Everyone including geeks have a friend that ranks above the rest. The best friend serves as your confidant and someone you are free around. Such people get so entrenched in our lives that they almost become a part of us. However, there comes a time when certain issues begin to arise that begin to strain what we think is a lifelong relationship. These issues don’t necessarily mean that the friendship has come to an end (even though it may have in some cases), it may mean our best friends just require a bit of space from us.
These are the 7 signs that show our best friends need some space to be alone.
They always need your approval
If you find out that your best friend always needs your approval to carry out even the simplest of tasks in their lives, then it might be time to give them space. Some of the simple tasks and decisions may include what kind of bathing soap to use, what kind of guy/girl they should date, in what way they should respond to relationship and sexual advances from the opposite sex etc. The fact that they rely heavily on you to make decisions is bound to make you feel guilty if you don’t respond to their calls and messages as soon as you see them.
It’s always about them
If you find out that no matter what you achieved, everything still centers around your friend, then it’s perhaps time to give them some space. Imagine you just got a promotion at work or graduated with top honours from your university and your friends still manages to change the focus from your achievements to themselves. Or when you’ve got a bad day and you’re not feeling too well and all they do is rant about how their lives suck instead of focusing on you. You clearly need some space from such people.
They make you feel guilty almost on a regular basis
Maybe you decided to spend time with your significant other or you asked other friends to come along with you to a place you planned to go with them. They make you feel a considerable level of guilt for skewing the plans. They see your actions as betrayal and they may even go on to give you a speech on how you need to be considerate and how they thought you’d always be there for them. Give such friends space now.
You hold back on telling them great things in your life to avoid upsetting them
Because things are not going on too well for them, you hold back on the news of your achievements and successes so as not to upset them. You might find yourself leaving out information about your achievements at work, getting admitted into a prestigious university or what’s going on between you and your spouse. You find yourself leaving out anecdotes about your significant other, your promotion at work or getting into a prestigious university program because you know such news will hurt and make them unhappy. As time goes on however, you find out that withholding news about your general well-being will stress you out as you continually have to filter the things you say around them.
The negatives of the friendship begin to significantly outweigh the benefits
The moment you can’t remember when last you enjoyed looking forward to making plans with your friends, then it’s time to keep some distance. When you look at your phone and you see messages or calls from them and you feel stressed to call them back, the negatives have built up and you’re no longer feeling the friendship.
You start making up excuses to get not to meet with them
When you find out that you’re convinced that you need space from them in other for you to clear your head about the path that the friendship is headed, then that’s the time to actually give that space. You realise that you have almost the same level of dread as the one you had when you wanted to call off a relationship that was toxic.
You’re not appreciated
You really do need to stay away of you find out that despite the fact that you give a sizable amount of your time and efforts to the friendship and your friend doesn’t seem to appreciate it. Such friends never see the amount of devotion and energy you put into the friendship neither will such ever be enough.
Lastly, know that you can hardly remember those things you cherish about the relationship and the memories of the wonderful times you had are far off in the recesses of your mind. Give some space and reevaluate if you still want what you had with them.