Being A Female In Nigeria; The Toughest Thing Ever

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Being a Nigerian and living in Nigeria is very tough. You’re faced with different life challenges that you’re often not prepared for. I’m not saying only Nigerians go through stuff (of course, different people from different walks of life have their own tough challenges) but face it, almost everything is not as easy as it should be. You have to queue for hours and pay excessively for fuel you should be getting cheaply, get home after sitting even longer hours in a bus ride that should not take more than 20-30 minutes, get home to darkness (not that there was electricity before you left home or even the day before then), put fuel in the gen you bought with borrowed money because the government hasn’t paid your salary for months, and you put your TV on to hear some relaxing news, just to hear about fresh bomb attacks that have claimed more innocent lives.

It is frustrating to go through all these, day in day out; you’re tired, cranky, stressed. But you think things are too tough for you? Try being a woman in Nigeria; it is the toughest thing to be, I tell ya. You don’t think so? Take a sneak peek at some of the things we have to go through:

Forget Ambition, Face Family:

Being female in Nigeria means you can’t chase your ambition to the fullest, except of course you want to be single for the rest of your life. Every time you decide to chase one dream or another, people often remind you to take it easy because “men don’t like women that are too successful because you will pose as competition for them and men hate competition”.

Marriage Is The Next Thing After Your B.Sc:

Once you’re done with your university education, marriage should be the next thing on the agenda. Your mum will start bugging you about “who the one is” not minding the fact that she had warned you to stay off boys all your school days. She just wants you bring any man home because once you’re above 25, it will take the grace of God to find a man that will take you to the altar. God bless you  don’t get married by then, it must be your attitude or there’s something spiritual going on with you.

Girls Need All The Moral Lessons, Boys Don’t:

Growing up, you get all the lessons about abstaining from sex, not hanging out with wrong ones and all the morals but your brothers are freed because they can handle “life” while you’re expected to be fragile and gullible. They often hammer this in your ears so you don’t make the wrong mistakes. And that is why it is okay for boys to be promiscuous but you’re a whore for even looking at a guy lustfully.

It Is Your Fault If You’re Abused:

Men don’t get the blame for beating their wives, girlfriends or for sexually harassing an innocent girl; it is the women that get the blame. She must have done something to provoke him enough to beat her or she must have teased him by wearing revealing clothes. There are justifiable reasons why men maltreat women and of course, the women caused it.

You’re Rich? It Must Be Some Sugar Daddy’s Doing:

If you’re a successful woman in Nigeria, you must have screwed some people to reach that height. You can’t even drive a good car or take yourself on an expensive shopping spree, vacation or buy a house, it must be one rich sugar daddy doing the heavy spending. Boys do the same and they go, he is very hard working. I mean, do I have to sleep around to afford the good things of life? I work hard too, you know.

You Can’t Have An Opinion, That’s Being Rude:

As a Nigerian woman, you can’t be opinionated and outspoken, that’s being rude. You have to let the man make the decisions for you or else, you will be single all your life or you will chase him to the arms of another woman.

This is the least of a Nigerian woman’s problem. She’s expected to get married a virgin but be experienced in bed. She is expected to cook, clean, look after the kids and still have sex with her man without complaining no matter how tired she is. A Nigerian woman has to struggle for a job and still lose it because she refused to “rub the back” of the boss. It is not normal for her to want to be in power; that’s being overzealous. Power is meant for the men, oga stay in your lane. She is expected to not be more than her husband; she is expected to live in his shadows. For a Nigerian woman, you have no excuse to not want children especially boys if your husband still wants them. You can’t be barre, even if it is your husband that has the problem and you dare not have children out of wedlock; you’ve automatically become an estranged woman. Trust me, it takes the grace to be a Nigerian and a bigger grace to be a Nigerian woman.

What are the challenges you face as a Nigerian woman? Use the comment box to share your experience with us.

image source: Instagram – @brittlepaper

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words...


  1. I’ve read most of your posts and I really think you are messed up in the head ,and i think its due to you trying to embrace the western culture.I really feel for those who raised you.My advice is that you should go acquire American citizenship, marry a man from there, and neglect your Nigerian roots since its obvious thats what you want.

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