends to hug her, he pinches Tola’s cheek and mutters something to her. With the atmosphere suddenly changed, we all congratulate him, except daddy who retains his anger and cold mood.
“Tola,” Emeka calls, “it was this good news I was trying to share with you on the phone this morning but you heard the name Yazmin and totally flipped and concluded the wedding was off.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” Tola stands up. “I didn’t know.”
“Well maybe next time, you should try not to listen to that resident demon in your head.”
“I think they’re more than one demon, Chukwuemeka,” daddy comments. “And that is why the wedding will not hold anymore. There is no way I’ll sit back as your father and watch you marry this woman.”
Tola walks to Emeka and puts her arms around him. They look cute together in their matching attire. Why do I have a feeling that they were once crazy in love?
“Help me beg him, Mex. Beg mommy and everyone else too. I’m so sorry for what I did with Jide. I’m very sorry. I was desperate. And I’m begging you too. Please forgive me.”
Tola goes on her knees again. She holds Emeka’s sokoto and resumes her sniveling.
“Oh well, the secret is out,” Emeka addresses everyone. “Tola really screwed up but I’m taking the blame for this one too.”
“Emeka?” Elsie whispers.
“Please, let me talk.” He focuses on his father. “When we were growing up, dad, you taught us that one of the things that makes a man is when he keeps to his word. You also told me that integrity is more valuable than money. I have lost my integrity, dad. I’ve messed up in many ways. With Tola, with Yazmin, with all of you. All I have left is my word. And I wanna keep it. I promised this woman here, a long time ago, that I’ll be her husband and I’ll keep that promise today. I’ve broken one heart already today; I can’t break another. What type of father would I be to my son if I go around treating women less than they deserve? Yes, Tola slept with Jide but that was only because I screwed around too. She is not this person you see here. A lot has happened between us to get her to this point. It never used to be like this. She was my best friend and was constantly there for me. I loved her and though, I don’t feel that way now, I know we can get back what we lost. I have forgiven her for what she did with Jide and I’m ready to start all over but we need your blessing – again.”
“I don’t approve.” Daddy shakes his head. “I’m sorry, son.”
“Dad, please. Your permission means a lot to us. You’ve been in my life from the first day. Don’t leave me now.”
We all look daddy’s way. He is still shaking his head.
“You want to build your home on a faulty foundation, Chukwuemeka, and I won’t allow it.”
“Daddy, please.” Tola is out of fake tears now. I think I see genuine regret on her face. I’m not sure. The girl is hard to understand.
“No.” daddy gives his final word. He stands again and begins up the stairs. Mommy also stands.
“Lawrence,” she calls, “it’s not like she committed adultery.”
“Even those who commit adultery find forgiveness from those they hurt. Emeka has said he has forgiven her. Why should we stop their happiness?”
Daddy turns and locks eyes with mommy in silence.
“Biko,” she drops one last plea.
Daddy lifts his head and stares up the ceiling as if in communication to God, and lets it down in a sigh.
“Chukwuemeka, I’m doing this because of your mother.”
“Thank you. Thank you, mom.”
“Get up, Omotola.”
Emeka helps Tola up and she rushes into mommy’s arms for a comforting hug. The old woman blesses them in prayer, removing any curse that looms over them due to their sins. She calls on God to make them fruitful and prosper the work of their hands. Daddy’s prayer is less extravagant, but he gives his blessing, nonetheless. I’m amazed and touched by this family’s love and forgiving spirit. I don’t think my family would do the same if they were in their shoes. This makes me love Jide more, knowing he has such awesome parents.
“Okay!” Kalu lifts his hand to check the time on his watch. “I think we have a wedding to attend.”
“Before we leave, Tola, there’s one more person you need to apologize to. And from today, you are not allowed to call him by his name. He is either Uncle Jide or Brother Jide or Dede or just De.”
“Yes, ma.” Tola nods and presents herself to Jide in a meek manner. “I’m sorry, Uncle Jide.”
Uncle Jide keh. After knowing each other carnally. I’d like to see how things go from now on. The whole thing still makes my head woozy.
“And please, I beg all of you,” mommy adds, “that what has been revealed here today does not leave this house. This should be one family secret that we take to our graves.”
We all agree with her. As Kalu directs everyone into waiting cars outside, Jide strolls to me. I turn my face away.
“Are you still vexing?”
“I am. Everybody seems to have had a taste of you, except me. I’m supposed to be smiling about that?”
He laughs and takes my waist. I push him away.
“Stop fronting jor.”
I ignore him as I head for the front door. He follows me and forces his arms around me from behind, lifting me off my feet. I squeal. He leaves wet kisses on my neck and shoulders, right in the presence of daddy who doesn’t seem impressed by the brazen display of affection.
“That is how you people will doing now,” he grouches. “After una go say una no wan do again. Na only God go judge all of you.”
Jide lets me down and we join the others outside. Kalu has us in the backseat of Oba’s car. There’s a cousin in front with Oba and they kick off with some gossip about some family member while Jide and I carry on our PDA.
“Have I told you how gorgeous you look, smoochie? Like I seriously want to eat you, right now.”
“Stop teasing, Jideofor. You’re such a tempter.”
He grins wickedly and pokes me in my sides. I can’t help but scream.
“Do I park the car and we wait outside till you guys are done?” Oba asks but Jide motions to him to face the road, and then he goes for my lips. Oh, sweet paradise on earth! This man is such a good kisser.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Tola got what she wanted at last. I hope she’s happy. Despite all the drama, tears and heartbreak, the traditional and white weddings are going down in history as the weddings that shut the city down. Did I mention that Emeka and Tola have a lot of influential friends? I didn’t know, being that I’ve been away for five years. Tola’s younger sister, Morenike, who is the manager of a multi award-winning rapper made sure she literally dragged the entertainment industry to both events. Then let’s not forget Novocaine Knights and the job they did as event planners. They have become so much of a household brand that people just pop up anywhere their name is mentioned and since the weddings were not strictly by invitation, the reception halls were packed to the rafters.
Honey and I have a good time, especially at the second reception. She loves to dance as much as I do, and we make the most of the dancefloor. At some point we are so lost in each other, the world around us just disappears into fuzzy colors and distant music. She alone is alive in my vista and for a passing moment I look into her eyes and see the woman I saw in my dreams while I was on my sickbed.
But like I said, a passing moment. Everything comes back to reality when I spot Mary being led by Reno out of the reception hall. She is limping and I can see blood gushing down her left leg. I hand Honey over to Bobby and leave the hall. I find Reno and Mary by a tap outside. She has her leg under running water.
“What happened?” I ask. Mary looks down. She doesn’t reply.
“Some idiot cut her with a sharp metal he was carrying.”
“Let me see.” I bend down. Mary pulls her leg away. “Let me see, madam.”
I take the leg and notice that it’s a deep cut.
“You’ll have to stitch this. Does it hurt?”
“Pele. Reno, abeg you fit use your car carry her go hospital?”
Reno apologizes. “You know say I suppose don dey work by now sef.
“I can handle myself.” Mary sits on a slab nearby.
“Handle yourself, how? You can’t even stand. Let’s not forget the risk of a tetanus infection.”
I stretch my neck to peer out the street. It’s already dark and I doubt that we would easily get a cab out there. I remember Oba had parked his car where he can access it later with no troubles. I tell Mary to wait while I go get him. Luckily, I find him yarning with some chick in a corner, just outside the entrance of the hall. He hands me his key, the look on his face telling me to handle my shit by myself. I stall. I’m still very uneasy behind the wheel but I don’t want to bug anyone else. I look at Mary; she is in a lot of pain. I breathe in and make the brave decision to take her to the nearest hospital after telling Oba to inform Honey of my whereabouts.
We get into Oba’s car. Mary looks at me as my hand shakes when it aims for the ignition. She touches me.
“You can do it, Jide. Just blank out that night.”
She doesn’t understand. I can’t blank out the most dreadful night of my life. I had experienced the type of horror one only watched in movies. I saw death coming and could do nothing about it. I recall Ezinne’s screams and how she ordered me to start the car as a trailer out of control sped towards us. But my hand had frozen over the ignition and I couldn’t move a single muscle. The last I remember hearing was her hair-raising scream before we got smashed into by the trailer. I can never forget that night. This is my first time behind the wheel since the incidence.
Mary’s hand squeezes mine. “Start the car, Jide.”
Still shaking, I turn the ignition and the car fires up. I can hardly feel myself breathe as I put the car into gear and slowly ease it out of its parked spot. It is with nerve I steer it through the tight street and unto a freer highway. At first, I drive like an old man who can’t see the night clearly but with Mary encouraging me to let go, I ease up a little. Still, I’m not sure I can do this another time.
“That’s a hospital,” Mary points out her window at an imposing structure in front of us.
“It’s a General Hospital,” I respond.
“I don’t care. Let’s just go in. I can’t stand this pain.”
I find a parking space in the hospital premises and help Mary in. Unfortunately for us, we have come in at a wrong time. An accident that had just occurred down the road with a lot of casualties has taken most of the doctors on duty. Mary and I are forced to sit and wait. Even the nurses won’t attend to us after we register.
“Let’s go somewhere else. I’m sure there’s a private clinic around.”
“I’ll wait,” Mary insists.
And so we wait. For the first time in our friendship, we have nothing to say to each other. I feel Mary wants to bring up the incidence that has put this wedge between us but she’s too nervous. And I don’t want to talk about it either.
“Nurse!” I call a nurse passing by. “How far nau? My friend is bleeding here!”
“Ehen? You didn’t see other people waiting? Or is it because you’re wearing shine-shine we should answer you first?”
I frown. She is a disgrace to my profession. I’d like to tell her that but I try a different tactic as I go after her.
“Excuse me, nurse.”
She stops and eyes me. “What is it! I’m busy, abeg! ”
“I know that. And that’s why I’m asking if it’s okay to dress and stitch my friend’s injury myself? I’m a certified nurse and midwife.”
She looks at me from top to bottom, claps her hands together and laughs. “Nothing wey I no go hear for dis place.”
I take out my wallet and pull out my ID. Curiosity erases her earlier expression and she gives me a second look. I put out my charming face that has nothing to do with a smile. She melts.
“Midwife keh.” She smiles. “This is new o. Oya come this way.”
She leads me to a room where she hands me a tray complete with everything I’ll need to fix Mary’s leg. At the same time she checks me out and becomes self-conscious when she decides I’m hot enough to spark something in her. Side note: I’m not that hot.
“You can bring your friend here.”
I rush out and return with Mary. The nurse has forgotten that she’s busy as she hangs around to see if I know what I’m doing. By the time I begin cleaning the wound, she mutters to herself and disappears.
“Jide…” Mary winces.
“I’m sorry for what happened.”
“Don’t break your head over that morning, Mary. I’ve forgotten it.”
“Seriously, I didn’t know what I was thinking.”
She laughs. “Okay. Yes, that.”
“It would have been a disaster afterwards if we did it.”
“I guess so. Or we would end up falling for each other.”
“I already have fallen for someone else, Mary.”
“I know. I’m just saying.”
“But you were willing to throw away your vow of celibacy just to have me?”
“I didn’t make any vow but I’m not making any excuses for what I did either. I screwed up.”
“Okay, this will hurt, boo. Little Ms. Bitchy Nurse didn’t give me any local anesthesia, so bite on my shoulder or something. I’m about to stitch you up.”
Mary rests her hand on my shoulder and I send in the needle through her flesh. She groans.
“That sound is so sexual,” I tease to ease her pain. She laughs and hits me. “Is that how you would have been moaning if we…?”
She lets out again as I make another stitch but this time she is less loud.
“You’re just a wicked soul, Olajideofor.”
“I know, boo. I’m sorry but I’ll forever tease you for that dangerous stunt you pulled because I know one day you’ll get over this silly crush and find a better man.”
“It’s that supposed to be consoling?”
“I know. By the way, nice peaks.”
She pulls my ear; I drive in the needle mercilessly. She screams. I think I hit a really sore spot.
I finish the work quickly but neatly, and then I cover the area to prevent infection.
“One last ouch,” I say as I prepare a tetanus shot for her. “Left arm, please.”
She turns but I can’t get to the spot on her arm that I need to inject. “Can I unzip your blouse?” I ask.
“Yeah, torture me some more.”
I smile unnoticeably as I unzip her to let her sleeve down.
I administer the shot. “It will hurt for some days. Please, don’t rub it.”
I let the zip up again. “Feel better?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Jide.”
I clean up the mess I’ve made in the tray and turn to see the nurse and two of her colleagues at the door, staring. God knows how long they’ve been standing there.
They all smile at me. The first nurse comes with a file and asks me to fill details of Mary’s treatment, after which she signs her own name. She scribbles on a medication leaflet and passes the leaflet to Mary. As we leave, she asks for my number. I don’t want to be rude, so I give her Honey’s.
“I’ll call you,” she promises as we walk away.
Back on the street, we hit traffic. I start to worry about Honey worrying about me. I would call her but my phone is in her purse. I ask Mary for hers; she tells me she’s out of battery life. We endure the traffic and talk while music plays on the radio. By the time we get to the reception venue, almost everyone is gone. None of my family members are present. I take Mary home and go to my parents’ to drop Oba’s car. There’s a little party there and they invite me to stay but I tell them I need to rest. They inform me Honey left about an hour ago.
I hitch a cab home. As usual, there’s no electricity. It has become the norm in my area these days. As I hike up the stairs, I grumble to myself about being too lazy to service my overworked generator. I let myself into the house and I’m welcomed by the fragrance of scented candles. Honey is not in the sitting room. I find her in my bedroom which is illuminated by candles and moon rays streaming in from one of the windows. She is lying beneath the covers and for a second I think she’s asleep but she stirs.
“You’re back,” she says, without turning.
“I’m sorry, Honey,” I say as I take off my clothes. “Mary got injured and I had to take her to the hospital where I ended up treating her myself. On our way back, we ran into traffic and by the time we got back to the venue, everyone was gone. I’m really sorry.”
Honey stays silent. I sit on the bed, unable to resist the beauty of her silhouette beneath the covers. Without asking, I slip in behind her. I hear her let out a naughty giggle. It isn’t until my hand mistakenly brushes against her nude butt that I realize she is completely naked.
She turns around and kisses me.
“I thought nudity was not allowed,” I remind her.
“The thing is,” she says, drawing lines on my chest, “I’m leaving for London tomorrow night.”
My brows pull together. “Why?”
“I got a letter from management at work. I’m to come and face a disciplinary panel to explain why I assaulted that woman.”
“Didn’t they already do that?”
“But they’ve already suspended you nau. What else do they want?”
“Just normal procedure. The bad news is that I might get my job back and be asked to resume immediately.”
There’s some sadness in her voice.
“Actually, that’s good news, Honey.” I gawk at her lovely face. The glow of the moon gives her a subtle radiance.
“I don’t want to go,” she confesses. “When will I see you again?”
I pull her into my arms; she lifts her head to search my eyes. She wants an answer to her question. I have nothing to say except that I’m going to miss her. I brush my lips over hers gently; my hands feel the smoothness of her bare skin. It is not good for my sanity. I disengage from her clutch and leave the bed. She laments with a moan that drives me directly into arousal.
“I’m sorry, smoochie. I just can’t. I…”
My voice vanishes instantly as she sits up in one swoop and throws the covers off her chest. This is the first time I’m seeing her breasts. Oh sweet lawd! I’m in love!
I’m a tit man. I was breastfed for two years and my mom said from then on I had this habit of grabbing boobs until my dad caned the addiction out of me at the turn of my fourth birthday. Well, he caned the body but not the soul. I still remain loyal. And this is my adulation of my girlfriend’s double D’s—voluptuous, rounded, taut, jutting, heavy, achingly swollen and throbbing. And her nipples—plump, flushed, peaked, pulsing, and of course, waiting. Who knew there were such pleasures beneath all the bras and clothes?
Ladies, my advice to you: STOP. WEARING. BRAS. Really, stop.
“You know I’m leaving tomorrow,” Honey purrs coquettishly and rises to a kneeling position, exposing the lower part of her beautifully-sculpted body. I take two as my eyes fall on her clean-shaven V. I try to look elsewhere. No, actually, I don’t.
“Why are you doing this to me, smoochie?”
She thrusts her lips in a dangerous pucker that snips the last strand of my resistance. My mom’s counsel echoes in my ears but only faintly. Right now, all I want is a dip in Honey’s pot. I dive into the bed and take her down with me. She squeals but I shut her up with just a touch. She hums and purrs all at once, the sound driving me wild.
She bites her lip and drives her fingernails hard into my skin.
“How long has it been?” I ask, my lips between hers.
“Two years.” She’s breathing hard, shivering at each touch.
“Oh, you’re so going to get it.”
I kiss my way down her body. It’s going to be a long night. Tomorrow she’ll be gone and I’ll face the four walls of my loneliness again. How do I stop myself from the emptiness that will fill my days? This woman has brought so much meaning in my life in such a short time. Is there a way I can keep her with me?
She giggles. I’ve touched a sensitive spot.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes and squeals again. “I’m sorry. I’m just so sensitive.”
I stop what I’m doing to stare at her. “Don’t go.”
“What?” she lifts herself up on her elbows.
“Honey, don’t go. You hate that job. You hate the life. It’s taken so much from you and it’s about to take us too. Don’t go.”
“Oh, Jide.” She holds a fistful of her hair and falls back on the bed. “Let’s not talk now. Please! Or I’ll rape you!”
“You said you wanted to start your own travel agency. Kalu can help you with that. There’s no business on this earth he can’t set up.”
“Okay, good. I’ll talk to him but for now, please no more words, Jideofor Onuora.”
She drags me back and locks her legs around me. With hot kisses and ravenous strokes of my aching bulge, she silences me. We devour each other like wildlings. Beneath her sweet, calm exterior is a dirty, sassy lover who takes me and my nastiness without baulking. Her waist is a dangerous tool that undoes me in so many ways. I’m usually not this intense with a woman. Sex, before this, was skillful, yet empty, a way to fill lonely nights that were always plagued with insomnia or nightmares. There was never intensity; it was always detached. But in Honey I don’t need to impress. I close my eyes and I freefall. I don’t need to give. She takes, reaching into me and bringing out that part I have long buried. Nobody needs to tell me I’m in love again.
I hold her tight when we’re done.
“I love you, Jide,” she says in a slur as she shuts her eyes in sleep. I doze off after her and wake up at the rise of daylight. She’s still in my arms. If only there’s a way I can merge her soul with mine and keep her with me.
I hear a sniffle. I pull back and look into her face. She’s sobbing. I say nothing. There has to be a way to keep us together and I’ll find it.
Mom, you’re wrong about this one. Nobody can take her away from me.
Image Credits: solomonpatrick.blogspot.com, onewed.com