This is a somehow touchy topic for me as one ugly incidence with excessive public romance has left a huge scar on my mind; so huge that it has strengthened my resolve not to be one of those people who can’t get their hands off their partner and has sometimes given me nasty nightmares too. Not that I’ve always hated PDAs; prior to the incidence, I enjoyed being pecked on the cheeks, lingering light kisses on the lips, held, hugged and all those subtle touchy-feelies in public.
To an extent, it is a romantic way to announce your relationship to the world without having to say anything. People see you loving up and they automatically know that these people are in love and in a relationship. More than I would love to admit, it made me feel very special and protected, like my guy is silently saying “this is my girl and I am not afraid to show her to the world”. It was a sweet feeling and I craved it like a sweet tooth that couldn’t do without her favourite flavoured candy. Well, not anymore. Thanks to two couples I met on a beach one day, I find public display of affection very very repulsively annoying (pardon that sentence, that’s the only way to describe how I feel).
I was walking on the beach one day with the bae, enjoying the gentle sea breeze and the feel of wet sand under my feet when we jammed these couples sitting on the shore and “enjoying the head of their lives” or so they would have thought in their minds except it was the most disgusting I’d ever seen in all my adult years (I will try and describe the scene as apt as I can so you can a vivid picture of what I am saying). There were two couples sitting by the shore. For afar, it looked as if they were just enjoying the water but they were not, they were practically almost having sex without any care in the world. The first couple was a bit subtle; deep lips chewing (not kissing) and breast grabbing but the second was worse. It was as if they were aiming to win an award or something for their act. Bae could not even stand the whole thing but as a “gbeborun” lover, I watched till I was too disgusted to stand the whole stuff.
The guy was on boxers and the girl was on “singlet” (all those black underwears with very thin lacy sleeves. I think yorubas call it shimi) and something that looked like a pant; not so sure about that because the guy was all over the babe. This guy would chew the babe’s lips, lick sand and salty water with sea weeds and all off her neck, smooch the breast and then repeat the action. He did that four times or so and then suddenly removed the girl’s boobs from her bra and was sucking it as if it was a jar of oxygen. Jesus! I was so shocked. And the girl was just there writhing in the water like a jelly fish as the boy put her full breasts out for everyone to see.
The whole thing looked like a scene from a poorly made Mexican soap or vintage pornographic movie. The only thing they did not do was have sex which got me wondering why people would waste their time getting so horny in public and then take an uncomfortable ride home where there may be no other help apart from “palmela”. Maybe these couples that indulge in excessive PDAs don’t mind the discomfort but we the spectators mind. It is by far not a romantic thing at all. There is a lot we can take from couples who act as if they are in heat but going all the way to bring the private business to the public view, nope, we won’t take that.
Leave it to nollywood, hollywood and all the woods to show us how sappy it can be to be in love. We’ve been served a lot of soft porn by the media, we don’t need a real life action. Public display of affection is supposed to a show of love, to ascertain your partner that you’re all in with her. Biko, it is not a show of who knows how to kiss or smooch best. Save all that for when you’re alone. It is not romantic at all, it is very disgusting.