Bait A Mate By John Jv Iyoha

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Let me blow your mind this very instant, do you know of the Mannequin Bird? No you don’t, receive knowledge now. I saw this video on YouTube a while back and I kind of realized that irrespective of breed, the male form would always be on some ultimate search for the mate (the female). So the male Mannequin bird wants to attract a mate, and it has to moonwalk, Michael Jackson has nothing on this member of aviary. Real funny video fam, the bird repeatedly shuffles from side to side of a branch without raising its feet, while the female mannequin spectates like Charly Boy on Idols west Africa on a fault finding mission. Funny thing is, after all that harebrained shuffling, the female still has a choice to make, to kpansh or not! It’s just wrong. You don’t know the meaning of kpansh? Ask a friend, a liberal friend.

I have more bird stories, you want to hear? No? Let’s get back to humanity, what it takes to woo the mate, what amount of charm you need to possess, what amount of money, what amount of debonair. Really all these factors are subjective; they vary based on the parties involved. Let me give you instances – I once went on a few dates with someone who adored me because I stuttered slightly and of course my British accent, when you hear me talk you would agree, trust me. I knew a girl in Uni who loved the fact that her boyfriend physically abused her; she totally adored him for it, the oddities of life right? I always thought she needed T.B Joshua. Some people are all kinds of strange, all shades of grey, the Anastasia Steeles of our time. The point is people are attracted by the unexpected things, the unseen things. Just look around you, the finest boy doesn’t necessarily marry the finest girl (he could, but he won’t), the most intellectually gifted girl doesn’t even like the boy genius in class, the Pastor’s son doesn’t even marry the typical church girl; King Kong and Ann, Beauty and the Beast, The Frog and the Princess, Obasanjo and His delightful wife, Stella of blessed memory, Hugh Hefner and Pamela Anderson; these diversities perfect us. The mishmash of nature indeed

One thing I find really intriguing about wildlife is their business designed approach to breeding- I dance for you, you like me, we make babies. As much as I want the human race to copy this, imagine the chaos it would cause. We are too emotionally intelligent to cope with such mechanism. Also, apart from sex, we all have emotional needs to meet, hence our more complicated approach. So we choose and select, select and choose. Then we regret and start all over. For us humans, it’s always easy to mate but never easy to steady-mate the very mate…Do you understand? Our male species fear commitment like it’s our apocalypse; we want the visits but not the stay; the sex, but not the “so what are we now?” Even recently, a few females don’t take commitment serious until age starts to remind them.

Like the mannequin bird, we all need to find our devices, what makes you, you. What’s that charm combo that opens doors for you. Find it, flirt with it, then love, then settle down, you don dey old.

“To catch a mate is an art; to keep one is a job”


Image: Web

John Jv Iyoha (@JonHelsing)

Young, black and gifted! That’s all…

Wait!  Human by existence, Hiphop by tribe, Optimist by faith, Dope by choice, Illustrious by divine arrangement.

You are now watching the throne




Digital nerd


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