7 Things To Know Before Dating A Single Mom

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Dating a single mom can not be like every normal relationship. It is not the same as dating a single woman. Patience and clear intent is needed.

Her Kids Are Her Priority

The fastest way to end the relationship is trying to outrank her kids. Not only were they in her life first, but she’s the reason they exist at all. She sort of made them. They’re not an inconvenience and they are definitely not your competition in the affair. Always remember that they are her children, her flesh. Even when they wrong you find a pleasant way to correct or scold them. Being too rigid or harsh on them can put the mother off the game. Don’t just understand that they come first, embrace it. She will be so fond of her kids that in almost every conversation you guys have she will point out an issue about them so don’t be angry or feel hurt.

Her Free Time Is Limited

If the single lady you are interested in is also a single mom, there are chances that her free time will be limited. You should be aware that she will be single-handedly managing parenting, a career, and running a household, there’s often not much room for leisure. So when she finds herself without children for a few hours or even a few days, don’t blame her if she has a list of things to do and she didn’t all include you even if that list consists of watching TV and sleeping. You need time together but don’t expect to be the priority on her list always, and don’t get obsessed if she wants to see friends or relax alone. You should have plenty of time to maintain your own friendships and hobbies, instead of being bothered unnecessarily.

Her Ex Lover Might Be Coming Around

You need to be aware that her ex might be paying a visit because of the kids and he might come uninformed sometimes, so be ready. Though situations differ but generally speaking, if your babe has kids, those kids likely have another parent that’s still in the picture in some capacity. This can be challenging in the best, most-amicable of situations. Your lover had a life before you and at some point, that included a partner with whom she had a kid or more.  She loved, she created a family, and at some point, she let go. It’s something to be admired, even if it didn’t end up the way anyone had planned. Move past awkward and move into acceptance. It’s part of the path that brought her to you. Sometimes that can be hard to do, but you can do it. It’s very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, if the kids are still young so get used to it. If she gets along with him, great, be cool. If she doesn’t get along with him, also be cool. Be supportive if she complains about him, but whatever you do, don’t talk badly about him in front of the kids.

The Relationship Can Never Be Perfect

Sharing hobbies and traveling together are important aspects in evolving relationships. They help lovers grow together, experience things, and even help determine compatibility. When you are dating a single mom, those experiences will be few and far between. She might not even have the freedom to make love, cuddle, and sleep next to you whenever you so desire. The benchmarks as a couple will be totally different. Sometimes you might need to go on a trip or vacation with the mother and the kid(s), so be prepared.

READ; How To Know She’s Crazy

You Need To Be Flexible

Flexibility is key when dating a single mom because she is always juggling a lot at once and has no one to share her responsibilities with.  She may be sure one day that she can make plans with you, but have to cancel at the last minute if another appointment comes up, visitation changes at the last minute, or any number of factors that could cancel a date in a heartbeat.  She may not be able to plan too much ahead of time either. Or maybe she can and maybe that’s easiest for her.  Every situation with every single mom is different, but being flexible will make both of your lives a little easier.  You may find you have to meet midweek for lunch instead of Saturday night for dinner, or head to a matinee on the weekend instead of an evening show.  Her priorities may be a little bit different, but that doesn’t mean she’s not looking to go out and have fun. Just be willing to be flexible.

Be Romantic

The single mom will definitely appreciate the romantic attention you provide.  Use your imagination here and be creative.  Romance works best when it is unexpected and not obvious.  That doesn’t mean some flowers won’t go a long way. But send her a sweet text or an email to let her know you are thinking of her, or even just check in sometime to see how her day went.  Small attention to details will sweep her off her feet more than grandiose gestures will.

The Kids Might Not Like You

Take heart in the knowledge that this is not only possible, but likely. It’s a normal rite of passage for kids of single parents, they feel obligated to have some apprehension at first. Knowing that, don’t take it personally.  Talks will resume between mom and the kids as time goes on, but this is an issue with the kids, not with you. You are a threat to their mom’s time, you are a threat to their relationship with their dad, or you are just simply a threat that they don’t welcome.  Let your babe handle this one. If this relationship has longevity, she will work on them.  Keep being genuine, but most of all, have patience.  With time, the kids will learn exactly why she is so crazy about you but don’t feel discouraged

READ; Dear Men, Here Are The List Of Things We Find Unappealing About You. Signed, Women

Dates may have to be rescheduled, phone calls may have to end early. Dates may have to be cut short. You will be put on the back burner from time to time due to her children, her family and friends, her job, her social life. Single moms have many obligations that require her to be split in numerous different ways. Therefore, you have to be willing to be flexible to handle all of the changes. If you initially say that you can handle it, but then realize later on that you can’t, let her know.  No need to waste her time or yours.

 

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Damilola Olajiga

Damilola Olajiga

sweet simple petite fashion freak and a lover of good music.

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