Despite what almost all of us think about men and women, both sexes aren’t that different. The truth is we all live on earth irrespective of our gender, orientation and thought processes; and as such we all are forced to communicate with each other on a daily basis – including procreating and making out. In order to ensure we fulfill our desires, a lot of us do unimaginable things (ladies included) just because matters concerning emotions make us act like fools. When it comes to love, everyone speaks like a fluent moron (apologies Lorelai Gilmore).
Well, we all can get along if we are as honest as possible while making sure that we don’t act like jerks towards one another. And in truth, we guys have a bad habit of acting like jerks while dating. However, all bad habits can be broken if we put our minds to it if we factor in accountability and admitting when you’re wrong. For the benefit of the future and present human race, these are 10 things we guys need to stop doing if we want to be the “nice” guys we mostly claim to be on our dating profiles.
Pretending you’re “into her” just to into her
Men tend to operate under the notion that the only way to get a lady to have sex with them is to trick them into believing they are in love with them and want a future with them. They achieve this by playing somewhat elaborate games that even the best of players would see as been too much. Some guys believe that to get a girl to sleep with them entails treating her as thrash to an extent where she has a lowered self esteem and her only recourse is to adhere to your wants. However, ladies know this trick and the games that follow. Women might want to get laid as much as you want but chances are they’re more likely to do so and feel good about it when you’re upfront about what you want than when you go about it the wrong way. Be cool and honest about it. That’s the best thing to do.
Bullying people into messaging them back on social media
People a lot of the time wade through the misery and sometimes mystery that follows online dating through social media tools. Online dating has a lot of hidden treasures as well as mysteries which includes people you could never see yourself dating. And that’s okay because there will always be someone out there to date them. Unfortunately, people that you seem to have little or no interest in fail to take the hint. And most of the times, guys fall into these shoes. They’d go on and on messaging even when we fall to get a reply. Such guys then go on to complain about how nice they were and how much of a disappointment the lady is. The truth is for one to actually be a nice guy, you don’t have to repeatedly say it as it will be evident to all and sundry. If you really respect her, you’d leave her be and go on to find someone that loves you the way you are.
Making up excuses for why they didn’t call
If you are not into someone, you simply aren’t. It’s not a bad thing not to be. Any human that looks and analyses things in an objective manner would understand that there will always be girls that would flake out by the second date perhaps because they didn’t hit it off with you or because they just weren’t interested in a second date. If you have never had this happen to you, then you probably have a pocket full of gold, diamonds or cash and your face was sculpted by an angel. But some of us who have had that know that women will always offer excuses ranging from being busy at work, having a lot of drama in their lives or having no time to feel anything whatsoever. However, the truth is we don’t have to kill anyone off, instead we can come out upfront and state why it didn’t work out. It definitely isn’t the end of the world and it is sure that people will appreciate you more for telling the truth than being a lying prick who can’t communicate the way they feel about issues.
Lying about wanting a relationship if they don’t.
There will always be an opportunity to figure out what you specifically want out of your dating life. And of course, you’d also have room to see someone while trying to figure out where the relationship is headed. Every relationship you find yourself in is different and so are the needs of each individual one. However. There’s a big difference between having some grey areas while dating and not knowing what you both are to each other and inadvertently leading someone on. As a guy, it’s not advisable when you’re just getting out of a relationship to rush into another one given the fact that you may need some single time just for casual fun. One of the most important things in a relationship is to be with someone who gets the position you’re in and that won’t be possible if you’re giving them what you alone think they want i.e a boyfriend. The best way to find out what they want is through communication which will come through mainly by asking.
To be continued…