Ask NK: Volume 2
NK is someone you can always count on to get you in check because she gives it to you like it is. Each week, you can email a question of your choice and Instagram name to firstname.lastname@example.org for her honest thoughts and opinions. NK will respond to three questions on Saturdays and give those special 360Nobs readers a shout out on her post. She’s leaving no stone unturned and answering all your questions about entertainment, relationships, friendships, sex, love, education and much more. Ask away and don’t hesitate!
How are you? My boyfriend and I just started dating a few months ago. His house is very dirty and he wants me to come over all the time! I hate going over there because it is not clean at all at all. How do you think I should handle this? I like him a lot, but I don’t want him to get upset.
My dear, ogini kwa? Please no oh! I rebuke that kind of environment for you! I definitely understand that this is a sensitive topic, but you have to address it immediately. Don’t just start talking about it yet. Wait until the next time he asks you to come over.
When you get by his door, don’t enter! He will ask “What’s wrong?”. Answer by asking him “Have you cleaned up yet?”. He will be puzzled, because he probably has no idea of what you’re talking about. Start off by reminding him that you truly care about him and want to see your relationship succeed, but he has to respect the fact that you’re a lady and his girlfriend. We don’t know about his past girlfriends, but you would like him to clean up his apartment so you feel comfortable hanging out with him in his house. It’s even good for his own general sanitation abeg. Trust me, he’ll get the hint and change his ways if he’s truly a keeper!
NK, I visited you blog and it’s quite enjoyable. The post “Your punani is the beans” was hilarious. I wanted to know how comfortable you were discussing such a topic with your aunty.
Lol Martha! My aunty and I have a very close relationship. I know that Nigerian relatives can be quite strict and keep to themselves about boys and sex, but you’ll be surprised at how many of them are open to such discussions. I’ve always been the most outspoken person in my family and feel comfortable enough to talk about relationships, sex and dating with my family members (maybe just not with my father yet…lol).
Hey Nikolai. My girlfriend’s birthday is coming up, but I’m not sure what to get her. She is very quiet and isn’t quite expressive. We’ve been together for a year, but she’s hard to read. I want to get her something special, what do you recommend I do?
Emmanuel my brother, you are not alone in this struggle. You guys need to start doing your homework though. This was the same situation one of my friends encountered not too long ago. His girlfriend sounds exactly like yours. I would suggest you ask one of her friends or a family member for help. You don’t want her getting any hints, so be sure to make it ‘clear’ that your discussions should be kept private. Don’t be nervous or embarrassed when you approach them, so be honest about what you’re asking them. It sounds like you really like this girl and don’t want to disappoint her.
I love it when a guy gets creative with gifts as well. I’ll tell you what I did to help out my friend. I created a chain message on WhatsApp and sent it to her (it sounds silly, but people actually participated). I didn’t know much about his girlfriend, because she’s quite reserved. Simple questions about her favorite color, food, accessories and styles were key to getting the right gifts. His girlfriend had no idea that this was part of my plan. From the information I got, I helped my friend order a necklace with her birthstone in it, personalized name key chain and perfume sets. His gifts were not only visually attractive, but held sentimental values. She loved these gifts and fell in love with him even more. It was a really special experience and he was elated that he had asked for help! Hope this helps my dear.