Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married To A Nigerian Man

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It is no doubt that Nigerian men make wonderful lovers; they are sweet, kind, thoughtful, maybe not very romantic but romantic still and good in bed too. It is also no doubt that these men are very rare to come by in Nigeria. Maybe by default or societal conditioning, most Nigerian men are so not it; they are egoistic, chauvinistic and make terrible husband materials. You wonder why I think Nigerian men; at least most of them, won’t make good husbands, read the reasons listed below:

 

-They Are Chauvinists: pardon the strong word “chauvinists” but Nigerian men prefer to stick to their bias opinion about women and their responsibilities in the home. They take the “head” duty way too serious and often push the women aside expecting them to follow their will and do as they say. If you marry a Nigerian man, you will probably end up as the less important voice in the home rather than as the partner you are to him.

 

– They Are Polygamous In Nature: In Nigeria, some men believe men are entitled to as many women as they can handle and so, they are free to marry more than one wife or have affairs with other women. With a Nigerian man, it is never certain that you will be the only woman in his life. To save yourself the heartbreak of discovering condoms and hotel receipts in his pocket or worse, finding out he has secret children, please do not marry a Nigerian man.

 

– They Are Not Romantic: you want flowers, a guy to follow you to the salon, exotic lunches, dinners, vacations, chocolates and breakfast in bed? Then, a Nigerian man is not the man you should marry. They often consider these things as cheesy and unnecessary. Maybe they will try on your birthday and Valentine’s Day (that’s if they don’t come up with excuses to forget). The most romantic thing some Nigerian men will ever get for you is packs of food from an eatery or drinks and few back/foot rubs just right before sex.

 

– You Will Be A Nanny To A Grown Man: if God blesses you with a Nigerian man and a somehow scattered one, you are in soup. You’ve just graduated to being a nanny to a full grown man. You will pick his socks, shirts and what not after him when he gets back from work, even flush the toilet when he’s done. Be ready to face a sulking man if the food is not ready on time or you try to get him to do something for you when his favourite game or TV show is on. You will have to pet and stroke his ego almost all the time to make him happy.

 

– They Have The Wife Beating Syndrome: either by societal conditioning or home training, some Nigerian men believe it is very normal to hit a woman; that is the only way to put them back on track when they are wrong. It is no secret that some Nigerian men will beat their wives and feel no regret about it; it is somehow the woman’s fault the man is so angry to the extent he has to hit her. If you’re not ready to lose your fine skin to the itchy palms of a man, please steer clear of Nigerian men.

 

They are also good liars. They smoke and drink heavily and blame it on the society’s deteriorating condition; they have to “keep body and soul together”. Many Nigerian men have money problem; it is either they are misers or heavy spenders. Some prefer to show off the wealth they do not possess by living way beyond their standards. And the most annoying part is that many Nigerian men are Mr nice guy in public and Mr stingy in their homes which you will agree is not a very attractive trait especially in someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

 

I know by now, some guys are already hissing and cursing me probably but it is undeniable that many Nigerian guys have terrible attitudes that make them really undesirable husband materials. I mean, it is tough enough we have to cope with the many issues in the country, men problems should not be added to our weighty wahala. We deserve men who understand us (at least to a reasonable extent), shower us with the affection we need, pamper us and make us feel very special and loved but how many Nigerian men can beat their chests that they can be the man of our dreams or at least, part of the dreams?!!

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words... www.theinkheartnlog.com

166 comments

  1. What about the reasons You should not get married to a Nigerian girl?
    Dated a lady for five year. And it turns out I’m the one who was a lady in the relationship. She cheated on me with five guys, lied to me after all these I forgave her only to get a break up notice after a few weeks with she having the guts to say all guys are the same after the guy who she was cheating on me with broke her heart? Please tell me why I should trust one? -_-

  2. This article is absolutely ridiculous, please don’t even give yourself the title of nerd because a nerd would be educated enough not to make such rash unfounded, sweeping generalisations. It was similar useless cretin-like arguments such as these that were used to justify slavery, colonialism and apartheid against black people. I appreciate you may have had some or witnessed bad experiences but please stop disgracing your heritage with this nonsense. Men are men, there are good and bad, just as with women. One day you will have a Nigerian son as will I and I suggest we as the younger generation try to be the change or raise the change we wish to see in our men.

    1. I was actually looking for the “like” button on this comment as well… Really? How do you expect to train up your nigerian male child with your mind already made up. This article was probably written after a few bottles of wine, because i really think no educated sane woman would go to this extent. I was really waiting for the conclusion to incorporate the change we want to see in our children, but this is really a bitter article, in all its ramifications. P.S. I am a Nigerian Woman and i would stick with my Nigerian Man any day!

      1. @T…. Relieved to see someone sensible and reasonable like you still do exist….. unlike those who makes assumptions based on a botched one night stand…. .

      2. hai everybody i dont even know if the msg will go through,but if it does here i go…Am a southarfrican am in a soup for loving a Nigerian man its been almost 4years now.i tell u my sisters there is nothing i haven’t seen,just as this ARTICLE say its all true i have suffered in my own country from a NIGERIAN fool how do theyraise these men in Nigeria?and as filthy as their behaviour is they want a GOOD WOMAN,,,,,can u believe the nerve they have?i wish isaw this article 3years back i wouldnt have even believed coz of love CHAAAAiiiiii NAIJA BROS how women love u its pathetic to even see

        1. thers no smoke without fire i hate love bcos a Nigerian man he is draining even if u pray for him to change which is what i’ve been doing all these years.and Naija men if u dont know what to say dont comment coz all u do is condoning this your bad behaviour to women of other countries..and its not good at all u make nigerians smell like the SHIT they represent in other countries.u like travelling so much as if u represent goodness sis i curse the day i laid my eyes on a NIGERIAN MAN i wish u could all leave my country before u do this to my little sisters

      3. T, I am intrigued you are saying this. I am not sure which planet you are living on, if you do not see these things that are written above happen in Nigeria. That is not to say all Nigerians are as described, these qualities are threaded through the Nigerian society. Our culture has made it so.

        Will you say you are not aware that not too many years ago, if a Nigerian man exhibited romance towards his wife in the presence of his family, helped his wife to do anything in the home, or did not have other women, his family would frown against it?

        These are not the words of a drunken person, someone who is uneducated and definitely not the result of a one night stand.

        It is a cultural thing and what is bad is bad..

      4. I’m married to a Nigerian man and this article just described my husband, and it maybe son good Nigerian men but the ones in America are actually what he decries in the article.

  3. Looking for the ‘ like ‘ button. This is more than hitting the nail on the head. Good parenting advice for our single ladies. Awesome post.

  4. This is a foolish and absolutely ridiculous write up. how do these facts that you have made only apply to Nigerian men? did you take a survey? have you dated 2100 of them? where is the evidence to support this? you are obviously talking from you past bitter experience because these “facts” can totally be turned around and applied to women as well. I have been the neatest in all my relationships, i don’t drink and I don’t smoke and those are 3 facts on this page, so this your article is a foolish uneducated opinion.
    Try to make logically and educated arguments next time. please don’t ever do this again. thank you.

    1. Casper, if you have nothing to say, keep quiet.

      You remind me of my Nigerian friend in England here: When I tried explaining to a white colleague what it is like for ‘NEPA’ to take light in Nigeria, my Nigerian friend said I should not tell people that NEPA takes light in Nigeria, as it portrays a bad image on the country!

      Yet it is a fact that NEPA takes light in Nigeria. Same thing with this issue…

      Casper, there is nothing wrong in calling a spade a spade.

  5. U just write rubbish and then post. Nonsense! Even a white man is polygamous in nature. Is it only a Nigerian man that is polygamous? What about other African men. whatever you see today didn’t just originate from this era, king Solomon had so many concubines, king David his father took the wife of his own soldier. Every man has this nature and women are more dangerous than men. U all just hate Nigerian men cos we r on top of the game.

    1. No. You’re disliked because you’re unscrupulous, dishonest, irresponsible, immature and generally nasty. Nothing stops you from exploiting and bleeding everything dry for your own selfish whims and gains, including women. You don’t care about anything else but your pride in your misplaced, distorted perception of your own manhoods. That’s the truth. Sadly, it’s the scummiest of the bunch that define how Nigerian men are perceived by the rest of the world, not the genuinely good ones. I only wish and hope more of the good ones move more into the foreground.

    2. And what ‘game’ are you ‘on top of’, exactly? Your country’s still a complete dumpster! Other African countries are making their marks earlier and more prominently in the business world than Nigeria is. All that Nigerian men, predominantly, are doing is spreading out to other countries and exploiting them for personal benefit, all the while having the audacity to bellyache about and rubbish them while delusively proclaiming that Nigeria is the ‘best country in the world’. Yeah, so great, of course, that you can’t help but abandon your own country, implant yourselves elsewhere and when it comes to your visas running out, you fight tooth, nail, hair and skin to remain, either by perpetual study or recklessly latching onto indigenes and marrying/impregnating them in order to protest any deportation on the basis of ‘family life’. GTFOH.

  6. People with little brain write for others with no brain at all. The writer has a limited brain as big as that of “eja efolo” (fish).

  7. Just saw this article and thought to myself, the writer must have been hurt….but hey, not all men are like the ones who made you write all these crap, and it is very stupid to categorize all Nigerian men due to you got burnt by just one.
    Whether you believe it or not, we are the most dependable men you can ever meet, for instance, Chinese men, make their women share their meal bill equally, and they are even cool with it. If a Nigerian man ask you to share the bill you will conclude he is stingy, but then you want him to bow to you too….. pls sit your dumb ass down…. am pissed at this crap article. And for all of you saying this is a good post..pls get something better to read…. not all Nigerian women are hoes, and sluts and whores…i met the good ones too…but still lot of skanks over there…looking for who to suck dry.

  8. i am sure not all Nigerian men are like this but, i was married to a Nigerian, he was lovely in the beginning, got married and that’s really when things changed. i totally understand he has to support mom back home, but not to the point that we are suffering here and any money he gets is sent to his mom, his sister and dad. in the beginning i was working, and had another job on the side so money was good, but i got sick and couldn’t work, money got tight and i didnt have money for him to send home and there started the problem. he became distant, stopped doing things with me, was never at home, bedroom stuff didn’t happen n he stopped sleeping in our bed.

    mental abuse was an everyday thing, he isolated me from friends. when i stayed quite or did what he wanted all was ok, but if i questioned things that were not adding up he would ignore me as if i was not even in the room. his family were always ringing complaining about money, his sister never accepted me as i am white, i tried to do everything to make him happy, i even displease myself and my children to make him happy but it was never any use.

    he was like a spoilt child. it was either his way or the highway. every time we had problems his answer was i don’t want to be with u. always running away from problems, this is a guy i have given him plenty of money for his mothers rent, medication and food, giving him money, he was on lots of dating sites, texting other women for more than a year and a half, he stopped cause i found them as he left his email opened. i was told to get over myself. i was 36 weeks pregnant at the time.he did not get on with the children i had from another relationship and his way of getting them to do as he said was to put fear into them. the were afraid to do and say anything.

    if you complained about anything he would take what you say and twist it saying nothing close to what you said. i was beaten more than once by him, told i was damaged goods and i was broken before he met me and that he was just trying to put my pieces back together, he never worked as long as we were together but expected me to. i could keep going but u get the gist. we had a baby together and he never did anything with her, if he did anything in the house i was told i should be grateful. i was patient as i could but things just got worse and worse and the only person he was worried about was his mom, which i appreciate, i lost my mom so i know her value and respect that he must help, but he ran our lives into the ground, ye are not all the same but i will watch my step if i ever decide to date in the future,,,

    1. to all that say this is a good post, ask yourself, am i a good wife? what kind of husband is my father? please change your ways, it just might be good enough for you and your marriage……

  9. It’s all the gods will to whom one should be marrd to. There r good and bad people in every culture. It’s not a right thing in generalising the facts like these. I’m an indian in a blessed relationship with a Nigerian.

  10. I am thinking of marrying an Igbo guy. He told me I have to undergo a test of fetching water from the river, chopping wood and cooking in the village to earn his tribe leader’s blessings to marry him. At the same time, he said that I can never get a traditional marriage since I am a foreigner. Maybe a white wedding. I am confused. I don’t know what is true.

  11. All lies!Im married to a igbo man and hes wonderful.all men and races have bad and gòod,I would never trade my caring husband in!

  12. I agree wholeheartedly with this post. I remember how I used to delude myself that Nigerian guys were the only one for me. Nowadays I wouldn’t mind marrying a white guy. Just look at this post I read just TODAY!!!

    http://www.nairaland.com/1976815/things-men-consider-before-committing

    Really??? A woman shouldn’t have more than one degree??? If she’s overly educated that’s a turn off??? And the one that all Nigerian guys carry on their head: She must be a virgin and wait too have sex with his oh-so-experienced self. Who is he getting the experience from? animals? His fellow guys? Who?? And why should I have sex with him if he’s not willing to have sex with those he’s disvirgined?? Nigerian guys are a serious headache. Not too mention after all the rules and regulations, they’ll still cheat on you or marry a second wife. What white guy would say he wouldn’t date a girl because she has a masters degree? Sha, sadly I know my destiny is with a Nigerian guy. May I just find one that won’t stress my life. God bless men like my father and may my brother grow up to be a sensible and respectful man also.

  13. I can see now dat everyone’s opinion is based on their xperiences, including dis poster. Men r nt d same.NIGERIA is 2 dynamic.

    1. I am a foreign woman currently in love with a Nigerian man for the past 3 years the first year was hell he lied cheated but I still forgave him being the loving person I was 2nd year he decided to settle down but it was too late for e as I had already disregarded him because he is so rough so disrespectful always gives excuses can never get things done properly and always compares e to his ex of which his ex dumped him because of the reasons stated in this article and he though he jpt telling me that I should appreciate him for what??
      There’s nothing he did for me I can’t do for myself and continued to overpower to prove to me that I had no say
      Third year I pitied him.no more I decided to tell him I’m.leaving him amd he began to cry but I knew it was all pretence that’s what his known for I left and I can proudly say I’m in a relationship with someone so loving and nurturing and does what all men are supposed to do without screaming it in your ear as if its a big thing I wasted my 3 years with a Nigerian man ladies please know your worth

  14. I have been married to a Nigerian man.Everything in the post is true my advice to girls is do not waste ur life marring a Nigerian man.They may look so loving but they are like weather.They have a lot of anger.I left him before and went back to him again big mistake of my life.We have two boys but I need leave him again for good this time.I feel good reading this post for I thought I was the problem.As I write the couch is full of his clothes I need to pick.Thanx for the post

    1. Absolutely the TRUTH. Been with one 10 years. They get into relationships to see what they can get from her…what she will do for him……NOT what he can do for her. They are immature in everyway and not romantic OR good in bed. How can they be….its always..ALL about them. Welcome to Nigerian men. Stay away. They dont know what True love is nor do they care. A lovibg husband serves Gid first and his wife second. Wont find this with a Nigerian. I have all girls…and they are not allowed to marry Nigerian….if tjey do….at least i have warned them.

  15. for me this may sound true because i witnessed a Nigerian man in my home country: Ghana treating his wives as if he were some sought of house girl or his slave. He did it to the extent that he even slapped his fellow man who looked at him because his he thought he was familiar to him. Since then all the neighbors look at him strangely and do not want to relate with him because he talks to every one harshly and disrespectfully. He once did that to my mother who could give birth to him but you know what: she gave it to him! She put him in his rightful place. Since then he has never being able to look at her face directly. Anyway, i do not think all Nigerian men are like that. I believe there are a few among the lot who fear God enough,are patients,kind and considerate to treat women humanely. Like their own flesh. By the way,sorry baby if any has broken your heart, please forgive okay?

  16. Unfortunately, I am a rejected birth daughter of a sorry ass Nigerian man. I only wished that my mother had the common sense to have stayed away from Africans! I would have been better off being mixed with white or Latin American!

  17. The foolish people getting offended by this article must be Nigerian men!! Guilty of all the above and too ashamed and useless to curb their behavior. I think women of nowadays are starting to care less about what people say outside and thus r less willing to stay with a Nigerian twat of a man. When there are sexy. Latin, akata, white men all about. I’m going back home to find me a Naija man because it seems like the devil u know is better than the angel u dunno. I’m hoping that God helps me and guides me to find a really good Naija man. I pray he doesn’t hit me, because the day any man hits me is the day he will lose his hands. Just saying.

  18. Hi,I have not experienced this with my Nigerian fiance I am a American woman he sweet tells me loves me everyday sure he is Stubborn as a ox ,but so am I I stand up to him on every subject He said he likes that i am strong and stands up to him he doesn’t want a weak woman so you can’t say that about all Nigerian men!!!!

      1. No not yet Princess T, and if he does act up I will leave him I am a very strong woman and I will not Condone any foolishness from him!!!!!

  19. Very true about Nigerian men ill never look they way my mom is married to one an he posses all these traits…..

  20. I can agree with some. I am in a relationship now with an Igbo man. He has problems communicating when it comes to our relationship. He get upset when I call him out on the things that bother me. But if he tells me my flaws I’m suppose to take that and be ok. When I stand up and be honest about him, he feel I’m insulting him and mean. Always want me to support his business but never shows he is financially stable. I never understood why he never want to talk when it is important to me but want me to listen when it is important to him. He shows as a weak minded little boy and not a man that can handle a lot of things. I admit at first he was very sweet and all the bells and whistles. The more I get to know him the more I see that there are flags I wish to avoid. I love him but never understood why he acts the way he does. I can only pray it work but if not I can only move forward. I am not bashing but it is tough when joining two cultures that live two different patterns of life. A cultural difference makes it challenging. I agree there a good and bad in all countries and walks of life. But life experiences also teach us to be aware of things before going to far. My experience thru this has been to listen closely, be willing to ask questions, keep God in the center of everything and be honest with each other. Its not easy to love but when you do you want respect, be appreciated and have understanding no matter what culture you are from. No offense to any culture. But in the end the ultimate is we all want to be loved.

    1. I am in a similar situation as yours, I am dating an Igbo guy been with him for a while. This is my first relationship with a Nigerian guy and I was never interested in the money but to be taken care of and loved. We had good times but recently he has just been abusive, emotionally and physically. I should never have an opinion about anything, not even to try make him aware of the things he does that hurt me. When I do try communicate, like how any normal couple should be doing i am told to have issues, to like stirring up trouble, to be nagging. In fact sometimes when he wrongs me i end up apologizing for making him angry. I thought i could change him by showing him i am a good woman, i have a stable career, i don’t have a child out of marriage. But non of my good characteristics are good enough for him. As much as the relationship has been hard work , i never associated him as the type that cheats, until recently when i went to his apartment to find a pack of used condoms that was not ours. I confronted him about it he said he doesn’t know anything about them. He stays alone mind you. I just lost strength right there and then. Thinking of all the times Iv stood by him when his finances were not so great, how i would hustle for cash in order that he would be able to get a place, how even when he had no cent in his pocket i would still love him and be there for him. But in all my good deeds he still had to be unfaithful. Confronting him lead to a blame shift game of how i take things too personal, how i am ungrateful of his faithfulness to me, how i am this and that, whilst the problem at hand is ignored. I am told that will never be successful in my career and God will punish me for ever thinking he cheated on me. He himself cant even begin to explain the condoms but I am the one at fault. Why do I deserve all these things? I know all our backgrounds are not perfect but what kind of home are you from treating a woman that way, when you were raised by a woman, How would you feel if your sister, mom was treated that way?? I imagined us getting married. Our cultures united, me in my Ase ebi . But all those hopes and dreams of being that woman for him have just been crushed. I cant stick around and say he will change. Because i could have seen a lot of change by now. I know i value him a lot, would sacrifice everything for him, but he doesn’t value me that much. Instead pride and arrogance is what he is full of. I cant force him to be something he is not. Already thus far i can see he is never going to be the man I imagined him to be. So i am deciding to leave him. It hurts me, but I have to be strong and put me first. No one is perfect I understand but the moment one partner is consistently unhappy and the other partner does not care to make effort to try fix things then i believe that relationship is just toxic.

      1. Be encouraged that there are others who walked where you now walk and are better for walking away. Kudos for seeing the high level of toxicity. One sided relationships are setup for failure. Good thing you didn’t get married and things are in both your names or that he just abandoned you. May Jehovah give strength to bounce back.

      2. I am Ghanaian, dated a Ghanaian for 5 years, and this happened to me as well. My friend experienced something similar with his Ghanaian bf as well. I guess it happens everywhere huh.

    2. Run. Run now and never look back. Im about to finalize my divorce from mine. Nothing you ever do or say will be good enoygh for him. I even took my mothernlaw into my house fromnigeria to take care of her…even when his sister her own daughter in the states refused and complained to take care of her. Ive wasted 10 years and have 3 girls by him and at the end i nearly drove myself crazy trying to please him and make it work…trying to teach him. I wish i had never met him. But whats done is done. Hes nice to you now and you think you can stand up to him and be strong….but once you marry him your nothing more than a possession made to serve him. Get the hell out. Thats all i have to say.

  21. Please this is American men issues too. No different with any race. A man is a man is a low down dirty man when he is wrong. So can’t just single out Nigerian men. This is all to familiar in some men in America. Next article please lol

  22. I dated a Yoruba man for two months, I was head over hills in love with him as he seemed to be a loving guy, he soon showed me his true colours, he lied to me about everything everyday, he was rough and verbally abusive, he made me feel inferior and he would always ask me for money, he would ask me to buy groceries for his place as he was busy planning and paying for our trip to Dubai which was a big fat lie. he would come to my work place and through a temper tantrum in front of my staff member when I broke up with him…. I still have hope that there are some good Nigerian men but I was too disappointed I’m not sure if I would even date one in the future.

    1. SUSANA pls dont bother run for the hills he definetly wants a lot from u and it has got nothing to do with love,but dont take my word for it try him and let us know around February 2016 weitin happen for de ok sister.goodluck

  23. Hey,l have been dating a nigera guy for the lasts 2years and not even once have l been to his house seen the people he lives with he say he lives with his sister and his brother in law so l would have thought at least his sister would wanted to meet me then he gave me an excuse that they didn’t want know one there and that they was very funny people,we go by his uncle shop but we manage to dodge him to he say that he don’t want his uncle to he’s in town then l ask why you don’t want me to meet your people he say soon,he had to leave and go back home to nigera. cause his dad died.He has been over there for 3 months and 3 weeks and hardly ever calls l don’t have a number that l can reach him but he calls me every blue me,he lies and tell me that he’s coming home soon and not yet,he calls me 2weeks and l broke it off with cause l felt like he has been lying to me,he told me that l was the one he wanted to spend his with but his action tell me something l just don’t know what to think.

    1. Polly,

      If you are not married to the Nigerian guy yet, tell him to RUN AWAY, FAST!

      There is no point going into a relationship where you already see such signs. Some of us did not know this and have regretful marriages. You are lucky, he is showing you his true colours now because he will only get worse when the relationship is consolidated. Many a heartbreak in marriage would have been prevented if one had heeded to early warning signs as these. You are worth much more…

  24. Hi,

    I recently bumped into a Nigerian man who lives close by. He said he had seen me in the neighbourhood often and wanted to be my friend. We chatted for a bit and I gave him my phone number. I didn’t really want to give him my number but he just gave me his phone and asked me to put my number into it. I’m too nice to say no. Now we have texted a few times. He seems nice enough and seems to be very eager for me to visit his home. He immediately gave me his address in the first text message.
    Now I want to ask: does this man only want to be friends with me or does he want sex/relationship etc? I am NOT interested in him in a romantic/sexual way at all. Would visiting his home (he lives alone) give the wrong signal – would he take it as a sign that I was romantically interested in him?

    Oh and I live in an European country and I do not know if this man has a residence permit in this country. He told me that he used to work for a big company in this country but is now unemployed.

    I would be grateful for any advice you can give. Thank you in advance.

  25. Susanna, Watch out! Do not trust anyone, Nigerian man or woman inclusive.

    Although this article is on Nigerian men, the issues raised herein could be true of different people from all over the world – both male and female.

    I am a Nigerian woman and I know, like most people do, that on the average (emphasis => average), Nigerian men are fake – they are never true lovers. Some of our men still imitate their fathers, meanwhile the world has moved on. Some Nigerian married men generally cause hell on earth to their wives and children and they lack conscience when it comes having affairs with other women or sleeping about the place. The average Nigerian man thinks he is the beginning and the end, especially when he has a bit of wealth. He will stupidly spend this money and time on prostitutes, forgetting that charity begins at home and not caring whether his wife and children are emotionally affected by it all. As long as he feels OK, the world is OK.

    A minority of Nigerian men are, however, amazing – especially those that are God-fearing. They are absolute wonderful blessings to their wives and families. Awolowo, for example and his ‘jewel of inestimable value’ and a number of others.

    To all the people discounting this article – take heart and swallow the pill, we know it is hard because it is bitter – but it is the truth. In fact, the article is so ‘spot on’ – I am intrigued by the accuracy. We need to pray that God will touch Nigerian men. The Nigerians whom this article describes are not real men. We pray that God will turn them around so that they desist from being stupid and irresponsible. There is a consequence for every action; that is why some men end up nursing all sorts of sex-related ailments for a good part of their later years until they die…

    1. OH MY GOD…….. i wanna thanks to you that you wrote this because peoples sometimes wanna talk about things they don’t know about it;which is not bad because they don’t know! ……….i wanna say this …..people! if you wanna learn from us just learn if you don’t want let just time teachs you because this post is an amaizingly true because i have seen this in my life everyday i paid a lot of secrifations in my life to make this right but it’s not working because this is in thier blooooooooooooooooood.You can’t do anything about it because it’s in thier blood people! just if you want to learn just learn because i don’t want any of you to suffer like me ANY OF YOU whoever you are this is the only advice of me for all of you who wanna get in to a relationship because of thier magicness for the sex they are not even a romantic people MY GOD THEY ARE NOT let me tell you all something if you are a beautifull and educated woman they wanna marry you as soon as possible! ………..marraige with Nija man please learn!!! stay away from that please because you will gone lose your whole life your job,your dreams,your education everything OH MY GOD PLEASE DON’T DO IT YOU WILL GONNE THANKS THIS POST ONCE YOU SAW THIER EXTREEM SELFISHNESS NOT ONLY AT THE END OF THEY DAY! ALWAYS!! YOU WILL GONNE SEE THEM WHEN THEY ARE NOT GIVES YOU THE PRIORITY BECAUSE THEIRE ARE ALOT OF THINGS FOR THEM BEFORE YOU.That’s it if you wanna learn take it if you don’t !……forget get it because you will gonne take it when you got in to it!

      1. So true Lidiya, I wish I had found this post 2 years ago. I’m both educated, a business owner and beautiful. I agree with you, it is in their blood and I can’t even be so mad. Princess T said is best, there needs to be deliverance from those traditional spirits that do not uphold family values or God ordained principals for love, respect, marriage, money and sex. I’m counting my blessings that it ended and God is healing the hurt. My eyes have been opened to African men in general. I’m on a quest to find out what is their attraction to me and I think you’ve nailed it. I’m steady, Godly and purposefully going after destiny. Sometimes I feel the devil planted those distractions in my way but I know all these good and bad things are working out for my good in Jesus Name. I’m so glad that God didn’t reject me when this guy I really though was my friend even abandoned ship in the middle of our business deal. So for me, my post is more than personal or relational. So you are right 1000% who ain’t wanna hear move on, but for those who have an ear and want to be rescued or prevented from making a mess of their lives, they should read.

        I actually like the Nigerian culture and still would visit there or even live there but I’d do so from a very informed position and after much prayer.

        Thanks for sharing Lidiya.

    2. Thanks Princess T for writing that, you are a princess indeed. Who understands her worth. I’ve taken a 21 days hiatus and purposefully chosen to make no contact with a Nigerian guy I was dating. I looked back at the text messages and conversations and to say the least his movies, as he is a Yoruba movie producer and all I can do now is smile to myself. His claims of not being like that others is a farce and his hopes for showing integrity (things he said out his own mouth) are all lies. At first it was hard for me to see …while I hear what the lovely lady married to one who is educated and no doubt not living in the traditions said — she got a good one I hope — I stkllt hold true to my conclusion and it is based on not just others’ experiences that I know of and read but my own personal one.

      You are right Nigerian men really need to be prayed for. I discovered he didn’t just have a child but went back and married the child’s mom for her to get papers, since he came on DV lottery. At first I bought the story but then something inside me won’t sit well. Women God gave us intuition for a reason trust it. He recently went home and came back after Christmas and now his tune has changed. I’m NOT a side chick or any man for that hook up buddy, HELL no. So I calmly asked is the marriage still on (be had changed his mind about filing for her because of something she did, and as I look back there were times he talked so rudely about her and took no consideration for the emotional state of her nor the son — what the neck was I doing with this fool, must have been lust, can’t be love on his part) anyhoos he didn’t answer (he usually denies it is a real marriage — maybe someone can help me understand it here: if a man and woman get married at your court house (civil) and get a marriage certificate and had two witnesses, that sounds real to me, abi? He claims they didn’t do the full works with the whole fam etc. But I said to him if that is all the US needs as proof of your being legally married then it’s legit — it stumped him and he didn’t have an argument. I still stuck with him (biggest mistake of my life to believe him) because he convinced me it was just an arrangement. So fwd to the other day when he came back, he claims in response to my question or more like suggestion — why not give her the respect as your wife and give your son a proper home. He was defensive and told me don’t tell him how to live his life etc. This is a guy who pursued the heck out of me, would call me every day when he was going and coming from work. I HATE that I even let him into my life and my family. My mom asked him recently (when he came back, because I kept his stuff for him while he went home, so he was getjng it and even asked to see my mom — mind you in all of a yr, I’ve never seen his parents pic or even talked to them, once to his sister and it was a bad connection) so do you have a girlfriend home or when are you planning on getting married — he lies and says no and that he doesn’t follow those traditions etc. I looked at him and smiled — I’m glad I NEVER introduced him as my bfrjend and just as a friend. The stories just don’t add up and it would take heavenly hail to knock me on the head to convince me his story has any truth or merit. Now that it’s been 21 days since we last spoke, I’m gonna do another 21 days to forget him and completely heal from that mistake in my life. I’m more informed about Nigerian men and experience does beat handsome/beauty …Is more than looks. I’m telling you this guy was flashy and all that but very ambitious etc. Here is the thing it really is a man thing (unfortunately most men of Nigeria have the issues outlined in this article) and it is worse when they come from a broken home or one where there wasn’t much parental love. So he could never relate to me on family values, I guess that is why he could do that to his wife. I started addressing her as his wife and he get mad and defensive. Well even if I forget my education, God is too good to me to let me mess up my destiny. I’m beautiful, well educated, business owner and with him I felt so insecure, I had gotten sick and he showed up to take me for my visit but that emotional support he can’t give and I see now (as a person and as a Nigerian) he doesn’t have the capacity because he didn’t get it growing up. I know it may sound like I’m contradicting myself but I’m not. The issue is serious concerning Naija men but it is worse concerning men in general. Our young girls these days have to probably fast and pray for 40 days to get a direct revelation of who is real from who is not. I know my handle says done with naija men …but God determines my end from my beginning, it will take me a lot to go back with a Nigerian man — my antennae are up so high but maybe in time I’ll try but for now, I’m gonna conclude that while it may not be your experience all of mine thus far have lined up with this article and if I really be educated and rescued from this mess then I’d be a fool like him to go back into it. The funniest thing is I have this strange feeling he’ll come back but I rebuke the thought because if in 21 days not a message etc, it is a withdrawal syndrome I’m experiencing. I promise you this, if this blog is still up, and if he comes back — I’ll come back and post. For now, please Susana — STAY FARRRRRRRRR away from him and for a matter any man who is like that. Cameroonian men are not much different just less aggressive. Lord my God what is it with attracting African men. This Ghanaian guy really pursuing me but I’m over the chase — I’m longer naive. The right one will come at the right time and I will know it without any doubt or reservation. Until then, I’m staying clear of Nigerian men.

      1. Pardon the errors above, doing it from my phone.

        Corrections
        — He wasn’t all flashy but ambitious and easy to talk to as well as very talkative.
        — Ghanaian is pursuing me now, but I’m no longer naive
        — The other grammatical ones you can figure out

        Additionally
        — a South African guy is in hot pursuit (I don’t like him because I don’t, nothing to do with the country… I actually love South Africa and is on my bucket list of places to visit or travel to) and I wanna know what attracts African guys to Caribbean women?
        — it goes sour when they realize I’m me, with my own culture, traditions and norms that I won’t give up and will adapt to theirs BUT will not change who I am. Most African guys won’t change or even adapt to your culture or practices but will almost demand you to change.

  26. This article is so true. I faced every single thing that was written here. Four years relationship and one year marriage. He walked out of me. He beat me up and all the insults. No one can accept what i have gone through. I regret for not listening to my mother n friends. Stay away from nigerians. They are nothing but shits!

  27. Nigerian men are pigs. I Got my heart broken by them in every shape and form. Ladies don’t marry these animals. They will make you’re life miserable, sad and lower your self esteem no matter how beautiful you are. They will use you and destroy you and then look for another to destroy. They have no sympathy and only think about themselves. They’re selfish. They’re just not husband material. They don’t care or have respect for women. Steer clear from nigerian men and you shall live long in life. Marry a nigerian man and you will die before your time. Case closed. *drops mic and exists*

    1. Omg, you are so right! I dating one for 4 years…the first 2 and a half years was like a dream come true. We did everything together. He had two daughter living with him..at the time they was 10 and 13…After one year we decided to move in together..I helped him get the place together since it was a fixer upper. At the time my kids was living with grandparents since I was going to school and working part-time. I wasn’t stable at the time, so to me it was a blessing that he came around and helped me out. I kept the house together and his girls hair done since I was licensed to do hair. He went everywhere I went, even over my girlfriend house. The crazy thing is his parents are from Nigeria and he was born in the US but act just like the article. Three years went by and my 9 year daughter moved in but he really didn’t like that. My 14 year now was 10 very good student, respectful and loving…but he did not want him around. Every three months we would argue about him moving in, but his answer was always the same…I’M MOVING TO FAST! Really, my son started to get depress and his grades went dowm😞 but he didn’t even care. He started saying things like…I’M THE MAN AND THAT I NEED TO BOW DOWN TO HIM…He didn’t cheat because I couldn’t do nothing without him…he didn’t like that at all. At first I thought it was cute but it got old…When I did decided to go out on my own, he was like why! Let’s just keep it how it’s been. He would get really upset so I just didn’t do it😞! He was very controlling, Mr. Know it all (NOT)! He was good on bragging about what he can do and how much money he’s worth! He really felt like he made me and I better do what he say…Aftet four years of bullshit I moved out and got my kids together…I end up losing a lot of my thing’s because he changed the locs on me. God will fight that battle for me it was just yo much! Yes, great in bed…extra nice, very clean but it’s a fake..
      Biggest lier!!!!

  28. Lol this is a crazy post me and my fiancé are happy and he’s Nigerian he cooks for me and helps me take care of my mother all men if every culture have some type of fucked up vision of what their woman are equal on ! Even the men in the bible so I just can’t point out all Nigerian men I’ll point out all men

  29. I’m currently engaged to a Nigerian man. He’s a Christian and has been very loving and supportive. He had told me of his son in Nigeria that lives with his ex. He says he isn’t married to her, but there really isn’t a way to confirm that so I go on his word. He engaged me after 4 months, which I felt was a bit soon. He explains that when a man sees marriage material he doesn’t need to wait. He would marry me today if I was good with it. I have read a lot on Nigerian men and I try not to group them all in the same category. Instead I study him. I study his actions against the things he says like I would any other man. I study his friends because birds of a feather tend to flock together. I also plan to take this engagement as slow as needed. He is here on a visa and for my peace of mind I have to be sure that I truly feel he wants me and not just his papers. He says he can easily purchase them if needed and that’s not why he’s with me. I’ve heard stories of such and know the women can threaten and ask for more money during the process, so it could be easier to let a woman feel you truly love her and get your papers that way. As with any man from any land we just have to keep our eyes open. The red flags will present themselves eventually.

    1. Be very careful but don’t over think it, yet be informed. I think you are doing the right thing. If y’all are sexually active, decide to be celibate and check his reaction. I no longer buy into this he is Christian or godly — they sometimes do just like the unsaved. There is a Nigerian Marriage Registry online but you’d have to get someone there to go physically to check for you at the court. Simplest lurk is to find the ex on social media and check her handles. I found that mine who denied the marriage as real, his wife was going by his name and had a family pic of them where the caption was “My joys,my life” by him — I asked him bout it and he claimed it was his sister who posted it and captioned it. Lies. I later found others where he did it himself. Story too much to share here, just be careful and try abstaining from sex, see the reaction. Of all things be totally you. And ask the question straight up, of course respectfully are you planning on living here permanently? If he says no, then ask him, when do you plan to go back? If he gives you an answer right away, then ask him what is his plan for us, if we get married before then or after then? Now (in any rship, before you get married) is your homework phase. I was almost gonna marry a Cameroonian guy and we’d gone to counseling n the hard questions I was shy to ask t be counselor asked and I was so shocked. I would have filed for him because of love but I found out he had other motives. And me being more educated and ahead was a an issue (men in general, yet they want an independent woman, I’m working on that — letting a man do for me what I can do for myself, because it helps him feel wanted {that’s a whole different topic about submission for the modern day woman} ) and he ended up marrying a village girl who takes any and everything from him and will give him his papers. I’m not trying to scare you or discourage you but ask you to be wise and informed but also discerning. If something DOESN’T FEEK RIGHT more than 80% of the time it ISN’T RIGHT.

    2. Your comment is interesting. I know there are millions of people in Nigeria; however, I am currently being pursued by a man who sounds a lot like your fiancé. Perhaps it is coincidence.

  30. Well written!!!! My dreams was to get married to a white guy. I love the whites a lot!!! But when i met my husband i though he was different but i was wrong. He treats me so badly. I regret settling for a Nigerian man. I am a Nigerian by the way and can say that only very few of our men are romantic and know how to take care of women. I will not marry a Nigerian in my next world. My life is a mess.

  31. I love my Nigerian Yoruba husband! We have been married for a year and I am African-American. His family adores me and he treats me very well! He pays bills and takes real good care of me! He is romantic and very dedicated to me. I love Nigeria and the Yoruba culture! We live in Los Angeles but we travel to Nigeria together. He works and he is smart with a college degree and all types of certificates. He supports me in getting my Master degree and pursuing my dreams. He never ask me for money because he thinks a man should take care of his woman. He is a great lover! He is very consistent with gifts and showing love! I have known many Nigerian men that are good men and some that I could never be with but that occurs in all men! Stop stereotyping Nigerian brothers! There are many white men that treat their women like crap so let go of that great white hope dream! I love foreign black men. My mother is from Jamaica and she taught me to love our black people no matter what country they are from! I am a self starter, direct, educated African-American woman who is very happy being married to a Nigerian man!

    1. Good for you Ebony. I’m Caribbean myself but I’m gonna stick to just that. It is early yet, hope we don’t see a folllw up on your post some years down the line.

      I’d like to give a Nigerian man another chance but that will take Christ bursting heaven and commanding me over loud speaker to give him a chance, especially if he is Yoruba. Maybe a less popular and stuck up, deceiving tribe if that exists. I love my chocolate but shoots I’m stuck to the coco I know.

  32. I wish I could say she was wrong … But I’m gonna just be grateful for escaping. Yoruba men smooth educated CHEAP talkers …their words are fluff. Here is why I concluded so:

    Sad to say but Nigerian men lie, cheat and dishonor women. The Nigerian women who put up with that mess God bless their hearts. Maybe I was naive but I once dated a Yoruba guy, actually two — one a party guy and that wasn’t gonna work out and then the next a Yoruba filmmaker living in the USA. Talk about lines and I thought he was decent and believed him until I asked him are you married? He said no initially and then later said it is complicated, he is doing it for papers. I now asked to whom to discover is to his son’s mother. He denies it is anything and that all she wants is papers … Right because I look foolish. I’ll admit I was heart broken because at first I did believe he had integrity and was trust worthy. He pursued me over and over telling me every no means — next opportunity. The guy was smooth, not my type but we got a long I could relate and I wasn’t really looking. After like 3 months I gave him a chance thinking every Nigerian man is not gonna deceive you …boy oh boy was I wrong. He basically raped me of every possible positive feeling and trust of Nigerian man. He goes home each time and when I asked how is the son mom — he played it off as he despised her — red flag and got defensive whenever I asked bout her. Only to come back boxing day and tells me he is going ahead and file the docs because that is all he wants and he is going back home. He Will only go and come here. None of it makes sense and I’m not gonna be mean or spiteful, I have so many things that can damage his reputation, but I’m gonna leave him up to God. For whomever feels it is a generalization, until you’ve experienced it over and over then you will understand it is not. Nigerian men are not trustworthy and a good, honest, noncheating one is very very hard to find. The families all are in on it too. You’re better off leaving them to stay married to these young girls who will do anything for them and even ruin homes for them. I’m not a home wrecker, and I’m not for women being abused, I cut him off — he tried to check up on me…oh please to do what? Hurt me more. The girl even carries his last name on her fb and he claims ppl just put things out there. I do believe there was a time he was being open to some extent but then he forgot that I’m not African and followed the trends and the sh$t wasn’t adding up. I encouraged him by all means please take her make her a proper wife and give your son a stable home and stop trying to mess around with other women. I’m done … God help me remove this curse from my life and I will not be a fool to go back there. Let me get some vanilla before I try any motherland chocolate. Chaiii.

  33. There are bad men in every race of men! I have more success in dating black foreign men than African-American men. I prefer Island or African men! My husband is wonderful and I adore him and he adores me! We have been together for almost three years and married one year! So I would say that we are going very well! No Vanilla for me! I prefer Chocolate anyday!

  34. Well done. Perhaps you can share some tips on how you succeeeded. Won’t want to give up on the brothers, I certainly won’t date black Americans …but these brothers be messing up. I really hope you got a good one. Guidance.

    1. I am very sure that I have a good one! His family adores me especially his mother and father who are extremely educated. My husband treats me like a Queen and respects me. He has been my biggest supporter in everything that I want to do in life and I am his biggest supporter! We were friends before going together and we realize that we love each other. He has seen my ups and downs before being with me and we just make a perfect match! Being that my mother is from Jamaica, I don’t take mess at all! I am very outspoken but I also respect my man and let him be the man in the house. Guess what, I don’t cook Yoruba food! He prepares the traditional food whenever he wants it! He helps in the house with cleaning and he take care of bills. He is a really good man and he is good to his family! We just click and I haven’t had a bad experience with him. Sure we have had disagreements like all couples do but we get past it and focus on us! His friends are good men and they are Nigerian!

      1. I know people say be very wary of things posted online, but you are probably the first sort of live experience that is different that I’ve come across. I take it that you all don’t live in Nigeria and you both have been exposed to different cultures.

        One thing I see ringing out here is a general rule with any guy, be true to who you are. I just wish I had gotten honest ones who didn’t have the same old sad story of a wife back in Nigeria. Of he treats her so he will treat me the same or worse. It just left a very bitter taste in my mouth.

        I once met a nice Yoruba family, I was pleased and shocked by their welcome and I thought it was all going so well and then they tried to change me, it was as if my own culture didn’t matter. Hey I believe in leaving and cleaving but it was this same Caribbean girl that he was attracted to in the first place. Maybe there are good ones and you got one. From my heart I really wish you the best and pray one day God sees it fit to bless me as well. I’m taking a break from dating African guys, Nigerians in particular … I’d rather be friends with them than anything romantic. I’m really glad you are among some of the few who got a good man regardless of culture. Thanks for sharing. Guidance.

        1. No, problem! We travel to Nigeria at least twice a year to visit his family and I am always welcome with love and respect. No one will ever change who I am, period! We are just the best of friends and it worked out for us! I have come to realize that there are bad men in every race. I am sorry that you have come across really bad Nigerian guys but that hasn’t been my case at all! His friends who are Nigerians and live in America are really great guys! I have been exposed to other Nigerians that have been good too! I have also met some bad guys that are African-American and from the Islands. I love brothers but I won’t put up with mess if its not going well! Any man that is rude, tries to use you financially, or family has too much to say isn’t worth my time! I am blessed and happy! My husband is very dedicated and tells anyone that I am his priority! He is a strong and handsome man who works very hard everyday and I am very glad to be his wife.

  35. Haba!!! all these fake women dem hihihi then leave our brothers alone!! your greedy selves just wouldn´t, you will type trash on the internet and still go look for a sweet Nigerian blood. I am a Nigerian, engaged to the cutest, most intelligent, caring, loving Nigerian man.
    We know how to handle ourselves, so cut the internet some slacks and stop dating NIgerians!! Afterall noone is forcing you.
    A naija king will always go back to his queen…Gbam!

    1. Oladimeji2015,

      Type trash? I am sorry that you are a bitter Nigerian woman who is hating on non-Nigerian women. You don’t own Nigerian men! I am happy that you are engaged to a wonderful man and I wish you good luck in your marriage because you sound like a handful! I will never stop dating who I want! My husband wasn’t force to marry me, he married me because he wanted too! I showed him your comments and he laughed! A Naija King has a right to select his Queen from any part of the world! My King selected his Queen who happens to be an African-American woman! You don’t have to like it which is your right! It still won’t change anything so deal with it or keep quiet!

    2. Haha That’s so funny too me ,since they are always leaving you all for American women so evidently you Nigeria women are not doing something right!!!

      1. Hi, thank you to all of you who gave me advice. I am staying away from the Nigerian man I asked for advice about. I have stopped replying to his text messages. It was a BIG red flag for me that he immediately wanted me to visit him at his flat. I don’t like the idea of going into the home of a man I have only met shortly once. I hope he leaves me alone now. I don’t even know what his real name is as he first gave one name and later in another text message he gave another.

        Thank you and may God bless all of you sisters.
        Susana

  36. pls my dare. to how many % is ur judgment based on to have a conclusion to destroy a lovely feature of young nigerian men… am married n i grow up in lagos which i think is the soul of the country when it comes to almost different n eclectic lifestyle…… pls dont be conclusive judgmental….. n i must tell u my marriage has been great…. thanks…..

  37. I am happy for anyone that is blessed with a loving marriage! However, people can marry who they want and who makes them happy! My husband has family in Lagos, Ibadan, Akure, and Ikoya. All his family members adore and respect me. They call me directly to check on me especially his mother and aunt. Nigerian and Non-Nigerian marriages can work if you truly want it to work. There are bad men and women in every culture and race. I love my husband and he loves me. We talk about everything and we work together. My husband is very unique because he doesn’t believe in doing what other folks want him to do and his family respects him for that! My husband loves me for me and doesn’t expect me to change or be a different woman because he is Nigerian. He tells all his Nigerian friends that he loves me a lot! I am not an ugly women who is desperate and obese or can’t get a man..I am a woman who happen to fall for a man who happens to be Nigerian, period! I am very accomplished in my own right from education, writing a published book, and being a professional. My husband is educated and a professional. My husband believes a man should talk care of the family and always make his woman happy…its not a Nigerian thing, its a real man thing! I love his Yoruba culture and he loves my Jamaican culture! However, we love being two black people from different cultures that love each other! Like we always tell people get over it because we are happy and not looking for anyone’s approval! One thing that we are saying is that if Donald Trump win, we are moving to Nigeria and living there for the next four years! To my Nigerian sistas, there are almost 200 million people in Nigeria so please stop acting like you own the rights to your Nigerian brothers! It’s funny I never see negative comments from Nigerian women when a Nigerian woman marries a White foreign man…just when a Nigerian brother marry a Non-Nigerian woman which is so silly!

  38. Its like you live in my home I have been with this man for 4 years he is Nigerian and am from another African country and we stay in Asia, but I had a son in my previous relationship which I didn’t hide but I do everything for this man like he is my own son He has cheated on me and blamed it on me, he keeps in contact with his ex girlfriends and he says its just friends, he beats me on top of that he made me leave all my friends so even when you have a problem you have no one to talk to or go, I never leave the house if am not with him thank God my son is with my mum. He will imagine something and assume you have done it he took me to Nigeria and he always left me at home with no money, heat no light I had no friends he would go and eat in restaurants and leave me with his brothers at home I stressed out and ended up falling sick he was not around when I needed him I started calling home for money so when he left home I would also run to western Union to get money to use. But because you have no one to talk to you become angry inside you his father asked him why did you bring this girl here if you were going to leave her here alone? He instead shouted at his father and when I tried talking to him about it he said it was not intentional he didn’t know he was hurting me, so I told him I want to leave and I came back to Asia so I left him in Nigeria , hmmmmm i think he even had a party when I left he started running around with girls but when you talk about it he shuts you up! I do everything for this man even put toothpaste on his toothbrush ladies I flush the toilet but he calls me ungrateful any chance he gets If my family calls and we speak in my language he wants me to interpret one day my mum called and he said my mum gave me a man to talk to on phone ……. you can imagine, I cry my self to sleep these men see your weakest point and use it to exploit you……….. So just of recent he told me since he is an igbo and the first son he wants a child but he needs a woman who has never given birth to give him his first child meanwhile I have been with him 4 years and he is telling me that now so I told him once he is ready to have a kid am leaving I cant take it no more. He said all he wants is a kid from any woman and then dump the woman I just cant believe my self when I heard this but If i started talking about my relationship we wouldn’t do anything today I just need someone to advise me thanks

    1. Sheila, no man Nigerian or Non-Nigerian has a right to do you that way or any other woman like that! It’s time to cut your losses and leave him! A man can only do what you allow! Stop allowing him to abuse you mentally and physically! It sounds like he has no respect for himself, his father, or you! He is just a bad man that deserve to be alone! This has nothing to do with being Nigerian, this is just a really bad man in your life. Cut your ties with him and find your own happiness.I would never stay with a man that thinks I am not worthy of having his child yet I am doing everything for him. I wish my husband would tell me that because I have one child that he doesn’t want a child from me! Your man is a user because most men that marry a woman with a child usually love the woman and sees she is a good mother and want a child with that woman. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and my husband wants a child with me after I complete my Master degree. Let that nightmare go and focus on getting yourself together and plus this isn’t good for your son to see! Any man that beats a woman is a punk! Don’t ever sit around and let a man beat you because it doesn’t stop…it just gets worse! I wish you the best of luck but you need to be strong and leave that man and provide a safe place you and your son! Real men don’t hurt the woman that they love! Sure, there will be disagreements from time to time but never disrespect, screaming, or physical abuse! Good luck!

    2. Hi Sheila. I got so sad when I read your post. Please leave that man, he obviously does not love you. You and your child deserve a much better life and you will find a happier life when you leave that man. He treats you horribly and it is not your fault but his. You do everything for him (even put his toothpaste on his toothbrush!) and he treats you like crap and beats you, he does not deserve a good woman like you.
      Please take your child and run! Ask your Mum and everyone you can think of for help. You can do it! And you will be so much happier without this man and in the future you will find a man who actually loves and respects you. Please listen to what I’m saying. I’m praying for you sister.

  39. Thank you ladies for your comments but after I posted this 30 minutes later I posted on my Facebook page that counting other people’s sins doesn’t make you a saint Just because of that I have been beaten and kicked he just went out and locked me in, This is a man whom I left all my friends for he has called me a bitch on facebook I had to deactivate my account I told him he can have any other woman he took my passport I have no life and I thank God he didn’t see on my computer am in a foreign country stuck with no friends and family and no where to go and he brags about me not having where to run to when ever he beats me. He will go out now smoke , drink come back at 3 am and tell you to fix him food. Honestly even if I did something wrong to this man I dont deserve to be treated like this , am someones mother and some ones child but he calls me evil and curses me , I wish leaving was that easy if any man reads this I dont think you would let your daughter go through this because its only a coward who does that ! I have always had health problems since childhood I dont breath so well I told him you will beat me and kill me one day you will go and get another woman but my child wont get another mother……………………………… cant stop crying I wish leaving was that easy and what hurts so bad is that I love this man but you cant love someone like this…………………

    1. I am really sympathizing with please for god sake leave try to find someone who can help you,cause you do not deserve to be treated like this no one does lord I don’t why other humans treat other humans like that i am praying for u and your daughter and i hope u get the help u truly deserve God bless you!!!!

  40. Hi people. This article is true. STAY AWAY FROM NIGERIA MAN. I met one Nigeria guy and he promised marriage. I got pregnant by him and found out he is illegal immigrant. I advise him to go see a lawyer to fix his status but he chose to do fake paper so he can get married to.me but he was caught and went to jail. I visited him everyday with my new born baby in prison .paid his lawyer fee and did everything he ask. Wen he came out of jail same day he asked my friend out mx. I forgave him and next thing I know I’m pregnant again. One day he confess that he got with me because of paper.he only .wanted to use Me to get british documents and that I was nothing.I’m used goods.ha ha. Anyway I’m still under same roof with this man coz I can’t leave. I work nite shift so I don’t have childcare . He treat me like shut.leave 6am and come back when we all sleeping. He doesn’t pay any bills. He says I’m a mugu(stupid) bvoz I can’t leave him but I’m just preparing myself to finish my master degree and also for my kids to start school and he will not know what hit him. Mugu b him very soon.

  41. The writer must have hooked up wt or dated d lowliest of lowly Nigerian man or men. What a stupid stereotype!

  42. The Writer is nothing but an idiot for saying this lies about your people,Do you know how many american women cheat n fight their husbands,How many american men shot n kill their wife and also cheat,doing drugs and stealing huh,cursing their women calling them bitch and all that,You are an idiot and a stupid fellow for disgracing a beautiful country like nigeria,You just don’t know what the article of urs has destroyed someone relationship

  43. Everyone has they’re comments, but you have to experience it to talk about it, Nigerian men have no respect for woman at all, I have a son with him and supported him for years and years. But I start realizing Nigerian men go with certain women for a purpose before love, you just have to be careful. They look at woman like a prey more than a person, with feelings if you can help them with papers,credit, finance, they will be supportive until a better option comes along. They try to be romantic and caring but it’s so not in theyre DNA doesn’t last long. Men are men but they take it to a different level of disrespecting women and thinking because of they’re culture they blame their actions on how they were raise. I’m praying for my son not be like his dad , and that’s sad!

    1. Nigerian men are men period! Some men are good and some are bad! My husband is Yoruba and is great at everything! We will be celebrating two years of marriage in October of this year. He is always doing nice things for me and he is very loving plus very caring! He has his own credit and job and don’t look to me for those things! He has done a lot for me even before we were married! He is always giving me money and making sure that I am okay! He pushed me to pursue my Master degree and accomplish my goals and dreams. I went into emergency hospital in late January of this year and needed my gallbladder removed due to severe pain and he stayed in the hospital with me overnight and asked for a guest bed rental because he didn’t want to leave my side and he took time off of work to make sure I was okay! I know a few Nigerian brothas that are like my husband and get dogged out by some Nigerian women and American Black women. I am African-American but I have a Jamaican mother and African-American father who are both Black so I see things different because of two cultures. Give your man space and continue to do you and they will respect you a lot! My husband express his love to me in public and amongst his family and friends. I have no issues with Nigerian brothas or brothas from the Islands because they treat me with high respect and appreciation!

      1. Your very passionate about foreign black men but your comfortable writting off black American men which your father is. Pot calling the kettle black.

  44. A one sided view of your personal opinion of a bad experience you may have had. A BOY or GIRL from any country can be a shitless waste of time. Im married to a nigerian man for years who is nothing like the post you wrote about. Your post describes boys, NOT MEN. BOYS from any nation including America….. cheat, beat, control, lie, live off women.

  45. I am so surprise of what so many people are saying about Nigerian men. I am a Nigerian man of 32yrs old and I can not treat a woman in wrong ways cos I love my mother so much and i am always very offended when i see some men treat women bad. I will love my wife the way i love and respect my mum and cos i grew up with her and she always advice me never to raise up my hands on a woman or hit or beat a women. Generally women are not as powerful as men so any man who beats a women is a beast. More also i hate a polygamous family. i can never think of involving in polygamy. I will love and take good care of my wife, she will be my mother,my sister, my best friend, my daughter, my life and my world. And i will be every thing Lovely to her. How can a well brought up man beats his wife? I am going to live for her and give her all the care and attention she need as a woman cos women need to be pampered and treated like a Baby. I am a Nigerian man and i am very proud to be. So, generalizing all Nigerian men is not very good. Women need to be treated with tender care. If you wish to know more of me you can write me on samuelcool60luv@yahoo.com

    1. I am in tears right now don’t know where to start! I live with a Yoruba man for 3 years have two children together with him when he met me my beautiful daughter was 2 years old he accepted her as his own. There is so much to my story I can write a book, Jesus you are Lord I have been mentally abuse by this man he will always say “I don’t know his struggles” he said the only reason we live together is because of our children and I am useless fat and nobody. I am from the Caribbean and men there not all was brought up to treat there woman with love and respect nothing I do can change him so it’s done am moving on with my children . Who feels it knows it thank you ladies for sharing your stories .

  46. Married to one. I agree on the lack of romance and on the polygamous nature. 99.9% of Nigerian men I know, at some point have had an affair. Sometimes I wonder to escape this well I have found myself

  47. as many are saying there are bad men and women everywhere even here in the southern part of Africa, you will find men who are more than willing to live off a woman just because they have given you their name they think they own you and everything you work for! There are men everywhere who are happy to abuse a woman emotionally and physically. They are cheats and cannot be with just one woman. I have never been married to any foreigner but can tell you from my own country men they are equally chavunistic, who really knows what most men want? Just as there are some good men here I am quite sure that there must be some good men in Nigeria and elsewhere as well. sorry for all of you who have been through these traumatic experiences but I think you will find such men everywhere, even white men do cheat and abuse women daily.

    My marriage ended because my husband who is a fellow countryman decided to deliberately to have a child with a woman half his age…that was some years ago. True to African culture the elders sit you down tell you these things happen just forgive him and carry on its not good to divorce when you are over 40 just stick it out! what did the nigger go and do he had another child years later with the same woman. and again they said sorry but please don’t divorce him…..well really? the man does not even work or do business so I am supporting both him and his family! so I had to make a decision obviously the baby mama was going no where now with two children so I had to shift him out of my life so that he could look after his family. This is quite common men having another family and thinking nothing is wrong with that. it happens everywhere sisters not just Nigerian men!

  48. I’m an American girl who fell in love with a Nigerian man. After 6 years found out about at least one other woman, who knew me (but not the other way around), and their unborn child. I later found out about someone who was suppose to be his “publicist/assistant/ghost blogger” was someone he at least use to have relations with. Well, they recently rekindle their flame.
    Not b/c of this article – I already know I can’t marry this guy after dating for so long. A part of me genuinely cares about him but I’m afraid that everything happening now will be 10x worse once married.
    I do see some some parrelels in this article but I wouldn’t give up on all Nigerian men. I am a mixed Black/African American wonan and I in most cases to date men who belong to the same same or similar racial/ethnic group. However, I draw a line when the societal, religious, and cultural differences run DEEP.
    This is where I am with my on/off relationship with a Nigerian man. Born and raised in his country and have moved to the US on his own in his early 30s. Meanwhile his BM is back in SA raising their child and her own (I know this b/c she periodically ghost follows me on FB)

    At this point I see him as a lover. I no longer let his drama get to me. He’s very DRAMATIC.

    Know I’m not pregnant or have any children. At this rate never with this man. That’s why he has a BM. Let her have his children.

  49. From my experience as a Nigerian girl, most Nigerian men have this attitude of self entitlement, thinking they can just abuse women and it’s okay to do so. Lots of my uncles are abusive towards their wife (physical, mental and verbal abuse),
    Back in Nigeria, one of my Nigerian uncle raped his wife & got her pregnant, then repeatedly beat her always and the whole family is aware of it, one day she packed her belonging and ran away to her parents house.
    another one is my father who is an alcoholic, gambler, likes to fiddle with and fondle young girls , he has raped many women also and long story -I finally ran away from him.
    My cousin’s husband who is also a Nigerian man, mentally abused her, took her wages and never contribute to paying the rent or looking after his daughter, he also has another wife and two other young girls pregnant, making a total of 6kids.

    I also dated a Nigerian man,
    Who mentally abused me for so many years, doesn’t help towards anything, party and got drunk with his friend, his family also blame me for his poor behaviours and the reason why he’s not doing well in his career.
    The list goes on and on, the culture and people always blame the woman if the relations doesn’t work out or if he marriage failed, women don’t have support if they wish to leave behind an abusive relationship, the bride family is more likely to return the woman back to her husbands house as it brings shame on the family for having her back at her fathers house after a marriage breakdown.
    I was lucky to walk away, I still get blame from my family and people look down on my for leaving my husband, but as time goes on, I know I will be fine & try to create a better future for myself. Pls stay away from Nigerian men

  50. I read these posts in wonderment. I am a Nigerian woman and I live in Nigeria. Let me tell you the simple problem with our men. They live or grew up in a society that allows them to get away with anything. The average Yoruba guy is considered a stud for using girls and then going to the north to find a virgin. Who punishes them for rape? No one. The society is so broken down that they develop a God mindset. Only those very well brought up and not influenced by bad friends are still ok. As for foreigners wanting to marry Nigerians…My advice is this…the average Nigerian man is a slave to his family especially his mother. Even If he loved you originally, his mother will most likely insist on him getting ‘our wife’. Apart from the society I believe the role of mothers in the lives of these men is so vital. Many are raised wrong. I know men whose mothers tell them to marry for money, papers etc. They then they arrange a local girl for them by the side. It’s mostly the mother’s and the society. If you can help it, don’t marry a Nigerian man if you’re a foreigner. He has to be rich and highly educated for him not to go after your money or marry you for papers. Most are just after greener pastures. My twopence.

    1. That is such a stereotype! My husband is Nigerian and I am African-American and we come to Nigeria all the time. My husband family adore me and love that we are together. His mother has no control over him and she never ever try to do anything. He respect and adore his mother and family but they know he is his own man. He dares anyone to disrespect me! We have a very strong and loving relationship.

  51. All this said about nigerian men is 99 oercent true, i dated a yoruba guy online for 3yrs , je trated me so badly and only act nice when he needs money from me . Luckily i noticed he’s after my money and doesnt love me , so i walk out from the relationship and blocked him on whtsapp, funny enough a year later i met another igbo guy whos studying in canada , is a month today we met and he’s asking me to lend him some money to pay his bills . We aren’t sweetheart yet hes so nice to me and i dont understand how someone like him who looks rich and drives a good car will be asking money from me . I’m a Ghanaian Please any help gurls

    1. Never give a man money especially online. That dude is trying to use you. Just because someone drives a nice car and looks rich doesn’t mean they have money! The Yoruba guy that you were dating online, did you ever meet him in-person? There are men and women around the world that use people, not just Nigerians! Stop stereotyping because you had a bad experience. Like I said earlier, my husband is Yoruba and he is awesome! He loves me unconditionally and he is always doing nice things for me. He works as a Assistant IT Manager and he is now in medical school. I never have to ask for anything because he just does it. I work too and our goal is just be happy and enjoy life. Men are men, everyone needs to stop stereotyping. I don’t stereotype because being an African-American woman in the United States, I fight stereotypes everyday because I am Black! Just be careful with the type of men you meet online. If the man never made an attempt to see you in-person than move on because he is using you. If someone is only nice when they need money than move on! The warning signs are there and you pretended to not see them which means some of his actions you allowed because you didn’t let him go! Ladies, men will only do what you allow! Own your part in these bad relationships! If a man treats you bad than move on!

      1. Yeah that’s so true, i never met the yoruba guy , just online buh im the kind type and i often love to help people when i can , buh yet still i need to stop doing such ,alot of bad people around this day. I will rather send the money to mom, thank you gorgeous.

  52. my sister is dating a Nigerian yoruba man who is 14 years younger than she is, he is 36 and she is 50. she met him there and fell in love in less than a month and she wants him to come to the states to be with her. he immediately wanted her to have his child, it was all he talked about after they met. he even tried to have unprotected sex with her. eventually she told him that she couldn’t have children. he said it was ok. why would a young african man spend his life with an older woman who cant give him a family? he also told her that age was not a problem. She also dated women exclusively before him for over 35 years until she fell for him, he also said that was not a problem. I thought african men were homophobic? he said when he came to the US to live with her she wouldn’t need a woman anymore. she discovered he had an ex who somehow got a hold of his phone and texted her to find out who she was, and told her that she was his fiancé. He gave her a huge story and she forgave him, the ‘ex’ has since popped up several times like a bad penny but he always managed to fix his story and she believed him. he has no money, she says she will look after him when he comes until he finds a job. he was denied a visa and tried to get her to file for a 90 day visa to come to the US to marry her but she said no. he says he has no wife, children, one or two cousins, but that’s it, no big family. she met the brother and the brother’s four little children, and he also lied to her to back up this man’s story. my sister is is opinionated, impatient and she tends to yell if things don’t go her way. he’s fine with all of that. when she yells he tells her she doesn’t love him anymore and doesn’t want him to come. then she feels guilty. somehow I don’t think that African men find those traits attractive. but she says he’s calm, quiet, doesn’t yell and that’s just not his personality. All told she has only been in his space physically for a little over three weeks and only in vacation mode, all other contact and everything she knows about him is through phone, email and texts, but she says she knows him and he loves her and wants to be with her and she wants to be with him. on the vacations in his country she pays for everything, hotel, food, everything, he doesn’t even have a credit card. I find this odd. I find it scary because I don’t think that she knows him well enough to have him come to this country to live with her alone in her house in the suburbs. I have heard that they are very sweet talkers and they will tell you anything and everything to get what they want, but I just don’t trust him. How can everything just be ok with him? am I wrong to be concerned here? maybe I just don’t understand this whole love thing…

  53. This article true, I am married to a Nigerian. although my parents are born in Nigeria. so i am Nigerian American….I regret my marriage very day. I want a man to love me, honor me just as i do for him. they lack respect for their wife, I am sure is he cheating on me with some Bitch in Nigerian.Choose your man wisely not all are crazy but majority are. i realized the one born here or raised here tends to take care of their family well, they are responsible.

  54. Hey all. I agree with some of this article. Nigerian men lie like ive never experienced before. I broke up with my ex last week after just over a year. I’m a black woman from Canada he’s Igbo and we met in Korea. When we met the first thing out of his mouth was a lie. He lied about where he was from (smh) red flag 1. He hid is religion from me for months until I discovered it on my own (jehovas witness), he lied about graduating from University (dropped out) and he lied about where he was until a friend caught him out with friends. On each of the above occasions when I would confront him he would be defensive. Would shut down, ignore me and simply not want to discuss it. As if I didn’t deserve an explanation. When he broke my trust and I told him he needs to earn it back he basicslly told me that If I don’t want to trust him then don’t. He has no concept of communication or working on relationships to improve them. Whenever I wanted to discuss something simple he would tell me I make everything a big deal. He was so emotionally unavailable. If I cried out of frustration from his behaviour he would stonewall me and tell me I bring down his mood. He was not romantic at all. I can count the thoughtful things he did for me on one hand. And these were things that are like just basic relationship expectations. I don’t know why I stayed as long as I did (hoping he would change I guess). Overall his negative traits were not unique to him being nigerian. However cultural and religious differences made things infinitely worse.

    I can’t say steer clear of all Nigerians, but if you’re western don’t expect your relationship needs to be met. Ultimately you’ll spend the majority of the relationship frustrated and wanting to fill a void.

  55. Let me start by stating the obvious. A typical Nigerian man is very egotistic. You can’t expect to be his woman and yet rub shoulders with him. That will never ever work. His definition of a relationship is ‘I lead, you follow.’ And if you tune your ears well, you’ll hear ‘I own you’.

    I have always been an advocate of women being independent whether they are with a man or not. And let me define what I mean because in this part of the world, once the word ‘independence’ and ‘women’ come in the same sentence, people’s antennae go up. An independent woman simply means a woman who take care of herself and is contented financially, emotionally or otherwise whether a man is in her life or not. It does not mean she does not need a man; it means she has an identity and does not need to be defined by anyone.

    Having said that, I will be addressing the independent woman who wants to love and be with a typical Nigerian man and still maintain her identity. Here’s how to.

    1. Treat Him like a King. Respect Him. Don’t talk him down. Show him a deep admiration for his abilities, qualities and achievements. You don’t have to go on your knees before him to show that you respect him. And treating him like a king doesn’t make you less.

    How to be boss? Only a queen knows how to take care of a king.

    2. Be Faithful. The worst thing you can do to a Nigerian man is cheat on him. Don’t even try it. He is the one and only in your life. Even if he cheats on you, do not retaliate; you’ll have no one as your support when shit hits the fan. Simply walk out of the relationship if he strays. But while you’re with him, you have to be 100% faithful.

    How to be boss? A faithful woman is already at the top of the list. You earn any man’s respect by being faithful.

    3. Take Care of Him. A Nigerian man loves to be cared for by his woman and this entails preparing his favorite meals, cleaning up his house/room, handling his laundry (if you want to stretch it far) and ensuring that he is generally in good condition. He wants to know you care. His mother has done a pretty fine job of that for him. He wants you to continue where she left off.

    How to be boss? Be honest with yourself from the beginning about what you can or cannot do for him. Before you met him, he did his own chores. Remind him of that. Meeting his needs occasionally shows you are performing acts of love; doing it regularly shows you’re performing a duty.

    4. Sex Him like a Pro. Nigerian men talk about wanting a good girl in bed or something like that but in the end they complain when you are not responsive. They do not like inexperienced girls. So, here’s my honest advice to you: be a freak in bed. If you are good in doing the thing, don’t hide it. Blow his mind the whole 9 inches yards. He might be worried about how you got so skilled but he’ll get over it soon when he discovers you are faithful.

    How to be boss? Like I said, just blow his mind and he’ll always duff his hat for you.

    5. Respect His Family. This is no joke. Especially his mother, you have to kiss her ass big time. You cannot score high by being stubborn on this point. Once a Nigerian man introduces you to his family, it means he’s ready to take it far and if you meet them and start acting all pig-headed, he will dump you. Many a Nigerian man have left their women because their families said no. So, score high on this one and it shall go well with you.

    How to be boss? Be yourself with them. Don’t kiss the floor they walk on or you’ll do that forever. Just be cordial and respect them. Compromise on some things but be known to be your own person by saying no to other things.

    6. Be Religious. Most Nigerian men believe in God. They might not all be religious but they want their women to be. They want women who would hold up the spiritual front for them. Once I heard my husband telling his friend with a proud smile, “she prays for me.” You might be an atheist or agnostic or not of his religion but he has chosen to love you the way you are, then you should show some respect for his faith, at least. Follow him to church once in a while. If he’s a Muslim, learn about Islam or dress as a Muslim woman on the occasion.

    How to be boss? Don’t just speak ill of his God for whatever reason but don’t allow him drown your own beliefs.

    7. Give Him His Personal Space. This is not peculiar to just Nigerian men. All men love their personal space. Allow him time with his guys, his family and his hobbies. Don’t cramp his space.

    How to be boss? Find your own thing to do. Hanging around your man all the time would make you dependent on him and you don’t want that.

    8. Know How to Cook. There’s no escaping this one, I’m afraid. It is probably one of the tests you’ll undergo with him and with his family. And to emphasize, you must learn how to cook the meals he loves, the ones his mother always made for him. If you don’t learn this, he will stay out to eat another woman’s meals.

    How to be boss? Have him help out with the ingredients while you cook. Ask his presence in the kitchen; tell him to keep you company or help with the dishes as you cook. You can also lure him there by wearing something really sexy. Make your meal time special occasions so that he looks forward to each time you cook.

    9. Ditch your male BFF. I’m sorry but that male best friend has to become just one of the guys. He and your man cannot share the same space. Nigerian men do not understand the concept of a woman having a close male friend when she already has a man. No matter how platonic your relationship with your friend is, your Nigerian man will see him as competition. Here are some of his thoughts:

    if we have a fight, does she tell him?

    when we fight, does she run to him and he holds her to comfort her?

    has he seen her naked?

    have they gone beyond friendship before?

    how can he not be attracted to her? she’s damn sexy

    doesn’t she know he’s just trying to get into her pants?

    why is she even having a male best friend?

    who the f*ck does he think he is forming best friend with my woman?

    How to be boss? Good friendships are hard to come by and you don’t want to throw one away because your man says so. Simply limit your time with said best friend and let your man know the sacrifice you’re making but also tell him you can’t totally ditch your friend.

    10. Do Not Take Gifts From Other Men. Like seriously, don’t. A Nigerian man would tell you “bae, if he bought you that handbag and pair of shoes, you better be in his bed, not mine.” Yes, they are that jealous. They own you as a woman and would proudly call you their property. Hence, do not take gifts from other men asides your man. As much as he is proud to know he has a woman that is desired by other men, he doesn’t want you to have anything with them.

    How to be boss? Show him why you’re still desired. Dress hot, maintain your weight and be sexy. Suggest outings so that he can appreciate what he has when other men ogle you. That will remind him to love you as you deserve.

    11. Be Feminine. Whether you’re a tomboy or just full of womanliness, maintain your femininity. A woman who acts like a man and rubs shoulders with her man is not appreciated in Nigeria. Even if you’re a boss at work, drop your ranks when you’re in his arms. Maintain the things that make you female like nice hair, nice nails, a clean appearance, clear skin, an alluring scent, light makeup, a gentle nature and a happy face.

    How to be boss? Concentrate on inner virtues that show your strength while on the outside you appear subtle. One of my favorite phrases I heard from a man about his wife was, “Forget her angel face o, she’s a lioness inside; my lioness.”

    12. Be Wise and Smart. Foolish women don’t make the cut in Nigeria. You’ll get cheated on, abused and find yourself at the bottom of very man’s list. As much as a Nigerian man doesn’t want you smarter than him, he is also not interested in a dumb woman. He wants you to keep him on his toes with your intelligence. Many ladies believe an outward appearance gets them the man but the truth is intelligence and wisdom are more important when he starts to think of a long term relationship.

    How to be boss? You can’t fail with this one. Just use your brains.

    13. Be Hard-working. No food for lazy man is a popular saying around here. There’s nothing as unappealing as a woman who is slothful and expects her man to do all the work. Nigerian men work hard for their money, no joke. In the end, they want women who would have the skills to maintain what they have worked for, and not squander it. Find something your hands can do if you don’t have a job. No one is born without a talent.

    How to be boss? This is one place you can be boss and diva at the same time. Be hard working and no man will treat you less than you are worth.

    Nigerian men are the best men in the world, forget what you’ve been told. Yes, there are bad ones and I’ve gotten my own taste of them. But then there are bad men everywhere else in the world.

    Nonetheless, I speak in defense of my Nigerian brothers when I say, they are the best. Once they love, they love and contrary to what you believe, you can actually get them to make you the center of their world and be faithful to you.

    So, against all that you’ve heard or experienced whether you’re a Nigerian woman or not, I’m suggesting you give a Nigerian man a try today and see how it goes.

  56. I was so shocked at this racist tirades against Nigerian men, even if some of you that claimed you got hurt by Nigerian men can’t you or once say something that the person must have done for you that was good. Any person that would label someone that he ha been in love with for a long time as bad bad run away from such a person he or she is poisonous. I am a Nigerian man and I have my partner from Australia and we have lived for over 10 years now she speak my dialect just as we all visit Nigeria and Australia as our homes. I also could say why are Ghanaians also trying to bad mouth Nigerians, these same Ghanaians that always claim thy are Nigerians anytime they want to scam their victims. Ain’t t you guys ashamed? Finally, I will say that any Nigerian man that is involved in such acts is on his own and may he be punished for such. I believe in Karma!

  57. This is addressed to the author especially.Let me ask you:is your father not a Nigerian? Iam guessing yes from your username that your father is a yoruba man.If your father treated your mother like trash, or some men have treated you like garbage, do not blame it on other Nigerian men. It is people like you who complain Naija is not moving,yet you destroy Nigeria by lying against Nigerian men. Okay,you don’t want to marry a Nigerian man,so who will you marry?.That is your business though. You ladies complaining Nigerian men are this and that should check yourselves to see why they are that way to you. Ya’ll critisizing them,like its only Nigerian men in the world. If you’ve been brainwashed into thinking marrying a foreign man,goodluck and continue to live in your biased world;but leave the Nigerian men alone. We Nigerian women who have beem treated well by our men will continue to enjoy them.

  58. Sadly your article reflects most aspects of my marriage and all of my in law. It’s so tough because I love my husband and try hard for him and the children, but I don’t know how much longer I can go on with the verbal abuse and aggression. He has so far stopped short of hitting me. My sister in law not so lucky. The men are twins and behave so similar and sister is now seeking divorce (he even strangled her and serves in the church smiling sweetly). Mine drinks and smokes weed, stopped going to church, if his day at work is bad he comes home and I have hell to pay. I regularly cook separate dinners for him, he doesn’t do chores to help out, unless it is directly his stuff (he wants a shirt for a party so will iron it), and often stays out late or until the next day with people I’ve never met. He says what he does isn’t my business (when he’s drunk), then when he sobers he can’t remember what insults he’s hurled at me. I’m too tired, work full time and need a man who is masterful and godly, with wisdom and maturity. I have the opposite. I wonder what I’ve done, because he wasn’t like this before we married but he changed soon after we married. Maybe he wanted his stay because I am EU national and he isn’t. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown.

  59. I need your help girls to figure out this odd situation I am in. One friend of mine a useless nigerian presented me a nigerian girl, in that day we chatted but she wasnt talkative I couldnt understand why and I was also worried because I’ve never been ignored like this before. On the other day I text message her and she was avoidable, I was shocked and very sad with myself, I spent the whole week thinking on this issue.
    On monday of the subsequent week after the event my friend came showing up how he presented this girl to me, and that he saved my life, I ignored all the bullshit and insulted him. During our conversation a text message came in his cellphone, it was a nigerian guy, he sended him a picture of her reciving a proposal and accepting it, the friend was her husband.
    Im confused because I didnt know she was engaged, she didnt mention it in that day and when I went to talk to her, she and her friends were happy. Accordingly to the useless nigerian she was single when we first had our conversation, he talked to her before and she(acording to him) was keen to meet me, we exchanged phone numbers and we had a conversation via whatsapp before the real dating. In the party day I didnt know she would be there, because I wasnt warned by anyone I went there with my family she even met my parents in that day. During the conversation she was gentle but a little bit shy, and I couldnt understand her avoidance, on the other day I message her on whatsapp but she was still avoidable, as a result I stoped to talk to her because I wasnt having suffice attention. After this I became depressed for one week and got cured after the useless,knuclehead friend finally showed the truth that she was engaged with this guy, and he was in the party, none of them told me anything except for a guy whith a blunter smile on his face who was suspicious, but he also didnt tell me anything.
    I checked her accounts on social network, her facebook dont mention any relationship, she doesnt have any photos with him, they are rarely seen together. The useless friend tried to talk to her he needed explanation but she refused to answer him, when I asked her that he wanted to talk to her she ignored him. This situation is so confused for me, she may be suffering silently but I cant assert surely. I have very few knowledge of nigerian peculiarities, so girls please, help me.

    Sorry for the poor writing, im not a native english speaker.

  60. Hi everybody I am a south african black woman in a wonderful relationship with a nigerian man from wari state we have been together for 6 and half years now, he is very respectful and faithful to me I have never met any man like him even my family adores him he is the first nigerian guy I have ever been with the love he has shown and given to me is priceless I’m talking about a man who supports me in everything or decision I make I have never been loved by a man like the way he does..my point is not all man are the same, there are good and bad in every country. My experience…

  61. We Nigerians, this is why we shouldn’t complain when white people treat us like shit, I am not saying Nigerian man are bad or good, my dad was crazy and he used to hit my mom, they separated and re-married and they are both happy now but that isn’t my point. I have lived in India for 3 years now and i see how Indian men treat there women, Beating a woman in India is allowed, they will say its like correcting your younger siblings, If your parents don’t have money then you are screwed because nobody will marry you, you parents has to give the guy money,car and other stuff. My Indian landlady one day wanted to jump of the balcony and we managed to stop her, I ask her why won’t she report him to the authorities or the parents and she said they won’t do anything because it is allowed. You say women married to Nigerian men have lesser voice, Indian women are voiceless. There is no way a man can hide is true colors, you must have seen signs but we women have a habit of he will change when we get married then we complain when he doesn’t. My point is every culture has its bad part, for 1 good man there are 4 bad ones, that i know but its not like white men aren’t lazy and beaters, They also drink and smoke, but am sure there are good ones, everybody here is shearing a bad experience. If you take a survey, am sure every marriage to a Nigerian man can’t all be bad.

  62. I HAD LOT PROBLEMS IN MY MARITAL LIFE AFTER SIX YEARS IN A RELATIONSHIP, I NEVER KNEW MY MAN WAS CHEATING ON ME, ON TILL WE GOT TWO KIDS TOGETHER. AND I FOUND OUT HE HAVE SUGAR MUM WERE HE ALWAYS VISIT EVERY WEEKEND, AND I QUESTIONED HIM AND WE FIGHT, RIGHT FROM THAT NIGHT WE GOT FIGHT HE LEFT HOME AND STAY WITH HIS SUGAR MUM WHOM IS OLDER TO BE HIS MOTHER. OVER NINE MONTHS HE REFUSED TO COME BACK HOME, AND I DID EVERYTHING JUST TO GET HIM BACK BECAUSE I WANT MY KIDS TO LIVE HAPPY FAMILY. AND I HAD LOT ADVISE THAT LID ME TO DR OBODU RESTORATION CENTRE, AND I CONTACT DR OBODU FOR HELP’ HE DID EVERYTHING PERFECTLY, AFTER THREE DAYS MY MAN CAME BACK HOME AND PROMISED TO LIVE THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH ME. DR OBODU IS MAN OF TRUSTED BECAUSE HE GRANTED MY HEART DESIRE AS HE PROMISED, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS BEEN ATTACHED TO MY POST HE IS READY TO HELP EVERYONE NEEDED HIS HELP HIS EAMIL ADDRESS… obodurestorationcentre@gmail.com

  63. Now you see what Nigerian women have been going through since the beginning of time. African men are simply not worth the time of a woman who wants to live a halfway decent life. Not sure what the advice is for women living in Africa, but I don’t think prayer (to a white god) or even more desperate wife auditioning will help. For African women living in the diaspora, please read and listen to the words of Breukelen Bleu on YouTube and Facebook (do a google search). You’ll understand that African women have been living the reality of one-sided loyalty for too long, to our collective detriment. This is why no other man respects the black man. We treat the African man’s devastating sexism as a bit of an inconvenience, when it’s actually what underpins his permanent failure, and why he can never be respected by other (real) men.

  64. Well this article is very true…I’ve been dating few africans in my past relationship,two of them nigerians were the best pretenders i’ve ever seen,cheats,lies and controlling freaks. I guess few of them out there are cool.

  65. Well as a an American woman once said ” If you’ve got ain’t shit pussy, don’t be surprised if you attract ain’t shit guys”. I think that describes many of the women whining about Nigerian men here.

  66. I beg to differ, sounds like you wrote this article from your own personal experience. Truth is every race and culture will have good and bad men. Im not Nigerian woman but my partner is a Nigerian man from Edo, he’s the most wonderful man ever, he’s a man who works hard to provide for the family, he holds a full time job and yet is actively involved in the caring and raising of his kids and affairs of the house. This is a man who takes turns to cook our meals, he helps to cleans the house because he’s the most tidy person and infact I’m the who gets told off for being messy and leaving my things everywhere around the house. He drinks the occasional glass of wine from home but he is not a smoker. He’s never raised his hand or voice at me, if we have a quarrel we resolve things as repectful adults. of course we are both not perfect and being from different African countries made things difficult at the beginning because of the difference in culture but we got past that. We run our house as partners /equals and no one’s opinion is considered lesser. To paint such a bad picture about Nigerian men is just plain prejudiced , I’ve seen worse men from my own country and other races. There are good and wonderful Nigerian men and I’ve got myself one fine Edo man 😊

  67. I absolutely agree with this article. I think they are sociopathic by culture. I am African American and was dating a Nigerian guy. Definitely good lover in bed, but talks in circles, doesn’t understand women so much. He claims to be Godly and says he goes to church. Its almost like there are two people inside of him. One caring, loving, tender person, and another weird, lying, judgmental, misogynistic person. For the first few months he took me out a lot and was very attentive, wanted to see me a lot. Then something switched and he then began to complain about money money money. He has only been in the US for 5 years, and he is 30 (or so he says, seems a bit more mature in many ways than 30) I am a few years older than him. What has begun to make me suspicious is that he went from texting, calling, literally all day, wanting to see me all the time….to now barely anything and this is AFTER i asked to see his social media. He told me “don’t get upset at what you see it is not what you think” come to find out, he had been seeing someone he hadn’t told me about. From his instagram it appeared that he was trying to “get her back” but he told me that it was over and they didn’t talk anymore. But after that, that’s when a lot of things stopped. We had spectacular sex, very passionate. He’s so confusing, his mother is still in Nigeria but his 2 sisters, himself, and his father live in the US. He claims he has to take care of everyone as the first born boy, and its all about money money. I told him he should date a richer woman (he definitely can get one, as he is extremely charming, sexy, and good in bed) He IS a hard worker at his job. So reading about the family situation, not sure if it is spreading him thin. He says he sends money back to his mother, and even some of his friends he left behind. For some reason these people in Nigeria think he is rich but it could be the image he is giving off to them. He did tell me they grew up pretty poor, so i think he still has that mentality. He isn’t an individual yet…just so many confusing things about this person. I have given up trying to figure him out and just use him for the sex (PROTECTED) because it’s good. I don’t take anything he says serious anymore. I tested him tonight and said “What can i do to help you?” he says “Money.” and i said you want me to give you money? He texts back “Whereever it comes from i don’t care” then i said “I have no money to give to you, but can help with finding a better job.” he says “I know, i probably need a better job” and then he has gone radio silent. Usually he says goodnight, etc. Just for the past few days he has been different. I really think he’s probably talking back to the ex, or there is someone new he’s working on, lol. I’ve dated 4 other Nigerian guys here and they were no better, even the ones with high paying professional careers. VERY proud people, but proud of what, really?

    1. Every word in this article is true! Nigerian men are horrible. If this information was available to me 25yrs ago I would’ve never married my husband! I can’t stand his overbearing family back in Nigeria that think are hard earned money should be at their disposal! I could write a book about Nigerians and why you should stay far away from them! They have no respect for anyone outside their family in Nigeria. I’ve wasted the better part of my life with a man that I dislike! I’m telling you that nigerian men are narrasstic pigs! They care about nothing but money and their dusty country!

  68. Guess what? I was warned by many and ignored all of them… My husband (Nigeria, Igbo) for ten years fits this description perfectly. For the first five years, he played the role of the perfect husband. The whole time, this man was gaming me and his beautiful daughter. Imagine. His only child he abandoned for a little girl back home who he can dominate and feel superior to… How disgusting. I actually put people like this in the category of a sociopath. And you can forget the smart remarks, because I am intelligent and educated. But a sociopath can fool the best of us. Let me help the writer of this article a little. My husband was scheming from day 1. The moment his feet hit American soil. He knew the laws and worked everyone of them…

    The only reason why I can give details is because after ten years, he told me to get out his house and take “his” daughter with me. Giving me some crap like, you don’t even cook (ooops, I guess he forgot, I am a gourmet chef honey, and have often posted pictures of my dishes on facebook along with his sneaky behind eating up all the food…). Then, he claimed I wouldn’t pay any bills in the house. Well sorry sweetheart, I will not give you another dime since I found out you were sending money home to your “fiance” for years…I means years. Yes, I found all the receipts from Western Union along with the emails of she and her family thanking him blessing their needs. Okay, guess what, my money is my money. Try something new… So he moves on to, she can’t clean or keep a house. Wrong again, anyone and everyone who knows me laughed at his story-lying. So when he really got desperate, he tried to set me up and claim I was emotionally abusing him. Lol! Try it again sweetie, it won’t work on this American.

    I am still today fighting with this man. I ask a simple question. Who raised these people? For years he compared himself to American men claiming how bad they were… Lol! This man has left his only daughter/child to pursue a relationship back home with a 26 years. Did I mention he’s 46. Yes, 46, and has never had any job other than working for relatives.

    How funny…these sociopath make crazy Nollywood stories for great movies. But I can’t still believe this is the man I married. But unlike many women who assume, I have proof, plenty of it. Yes, his biggest downfall…he keeps paper, his passwords are easy to break, and he makes so many mistakes. I’ve printed all emails dating back to when he first came here writing to his friends on how to run this scam on Christian American Women. Yes, Christian! These con artists hang out at churches and search online dating sites looking not for love, but a fool for love.

    Yes, hold your insults. I know, I believed him. And for that I take full responsibility. But let me be clear, I know how to fight back. This is where my education, intelligence, and connections will come into play. When I fight, I fight hard. If he wanted a green card he should have paid someone for it…yet he took the easy way out…

    Now, he has the fight of his life on his hands. Trust and believe I will win. Welcome to America! For the day I stop loving you, your American Dream became a nightmare.

    See you real soon…

    P.S. Its amazing how much information you can get from someone at home who really needs the money. That’s right, I got spies even in Nigeria, all the way in your little village. But afterall, Nigerians are all about the hutsle. Don’t for one minute think the little girl who appears to be innocent isn’t working for me… Lol!

    Mission: Give Me My Green Card Back!

  69. What a post! let me tell you, a Naija man can never love someone who has kids from previous marriages or relationships. a Naija man can never truly love a divorcee because is an abomination in Nigeria. My mother s not second hand so while would i married someone with many kids from different men All of you who are here to condemned Naijas are, either over weight, shapeless or rejected goods in your country. South African women are not good for Nigerians. Have you seen a sexy white lady who got married to a Nigerian man? Do you people think we are fools?

    1. Hi Kelly just reading your message make me so sick.How rude how dear you,You have no idea what these women are facing and what they have been through,Why write such rubbish and it’s clear and obvious that men like you who are destined to damage a good woman.Oh seed of the devil don’t ever write such rubbish again I am not what you describe one can show you am in good shape and very beautiful.Go to the gym and loose the belly you have infrount of you,past research has shown 80% of white women has dated black men just to enjoy the sex and when your Al dick is no longer able to satisfy them they dump your Al behind and leave you guys broke and broken with your Al tail between your Al legs like dogs and the same black women your Al are putting down will be left to pick up the pieces no disrespect to white women they take a lot of shit from men like you (better known as wolf in sheep clothing).You are the result of an uncomfortable situation at birth,you have no respect for women I wonder how is the relationship between you and your mother .now if you don’t mind going to prepare a healthy meal.

  70. (1)Oh my GOD I came across this after Googling some stuff I just wanted to know why my partner behave the way he does and if there is anyone who can relate or understanding what it is that am going through at the moment.Am over exausted and confuse only GOD that can help me.I don’t normally post things or tell people what is going on in my home but I want to so people can hear me out and be a bit more cautious.I met my partner a year ago after spending 6 years alone going through a healing process from past wounds and scars from my last relationship.I had gave up on love well to be honest on black men because of the way my dad treated my mom and the way my first ever boyfriend trample me.I was so timid if someone shout at me I will immediately break down in tears anyway when I meet my partner he’s nigerian never thought in a million years I would date a nigerian man because am from the Caribbean and we don’t normally see or encounter such man.Being in uk I was so excited to try something new.when I met him he was a dream being turn into reality he was so caring loving he would say beautiful things to me sometimes I would cry because Thats Al i ever wanted to love someone and to be love.when I met him he was really broke and live on noodles but that didn’t stop me from dating him I would cook food for him and look after him I have no problem in that if u love someone you uplift them.What I love about him he will always encourage me to read and educate myself which was a good thing for anyone to push someone to better themselves (it’s not Al gold).Hes into law school so he ask me to give up my apartment and move into his so we can share the bills to make life a little leasier for him

  71. (2)previous tex “easier”Six month into the relationship I move in.He was really respectful not once he had ask me to sleep with me or touch me within that six months.I gave up my apartment without thinking twice we had loads of fun he would clean cook me noodles because he had no cooker because he can’t cook so he will cook it in the rice cooker.We had decided that we will put together and buy a cooker thank GOD we did.To my great surprise after 5 months living together things took a dramatic turn on me he was ever so bitter abusive with his words.talking about he don’t know if his mom will accept me because I have no degree (his mom is Al about money that vile woman )and he can get someone better than me.The GOD given truth I never once cheated on him because that’s not in my nature he was constantly accusing me about cheating ect,just for peace sake I gave up my male friends .that was an oppressive period I told him my past he even use it as a weapon to hurt me I cry so much it’s a long story so much has happen my friends don’t talk to me as before my twin sister stop speaking to me.She loves me but she said she can’t stand to hear the abuse am under going.I undergo such punishment a whole year the beginning of this year I started to take control of my life don’t want to be in this life anymore I encourage myself daily i feed my mind with positive things while holding on to GOD.I stand up to him he smack my face i smack back his face I smack him really hard he was quiet surprise that was breaking point .I told him I was leaving he cried so much foolish me I stayed.Am still here I must admit I see changes in him he has become more loving and caring again and he even buy me flowers couple weeks after he put me sat down and told me about his upbringing quiet shocking one must admit.A man can never love a woman if he has never been love by his mom in fact he will destroy al the good relationship he encounters untill he finds himself It takes a graceful and strong woman to undergo such trial and still be standing I will not stand up for any form of abuse anymore and I don’t think anyone should.Please speak up and out don’t be afraid we are good for now and I pray it stays that way if not I will leave this time.I think there is someone good deep down inside that’s why am still here only God knows why am here.I will not judge Al nigerian men the same it have good men out there.i have a son who’s 12 and he’s a wonderful man and I want him to continue to be a wonderful man we can only hope and pray for the best .I pray for healing for Al the ladies on here don’t give up on love,Love will find you again

  72. This is exactly what actually Nigerian men are. I am dating a Nigerian guy and he is 100% what is written above. He even threat beating me, I am safe since we don’t live together. They are beyond tolerance level. Never date a Nigerian guy, my request to every girl.

  73. Just broke up with a Nigerian man today after 5 almost 6 months of being together. He was so attentive and loving in the beginning and then after 2-3 months he just became distant with me. I would call him and he wouldn’t return my calls or texts in a decent time period. I would tell him that his not returning my calls or texts in a relatively decent time period bothered me and he would turn it back on me and make me feel bad like I was in the wrong. I even asked him if he wanted out of the relationship because his actions were telling me he did. He told me I was making a big deal out of nothing. And he always had excuses for things. I would call him on Friday and Saturday and get no response until Sunday evening when I tried to call him again. He always had excuses like, he was working, or he didn’t feel good, etc. How hard is it to respond to your girlfriend’s texts or calls? I mean I feel like that’s not something I should even have to ask him to do?! When I would go a few hours without returning his calls he would be very upset with me. And lately when we talk he always seems annoyed and everything I say seems to irritate him. These last 2 months I tried to be patient with him, but I just could not take it anymore. People will only treat you the way you allow and I love myself too much to let someone treat me any less than what I feel I deserve. When I broke up with him this afternoon he seemed very shocked and surprised. I was surprised that he felt that way, but believe his actions said otherwise. Anyways big lesson for me is that when a guy says he loves you after the first 1-2 weeks of dating and that he wants you to be the one he marries within the first couple of months…proceed with caution as those may be red flags. I have to be honest that I am embarrassed, upset and ashamed that I did lose my virginity to this guy….I mean he seemed really genuine and I am still convinced he is. I am just glad that I didn’t have a baby or get married to him. I still believe there are good and bad in all races, cultures, etc, but just be careful and proceed with caution with the Nigerian men!

  74. Hmmm…..interesting! Are you ladies looking for your prince charming in Nigeria? If the men were as great as they pretended to be in the beginning, what makes you feel like the lucky woman who nabbed him?
    Lol, relationships takes two people! There’s good and bad in every nationality.
    Now due to very poor living conditions in (some parts) of Nigeria and population, can you really blame them taking any drastic measure to depart from it?
    Words they swear by that you women fall for:
    My Queen
    I Cherish You
    My Princess
    Love of my life
    My wife (when you just met the day before)
    We were destined to be (lol) ….you just was dumb enough to accept the request and allowed him in your inbox.
    I love you forever…..ok
    If you leave me, I would be devastating my heart is fragile……OK
    These are the stories I hear all the time. I find it entertaining. To this day, I have never dated An African, but if I did, I wouldn’t give him my money, cell phone, clothes, pay an invisible person hospital bills. Immigration fees.
    Done of you women need to take ownership of your own behaviors and quit putting all the blame on men. Just because you thought sex, food, and your money could keep him. Never, shi* men abandon their own kids, so what make you think they will be loyal to you?!
    .

  75. Psychologically,Nigerian men are a MESS.Have known one for 16 years married and divorced him,on the grounds of verbal abuse,physical abuse and you guessed it lets hear it for adultery.Won’t say
    more since all else that needs to be said are in these other posts.Normal people have empathy,a conscience.At first I heard a little something about these people but I said hey you get bad apples in all cultures of people around the entire world so I was smart and said I would proceed in faith and let all play out for itself-To me they are scary unpredictable bullshitters that had psychological issues during
    their adolescent upbringing-I don’t hate Nigerians its just Keep your shit real and be upfront instead of putting people through unnecessary B/S because life is short-my time is precious-if I give you my time
    you were lucky- like it pissed me off because when you look back I could have been delving and basking in the deep beautiful rivers of life enjoying the purity of life- ladies- a piece of meat if they can use it good ( long dickin) is not worth you losing the purity of life over and like Allen Iverson did to Tyronn Lue- drop that ass and step over that ass like the Queens we are : ) <3,

  76. Well said Annette,there comes a time when you reach whats called The Limit, every Queen has
    a Limit Meter created within her by default.So no one is here to Bash these men because they have
    already bashed themselves and let them do so —save our precious energy I thought men from Africa were Original Kings— but doesn’t truth recognize truth- what king would offend true Queens-
    don’t waste your energy on conversation topics if its not worthy for your lips- stay blessed every moment,beautiful Queens. Now for my Queens that recognize themselves as such-the problem is not Nigerian,American, Muslim,Saudi, Asian men,the problem is within you because if you recognize WHO YOU ARE- at the first smell because I KNOW from experience-from the first smell of a mans bullshit heres what you do because it is what a Queen will do- Rise up- Rise up and Step Over His Ass Like Allen Iverson did to Tyronn Lue LOL much love my Queens be always blessed in every moment of the day recognize your value as God placed the value,never let anyone re-value or re-define you based on their mental issue.

    Be blessed

  77. I have been reading these post for a good part of the night. I have dated a Nigerian brother just for one month. But I can’t help but notice a pattern of behaviors. There were a few post that were optimistic in nature, but most have been the same story, just a different day!! If I wasn’t seeking the truth I would have stop reading hours ago. But my patients are sleeping and meds are not due for another hour, so I thought I should be enlightened!! I guess we don’t have a chance according to these statistics…it’s such a shame because I really thought that we would get along well. But lies only last for so long before being exposed!! He hasn’t done anything wrong THUS far, but just as you can tell when the season will change, I don’t have to ask God will there be a winter this year!! There definitely will be a winter!!

  78. @meagreenajayi
    This is true I’ve been married to a Nigerian man for two years.Im absolutely miserable and we don’t go on dates he don’t buy me nice things he’s always lying about finances I think I’m being used for a green card and he think he has gotten over on me but boy do I have a surprise when we get to immigration interview 😂😂😂

  79. Lol…Anyone who post this article just dont want any white or Black American woman to marry anyone from Africa, expecially Nigeria. I dont like writing on peoples comment all i will say is that life itself is complicated, if not we will not have morning, afternoon and evening, am a Nigerian man if i tell you what a man like me is going thru in my marriage you will not say all Nigerian men are bad. Every countries have their culture, if you think Nigeria man treat you bad why do you have to get married to a man from another country, why dont you marry a man in where you are born. Are you going to tell me that you never treat the man bad or you dont know Nigerian culture before you try to settle down with a Nigeria man?, well i will not say much but it will be great if you can look back to the good side of the man, perhape you never say he used you for his green card but some African American lady will be treating their man bad base on the wrong article they find on the internet, theres no stupid or crazy man, if you know your man is one of does then you should know how to make him right. LOVE, people dont know the meaning of the word called LOVE thats why the lady who write this article think all Nigerian men as used her… If you get married to a man and you LOVE him so to say then you should not trade him for any woman. Theres bad and good women and men out there, you just dont have the luck to met the right one. No man want to be treated like slave or cant have his own saying, i bet this article will ruin so many relationship and bring peace to so many marriage, am sure some people will use it wrongly, expecially the ladies who their husband treat them bad, instead of them to find a solution to the problem in the but they will not,instead jump from one fire to another.

  80. I can only give my opinion of my own experiences with Nigerian and African men but sadly from my experience, (i express!) its very true that they lie, cheat and use english white women. All white women have not been brought up without morals and values you know and will be extremely loyal- just thought id put that out there The article above says that they live beyond their means! Yes they do! haha Flash cars,expensive jewelery and clothes but in the home its a different case altogether. It seems to be all about showing off but the houses are very basic in my exoerience. Not a problem really about the house until you get to the grit if it all. I love experiencing new and different cultures but i have come to think that a relationship as a white british woman with an African man just wont work. However, I think my experiences may have been different if my partners had been brought up totally in my own country as i know that there are many happy relationships between white and african descent that have elders that have already lived in british society. The problem is when elders and their families are still in Africa and have their own values and beleifs and their children have moved on into the western world-this is when African men hit a very difficult descion- its either the family or the white woman they love. I have been with my African partner for 6 years and we could both, very happily spend our life time together! His family are in Africa and have never met me or travelled over to England. I met his sisters though and cousins here in England and all was well until the family in Africa began putting pressure on my partner to end it with me They have said and i will put this out there on the internet that they want him to marry a younger black woman, with no children and will never accept me! Wtf they dont know me!! lol. He said to them he wants to marry me. His family are prepared to disown him and exclude him for good if he did marry me. So as a british woman i would expect him say sod off its my life and iam in love but for my man its not that simple. The pressure they are putting on him is unbearable for him and i dont think he will be able to cope with it all. I feel that i sadly i will have to let him go although we are very much in love.My family have welcomed him with open arms but his family hate me without even knowing me! Iam 6 yrs older and lost my husband at a young age- so that dosent go down well with his family for a start!. Whats wrong with the world today?? Still after thousands of years on earth we still cant marry and be happy with the one we truly love- no matter what culture or colour we are. Whether you like it or not it is a racial, cultural thing-end of! but NOT from the british white society whatso ever and i truly know that! Sod his family how can they not want him to be happy!! Shame shame shame on them all!! The god they sooooo worship will judge them all – sorry but thats true in my culture anyway! maybe i just dont get it!!

    1. @hels i really appreciate your oppinion and i know how it fell when once family dont like your partner, it happen everywhere in the world but if an African man wants to get marry to a woman whi cant give birth to children is always complicated, life itself is complicated, am so sorry for woman whos africa man as hurt in one way or another, what about other racices that have hurt Africa man. Men always love to be in control because a Godly woman who knows what the bible says will always make his man the head of the house but that cant happen in another country like canada,US etc just because the bills are so high for a man who wants to live long and not ready to die young by working two jobs simply because he wants to be the head of the house hold will not say he wants his wife to listen to all what he says. I remember years back the culture in US is that women are always listening to their man but because their man still go about and cheat make them believe that they can work and also put money in the house hold that will make men to listen to them wheb they speak, if woman does not want men to be the head of the house hold i net invthe next years theres going to be more tgan 100% single mother out there. I know some people dont believe in God, some will say Sin is sin no matter how little the sin you commit, yes i believe sin is sin but why dont u commit one sin and find someone who will take you out of the sin and be happy for the rest of your life, am not preaching to anyone. I know its hard to let go the man or woman u love but God knows the best. Africa man are not evil, theres always reasons for everything in life, if a man is cheating then there most be something missing in that marriage, people keep saying Africa men are bad but no, some people have been using this article to treat their africa man bad and some women as use advice to treat their man bad and when the man leave them they will come here and say african man are bad. Why will u treat a man bad and think the man will remain with you, you treat him bad because of what people as told you or by listening to someone who as been in a bad relationship with an africa man. Well i will stop here and advice women who as been hurt to stop painting africa men bad to find their love and stay happy, all men and all woman are not the same, also lots of people have differencies.

  81. THE ONLY TRUTH FROM A TRUE HONEST NIGERIAN MAN…I am a Nigerian man and I feel I should set everyone here free.

    Yes this article is all true we Nigerian men are very bad…infact I will encourage all foreign women stay clear of Nigerian men because they are all bad and our culture is deep and I will explain. Firstly I must say It is foolishness or ignorant to single out any individual from Nigeria and just generalize them as the same, for example I am from Ondo state in Ondo town and of the Yoruba tribe I was born into polygamy and I believe in polygamy full time. My senior brother believes in polygamy in limited circumstances such as first wife barrenness. If u r from a west country like England you will likely hate my belief in Polygamy but it is allowed in my country and culture and the women are not forced to marry me. My culture in Nigeria is just one of the tradition and culture we have in Nigeria. Our population is actually more than 200 million and we have got over 200 tribes and traditions so to single out one Nigerian culture or man and judge others is simply ignorantly silly. Some tribes in Nigeria only the men cook in others only the women cook and while in some it is shared some tribes believe in Polygamy such as the Yorubas and Hausa while the igbos don’t or in limited circumstances. Some tribes believe the first born son should shelter all the financial responsibility of the family which personally I think is too much burden but its their culture and their problems. .

    Enough lectures on the diversity of the Nigerian culture and let us address some stupidity and double standard the world uses by checking on world leaders.

    KENYA- your current president Kenyatta as got 4 wives who can blame him Kenya women are dark tall and beautiful not to mention the sexyness in bed.

    SOUTH AFRICA- your current president Zuma as got 6 wives and who can blame the man with the sexy beautiful round backsides of south african women.

    Please kindly name one single African Leader that is faithful to his wife.

    Even the world leader can’t hold on to their foolish promise. .

    AMERICA USA- Clinton former US President got a reliable and constant blowjob from Monica an intern in the White House and his wife Hillary smartly stood by him knowing fully well that men are naturally dogs and any dog can easily stray except a deeply religious dog and they do stray once in a while.

    The former Governor of California impregnated his maid.

    Donald Trump another president hopeful is currently on his third marriage and all his wives have got children for him. Example of hidden polygamy in the western culture but they refused
    to call it polygamy. They do it one at a time.

    The Royal family late princess D left a white dick for an arab african one and England could not handle it and had her killed.

    Now my messages to most white women of the western world please respect yourself and try to find marry or date only white men from your culture.
    Nigeria was once the pride of Africa but poverty looms now and conditions are not great…My young Nigerian brothers will do anything and say anything to escape the poverty in Africa. If you are white older and ugly and no real good man wants you as a partner in your country why would u think a young african brother will want u for real? Most migrants brothers without a permanent visas will promise love, say and do anything to get money, a place to live or a permanent visa or citizinship. If you are white and 3 years older than your Nigerian male partner u are likely been used for something such as visa or money. If u are white and fat and u find it difficult keeping a fellow white man then trust me you are been used for something… Nigerian men love beautiful women not fat. Forget the stupid stories they tell u about Nigerian men loving fat women some do but very few…look at nigerian marriages on youtube and you get the idea of the kind of pretty women 9ja men love.

    I am a polygamist and I love it I don’t cheat in my marriage all my wives and girlfriend know I am married and I use protection whenever I sleep with anyone until we both get tested STI and they become my wife. I sometimes cook for my wives and I take care of them financially. All my wives have got a minimum of a Batchelor Degree and some have got Doctoral degrees I will not date anyone without a degree for education honesty and understanding is important if marriages are going to survive. I refuse to live the lies pretentious society the west have created that as caused many marriages to end. Christians read your bible how many wives and concubine did the wisest man Solomon have? What about David? Why didn’t God call it a sin? One person in the bible even married to sisters because he was cheated by the girls father.

    Please open your eyes and stay clear of Nigerian men because they can be as dangerous as Bill Clinton who lied–‘ I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN but it later turned out that he also got a blow job Monica…Former USA president Bill Clinton must be a Nigerian and his wife must have been a black dumb stupid uneducated Nigerian woman who stuck by her husband, and Hillary Clinton is now running for president even after her husband was caught getting a blow job. WOW WHAT A WORLD. NIGERIAN MEN ARE REALLY BAD AND TIGER WOODS, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER ALL AFRICAN PRESIDENTS AND BILL CLINTON ARE ALL GOOD AND DEVOTED FAMILY MEN….Stay clear of Nigerian men.

    1. Thanks bro for stating the double standards of the white race and western world. Some white people are completely fucked up. Men are now getting the legal right to screw each others ass, openly accepted but they frown at polygamy which involves natural sex. Foolish standards. Polygamy rights before any gay rights…we muslims have been pushing for this for centuries but I guess the white mans ass is more important to the western culture.

  82. >>> I thought my Nigerian ex bf was the worst man I have ever met…knowing that he is an elder in International church here. It is a long story but I a m not saying all of them have got dickheads… im talking about my horrible experience with a Nigerian guy. We were together for a year, in a nutshell he was a womanizer, user and a professional liar. LOL … Nigerian men out there, dont get offended with my comment-you know who u are-no harm done I’m just sharing a nightmare from a Nigerian ex bf.

  83. Having read the comments, I’ve become very wary of the Ebony Jones commenter. If your marriage is so blissful and rosy, what are you doing on a page like this? Why do you feel the need to continuously post about how wonderful your marriage is?

    In short, people who have great international relationships don’t spend their time constantly searching for articles like this: about bad experiences with men from cultures or nations that are known to be notoriously patriarchal. Nobody is saying here that all Nigerian men are bad but a LOT of them are for such traits to be perceivable enough to spark discussion.

    Good for you if you ARE in a good relationship but if you ask me, I don’t believe you as like I already explained, you wouldn’t be neurotically spamming this page with your comments. You’d just carry on with your daily business. Therefore, it’s either your relationship ISN’T as brilliant as you’re making it out to be – and you’re not only using this article to fact-check your own predicament but also pretending things are hunky-dory to further delude yourself into believing your relationship’s still feasible – or, more likely, you’re a Nigerian man with a bruised ego posing as a woman married to a Nigerian man to tip the scales a bit here.

    So, which one is it?

    1. It’s interesting that I haven’t been on this post for months yet my name gets called out. I respond to the post because I get notifications on articles. I am still married and doing good. Sorry, you are so concerned about me! Now I am responding because I have time since I am off work until next week. Don’t hate because your relationship is messed up! Oh I am really, go to Facebook and look me up! I gave my opinion and experience and you can’t stand it. Sorry, not everyone is going to experience the same things in life. Get throwing shade and assuming I am fake. If this keeps you going by believing that mess than go for it!

      Peace!

    2. People always are looking for bad things in these relationships but get upset because they come across a good one. I don’t have abusive stories to tell, I don’t have angry stories to tell, and no one has stolen my money. No I am not ugly or desperate! Love came into my life at the right time. You and everyone else can verify that I am real by looking me up on amazon because I am an author, going on Facebook, or going on Instagram. You and Ms. Unhappy go search for me since it’s so hard to believe people can actually be happy! So sad, I hope happiness and love come your way soon!

  84. This is absolute bull shit. I am a south African woman married legally to a nigerian man, I can say I did not know what it means to be truly loved by a man until I met him. Before him I dated south african only and I was stereotyted toward nigerian men. My husband helps me with house chores, he sometimes cooks for me and helps taking care of our son too. He is romantic, he buys me gifts, takes me of vacations, accompany me shopping etc., we make all decisions together. Apart from that he respects me, adores me, and flaunts me, he always reserves the best for his wife. If i come from work tired he may opt for a take aways. He brings me food to work. And he earns an honest living making more money than i am. He has never laid a hand on me and I have never had to clean after him. I am happily married and cant wait to meet him for lunch this afternoon.

  85. This is nonsense! I’m an English woman married to a Nigerian man. He has a wonderful character, is honest, trustworthy, responsible, prayerful and God-fearing. He is a brilliant cook (better than me). When I met him I explained that I am vegetarian and asked him to consider stopping eating meat. He agreed to do this, although he still eats fish, but has now become a very good vegetarian cook! He does more than his fair share of household tasks, including cooking and cleaning, and he never complains about this or is in any way lazy. He doesn’t smoke or drink – ever, doesn’t believe in polygamy (because he has seen the negative effects of it), and is not chauvinistic. He has never hit me or laid a hand on me. This article is very unfortunate. Perhaps the author has had negative experiences. However, these should not be extended to all, or most Nigerian men. There are good and bad men in all communities and cultures. We need to develop greater awareness of our own prejudices, must not generalise them and pass them off as facts. Nigerians are already presented in a negative light by the media, and this article does not help matters!

  86. Omg!!! Nigerian men are the worst, eh?? Oh please!!! Have any of you ever dated a JAMAICAN man?! Or even worst a HAITIAN man?!? Please… Men will be men… These stupid articles are clearly written by people who are less traveled, naive and don’t know much about the world and maybe have only dated an American guy and a Nigerian guy? And voicing the evil between the two. What’s so great about American men? where are their morals? family values? do they provide by any means necessary? And you all clearly have NOT dated a cardibean islander. Because the above article could’ve EASILY been “Reasons not to marry a Jamaican/Haitian/Trinidadian/etc.” oh and let’s not forget about the biggest scammers of them all.. Kenyan men!

    So please spare me…. Yes there are some bad ones out there but their are also some great ones. They are smooth talkers, but once again. You must not have dated a cardibean guy because you would be 2 steps ahead of the game and no what a RED flag is and when to fucking runaway.

    Use what you got, to get what you want! Stop being so weak and naive. He loves you? Okay… Well let him prove it to you! Every damn day.

  87. It is true that not all Nigerian men act unfavourably. However, a disproportionate amount of them do and posts, articles, discussions, sites, etc. like the one here aren’t exactly rarities. What does that tell you? Also, it is true that other cultures, nations, communities, etc. have their own share of rotten apples.

    The difference lies in whether such behaviour is culturally naturalised, accepted or essentially a tacit expectation of said culture. If it is – as it is in Nigeria and many other heavily patriarchal societies, where men are visible and godheads while the women are ancillary, to seen not heard and basically invisible outside familial and domestic contexts – then you have a problem.

    I would also add a lack of education for such a phenomenon. You might have all the degrees/titles in the world appended to your name and be affluent and in a high-powered job but those don’t mean anything if you lack essential social, interactional and personal skills that enable you to open your senses and realise that you don’t own the world. You’re merely integral to it and in order to exist fairly, ethically, progressively and happily, you need to be humble, open-minded and collaborate with it. This includes other individuals, particularly women, who too have their own personalities and aspirations, not to mention individuals from other cultures where things are bound to run differently for them experientially. I could concede to the possibility this point is more individualistic than broadly cultural but it still plays a part.

    In short, my experience with Nigerian men has not been pleasant and I’m yet to come across a respectful one that sees me as an actual person and not an object to use, abuse, exploit and neglect. The ones I’ve sadly encountered tend to share traits: sex-obsessed, desperate to court/bed after an hour of meeting, conversationally shallow/limited, no proper interest in you and your life, neurotically jingoistic, rude and abusive, unreliable, miserly, immature, irresponsible, misogynistic and, above all, egoistic. Most have pretended to be nice initially for a purpose (mainly sex or forcing ‘romance’ for other personal agendas) but turned and abandoned contact when I’ve refused to comply – which is for the better. It doesn’t matter either that they’re ‘God-fearing’ or religious [that’s not a hallmark of a decent person anyway, as I’ve found out].

  88. My wife who’s Black American brought this blog to my attention. I’m 100% Nigerian and even though I detest the writer’s opinion on the topic of discussion ( which I somehow think springs from her personal experiences with Nigerian men) , it’s sadly true that ‘some’ Nigerian men fits into the writer’s description. I detest the writer’s opinion solely because she generalized ALL Nigerian men into her categorization: emotionally, psychologically and materially predatory.

    I grew up in Nigeria and moved to the US when I was 30 years old in pursuit of ‘my American dream’ with a Visa. I Met my wife on an online dating site and when she asked me what I do for a living while we’re chatting on the dating site( note that she hadn’t given me her phone number at that time), I told her I wasn’t working. She asked me why I wasn’t working and I told her why: I didn’t have my papers and can’t apply for jobs. She was stunned! She later told me years after that I’d won her heart by telling her the truth about me and she felt I wouldn’t lie about ordinary things, so she decided she’d give me a chance.

    Also, during our courtship, as she later also told me, she was expecting me to act in anyway that her friends had pictured a Nigerian man: she had expected me to ask her for money; ask her to take me shopping while she foots the bills; ask her money for my rent or money to send home to my family, etc but none of these things happened after 2 years of courtship.

    Now the story gets more interesting. Her friends who had misrepresented Nigerian men just as this writer had, were still single, unhappy about their dating experiences, not dating and very jealous of her. Then they started to ask my wife if I have Nigerian friends who’re single and ready to mingle. Yeah! True talk!

    It’s been Four years now and we’ve been blessed with a son who’s Eighteen months old now. Has our marriage been rosy? NO! We have our differences which ranges from cultural orientation, beliefs to norms and values. But above all, we ultimately have mutual respect and consideration for one another. Without these ingredients, no marriage will ever work regardless of the nationalities involved in the marriage.

    Truth is, I’ve sometimes fit so perfectly into some of the writer’s opinion of Nigerian men but have worked on myself (some work is still in progress) and I strive to improve on things that my wife detests( which before now I was oblivious about). The beauty of it all is that it’s vice versa. She’s come to realize now that she also have some things to improve herself on.

    I think I should add that most women are quick to jump into a relationship with foreign men without actually knowing how damaged these men are. If it’s possible to run a background check on Nigerian men about their past lives in Nigeria, so many women around the world would have been saved of their miseries from these men but since it’s impossible to know about these men’s past, you still can figure out one or two red flags about them during courtship if you’re ready to call a spade a spade. Also, very important, ask a lot of questions! Ask these questions weeks, months and years after just to know if there’ll be a slight change in their responses/answers.

    Finally, my heart goes out to all the ladies who have contributed their experiences to this blog. It’s just heart aching to read through your experiences and not be sad. Please pray to God to give you a man that He’s destined for you and not necessarily the one that you have chosen. Trust that the Man upstairs answers prayers.

  89. I am American and I regret the day I met my daughter’s father who is Nigerian. I don’t like to stereotype, so even if I read this article I would try not to generalize. everyone has tge ability to choose a different path. We live and learn. I think i will focus on living me until God sends me my Boaz.

  90. I’m married to a Nigerian man and yes I agree this post is true, he treats me like crap I’m so unhappy he picks and chooses when to argue and I do give as good as I get but it’s getting me no where every day we fight I’m completely lost for words I’m stuck I can’t get out I have a 10month and 5 months pregnant I’m so lost I hate my life…

  91. Looool it was like reading a novel! Firstly for the people that are saying not all Nigerian men are like this, ofc we know that but let’s face the facts. Most of them are like this ( my ex the chief of them all) like seriously every woman here is speaking based on their experiences so if this much people be talking about Nigerian men all over the way Internet doesn’t that tell you something? I get it other men in different cultures are like this but I bet you will not find as much information on women bashing them.

  92. Whoever wrote this article is insane…….One thing is certain we have good men and women and we also have the bad ones but it’s really no excuse to stereotype.Truth is wome can’t be satisfied no matter how much you try as a man.The same women will be the ones complaining he’s not rich enough,he’s too short,he’s not good looking,hes stingy,he’s not good in bed,he is too quiet,he is to soft and the b.’s never ends.My prayer for you is that you will have nothing but son even if you are married to a foreigner he’d still have Nigerian blood and I pray they will also tag your bastard son the samend thing.Thank God your father is or was a Nigerian.
    Madame oloriburuku

  93. This article is 101 percent true! Life taught me a very harsh lesson about nigerian men. Nigerian men dont appreciate a good, honest and loyal woman. They prefer to play games. No matter how many ttimes you forgive a nigerian man that has cheated several times he will continue to cheat and the only response that he will give you is….am a man you should understand such things should not bother you. A nigerian man don’t like a hard-working smart woman they prefer the ones who they can easily walk over on. They time wasters and make you believe that they all perfect the moment your awake and realise and see the truth for yourself is when they get angry because you realise who they truly are!!! So the moment i know a man is nigerian I pay no attention to them. Iv e heard that lame line that not all Nigerians are the same…..like i said I learnt the bitter hard way!

  94. well, I had that problem a week ago before I deactivated his facebook because Edrance Eyoh was really acting like a jokester and not smart. So I haven’t heard from him in a while. How does one stop a fake Nigerian guy loving for no reason?

  95. I am an African American woman married to an Urhobo man. My husband is the greatest. We have been married for a year. His family adores me as mine does him. He takes really great care of me, he is very romantic, he carries all of my things (won’t let me carry anything, not even my purse), opens all of my doors, pushes in my chair, he likes to pick out my clothes so that we match…lol… And has great taste in shoes for me (I looooove shoes) and clothes that are made for me. Like, seriously he makes me feel like the queen that I am. Also, he is a very good Christian man and understands the Bible very well… There’s nothing I can really say that is negative, we do argue sometimes as any other couple does, but it’s usually just a communication issue (a phrase meaning something different to him than to me because of our culture or backgrounds) and is resolved quickly. We don’t go to bed angry. He is very hard working. I’ve never experienced anyone like him while I was dating American men, not to talk down American men I’m pretty sure there are some good ones out there, I just never met them. Which is okay because I am content with out relationship. My best-friend is my brother-in-law, he and his wife are both Urhobo (my Christian mentors), and wife kinda wears the pants in the house, they are 50/50 on house chores and cooking… So, this article kind of surprises me………………..

    1. Extras:

      Well, I guess I shouldn’t say that she “wears the pants” but he lets her be her own person and he’s calm, relaxed, and considerate. They come from a family that believes in taking care of their women like royalty.

  96. The writer is one of the new feminists around, she’s not married, no amount of stupidity will get you a huband, monkey, i know this lazy ass.

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