What can’t we see on this earth? First, It was the woman who fell in love and enjoyed having sex with a tree, now a man?!
There is a new synthetic drug sweeping the great state of Florida— it’s called “flakka,” and it’s best described as a newer, more intense version of bath salts— because, apparently, the drug people think of when they think of someone eating another dude’s face is still too mellow for some people.
According to several reports, flakka has been responsible for a string of bizarre behavior in south Florida. (Or, more bizarre than usual.) Firstly, a man high on flakka allegedly tried to break into a police station in Fort Lauderdale. Then another man, who was also reportedly on the drug, stripped naked down Broward Boulevard; skillfully dodging police cruisers and screaming about how the people who stole his clothes were trying to kill him as he did so. Now: a dude tried to have sex with a tree…and that’s not even half of it.
According to WKMG, Kenneth Crowder was seen running naked through a residential neighborhood (clearly a flakka side effect) yelling about how he was God and committing what is described as a “sexual act” on a tree. By the time a police officer arrived Crowder had assumedly “finished” because he had gotten dressed, but that didn’t stop him from still introducing himself to the deputy as the creator of the universe and walking towards him in an “aggressive manner.” He then allegedly proceeded to go at the cop with clenched fists. When the cop tried tasing him, Crowder “pulled the probes out of his body and continued to fight.”
If that sounds metal, listen to this: Crowder then switched personalities from God to Thor (the Norse god of thunder) and proceeded to try and stab the officer with his own badge. How he got it, and what part he used isn’t made clear.
Crowder, whose mugshot shows him with a black eye, was booked into the Brevard County Jail Complex. He later posted bond and was released.
You want to know the scariest thing of all? According to WKMG, while the majority of chemicals in bath salts were banned in 2011, the primary active ingredient in flakka is still 100 percent legal.