Things Couple Do That Irritate Single People
Before I start, I will like to say that whatever I’m going to write may sound a little like bad-belleism but hey, you will also agree with me that these couple behaviours are very very irritating:
– Getting All Mushy In Public: nobody is trying to tell you to not look into each other’s eyes or hold hands or kiss in public but please, keep it down, people are watching. You don’t need to swallow each other’s tongues and smooch in public, save all that for your private rendezvous; we don’t need to be a spectator to something that should be between you guys alone.
– Calling Each Other Pet Names In Public: this is just as irritating as the excessive public display of affection. We can deal with the regular “baby”, “sweetheart”, “darling” and even “bae” but don’t go overboard with private pet names that gets us wondering what the meaning is and how the name came about.
– Laughing at private jokes: what are you trying to do? Make me feel bad that there’s nobody in my life to share secret jokes with? Don’t tell private jokes in public and laugh at it all by yourself, it makes us look clueless or dumb for not grasping the joke.
– Playing Matchmaker: I’m single, I know but must you rub it in by making me feel like I can’t get a man on my own? Stop it, mbok. Don’t hook me up with all your friends. I may not be happy single but I’m not hopeless, I can get a man on my own; maybe just later than you hoped.
– Faking Being Happy: your real life relationship is so sad and you’re not happy with your man yet your facebook wall and instagram page is telling another story of a happy girl who is head over heels in love. Who are you kidding? Lol. We all know the #YingToMyYang #LifePartner #Best Friends hashtags are as fake as your relationship, so drop the act already.
– No More Hanging Out: it is really annoying when you can’t hang out with your friend as you used to just because they found someone and when you get to hang out, they are buried deep in their phones “keeping the boo” posted on things happening around. Can’t we just have a regular outing where we don’t have to feel like the boo is hiding somewhere ready to pop out any minute? Come on, it is very uncomfortable for us to deal with.
– Playing The Relationship Expert: it is annoying when your friend suddenly starts dishing out unsolicited relationship advice especially on how to get and keep a man as if there’s something you are doing wrong that’s keeping you single. Come on, you used to be like me, remember. Cut me slack and stop with the advice. It is as irritating as getting nonstop calls from a marketer advertising romantic getaway for two, I don’t need it.
– When The Buddy Turns To A Stranger: I know it is cool to want to please your man and be the best woman for him but do you totally have to give up your own self just to be accepted by him. It is totally annoying when your friend stops doing something she really loves just to please her man. Come on, be a better you but not a stranger to your own self.
– When I/My Becomes We/Our: I know you’re in a relationship and you’re excited too, we don’t need the constant reminder by replacing every I statement with we “We love french fries” “Our favourite author”. It is really annoying. We are happy you found the love of your life but we don’t want you to rub you happiness in our faces, so keep the “we statements” to the barest minimum.
You can also stop trying to finish each other statements or gushing about your partner every chance you get; which is basically all the time. Stop posting all your cheesy pictures online; he is romantic, awww very sweet, but some things are best kept private. I know you may think these things are cute and sweet, yes, they actually are but when you do it all the time, it becomes annoyingly unbearable. We don’t need to be reminded of how boring and loney the singledom can sometimes be.