The most frustrating thing for a woman during sex is a man that cannot last in bed. I am very sure every woman who has been and is sexually active has at least encountered such a man.
A Little Info on Premature Ejaculation
According to Wikipedia, premature ejaculation is a broad term that many doctors and specialists consider to exist when a man reaches climax before his sexual partner does in more than 50% of their bedroom encounters. PE has likewise been labeled as occurring if a man attains climax within two minutes of penetration. A study by Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s established that up to three quarters of men in the world usually attain climax within two minutes.
Hence, chances are that if you are a man reading this, you are part of that statistic or if you’re a woman, you have met such a man. All healthy men have gone through some form of poor bedroom performance at some point in the lives. There is no shame there. A lot of women fail to realize that most times, when these things happen, they are not deliberate or done out of selfishness. However, if a man excuses himself and continues, then dude is selfish. There is no excuse for a full-blooded man to last two minutes in bed if he’s not doing a quickie. Even a quickie should last longer than that.
Professionals have come to agree that knowing about timing and understanding the body’s motions are the best method to attain longer lasting sex. It’s a bad habit when men act like zombies in bed. We get so carried away that we move from 0 to 120 without much thought. We have been told that to last longer, we have to think about stuff that can tune off our minds from reaching orgasm but that is not true. To last longer, a dude’s gotta focus on when that orgasm is about to occur and do something about it.
Now, this is where I come in with my own tips that have helped me and are helping men out there. Some are unconventional. But they work.
Whether you think it’s good or not, it helps. I could give you a good list of the benefits of masturbation but not today. Now, during the act itself, do not gear towards an orgasm. Think of your woman’s orgasm. Keeping in mind that females last longer, you will have to work yourself to building up her imaginary orgasm in your mind. Start with five minutes. Bring yourself close to climax and stop. Breathe for some seconds and start again, climaxing only when your five minutes are up. Next time, go for 7, 10, 12, 15 minutes.
- Kegel Exercises
Women are not the only ones who need this. Men need it to. While for the woman it helps in tightening the vagina, for men it tightens the muscles that are responsible for ejaculatory control. And it’s simple to do. While urinating, stop midstream by contracting the muscles responsible for stopping urine. Once you have mastered the technique, you can do this anywhere, at any time and you’ll notice that the next time you feel like ejaculating, there’s an immediate instinct to want to stop it by squeezing those muscles.
For me, foreplay involves four things. And that’s why I call it Fourplay – Your brain, your hands, your mouth and your penis. You cannot concentrate on your penis alone. It comes last (pun intended). Start with your brain: tackle your confidence or lack of it. Too much of ego will make you lose control; too little and it’s the same result. Relax. Get into the mood. Get to know that woman in your arms. Forget about your orgasm and think about hers first. Use your hands: touch, rub, caress, stroke, finger. Use your mouth: kiss, nibble, lick, suck. Employ your penis: yes, you can use it for foreplay around the clitoral area. Sexuality expert Catherine Toyooka, founder of Catherine Coaches Sex workshops says, “Try teasing her. Take your penis out and rub just the head of it sensually up and down and between her labia. Vaginas have lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their vaginal canal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.”
- Take it Slow
One of the funniest things I’ve heard is from a friend while in school, back in the day. Bragging to us around a beer table, he was talking about how he was ‘hitting the roof’ of some girl’s vagina during sex. I mean, come on, hitting the roof? No, you start slow. Don’t go deep at the first few thrusts. Stroke, don’t stab, don’t jab. If you feel you’re about to cum, stop and hold yourself inside the woman. Kiss her, touch her, talk to her and when you feel you can handle it, start again.
- Just the Tip
Deep thrusts can be killers. If you feel yourself coming close to an orgasm too early, withdraw and go shallow. The thing is shallow thrusts give you contact with her g-spot which is located at the roof of her vagina. Try reaching for it with gentle strokes and only with the tip of your penis. When you notice she appreciates your efforts, your mind will be employed to pleasure her more and your orgasm will not be the utmost goal.
If you feel you’re about to shoot off your load,stop and squeeze the underside of the head of the penis. That spot is populated with nerves. You have seen porn stars do it when they stop and pull out. What this does is that it shoves blood out of the penis and temporarily inhibits ejaculatory reaction.
- Chill on the Porn
As much as porn helps, it also kills. First of all, porn movies are still movies and they use a lot of tricks. There’s something called Doggystyle Medley and they use camera angles to do trick shots. In such cases, the guy is not even in the chick but it is made to look like he’s doing all the work. And most times, these actors use Viagra. They don’t last as much as they would have you believe. And the notion that hardcore, mindless sex is all a guy needs, tends to teach you to be selfish in bed. So don’t rate your performance with porn; it’s like rating your life with a character in a movie. In addition, porn pushes you into masturbating excessively which is very dangerous for your sex life. It gives you a picture of what you think sex should be and once that gets stuck in your head, you will not enjoy ‘love-making’ or appreciate the woman you are with.
- Be Easy on Dangerous Positions
Missionary and Doggystyle are bad guys. They will get you there faster than you can say hoo-ha. Until you have learned to control yourself, you need to chill on them and look for positions that give you moderate pleasure and more work. You can then finish off with a doggy. Alternatively, you could ask your woman to stay on top. Although some guys like me who have dangerous wives would argue that is not the best, sex experts say it is less stimulating for men.
- Masturbate a Few Minutes Before You Begin.
This doesn’t work for me. It makes me dull. But I have friends who swear by it. So, you could try cleaning the tubes beforehand because we all know the second round always lasts longer.
10. Try Extended Pleasure Condoms
What these condoms do is that they reduce the stimulation of the nerve at the tip of the penis and it in turn delays orgasm. The good side of it, besides prolonging your stamina, is that your partner will not know that you’re using something special.
So that’s it. There are other weird techniques but I’ll bring them some other day.
Love right. Love safe.