Singles Only: 7 Ways To Celebrate That Presumed Inauspicious VALENTINE Day

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With less than 40-hours to Valentine day in Nigeria, my only admonishment to the singles among us is to keep the Valentine day absolutely simple.

I’m not going to tell you to go roast a chicken for one, or to take yourself on an awesome date, wandering the street of Lagos with an audio tour and then dining at the counter at Four-point hotel with some Pinot, your iPad, and half of your dignity intact.

But if you indeed feel like the company of other humans will do you good, or if you need a cleansing ritual of some kind to get over your ex, sfist publication have given us a few suggestions that will make you sing that ‘Dead and Gone’ song to your ex.

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1. Print out some photos of your ex, take them down to a pier, rip them in pieces and scatter them in the Bay.

I am not actually endorsing littering, or pollution, but I also can not endorse lighting them on fire during a drought.

2. Go do some exercise.

If you’re the athletic type, and especially if you’re newly single, this could do you good, Give yourself some exercise cause to have your heart broken. And not just broken; shattered, into itsy bitsy tiny little pieces, by a girl who never loved you and never will. It might just get you in the best shape of your life.

3. Begin your bender on Thursday, and by Sunday you’ll barely remember a thing.

Again, I’m not encouraging unsafe behavior. But let’s say you’re a gay male and you enjoy a quirky dance party now and again. You could go to the second installment of Kittens, a new Thursday weekly at Oasis, this one dubbed the Stray Cats Ball. You could have a few beers, perhaps make out with someone, perhaps even go home with someone, then lather, rinse, and repeat on Friday

And then spend Saturday day-drinking and pass out happily in your bed by 7 p.m.!

4. Go to that pillow fight thing.

It’s big. It’s messy. It’s youthful. The cops and clean-up crew hate it. But if you’ve never been, by all means.

5. Eat your way through it.

I’m not advocating taking yourself on any dates. But there are a few places and events where you can bring a friend, and you aren’t likely to be faced with roomfuls of happy/pretend-happy couples doing their V-Day due diligence before going home to have routine, joyless sex. You can also eat yourself to stupor or you can probably grab a seat at the bar or a communal table and chow down on some of her Mulato chile-braised short ribs before blacking out on margaritas.

6. Go hide out at the movies and cry.

It’s a good night for movies, and you surely have a friend who can go with you if you prefer not going to the movies by yourself. Get yourself to the Silverbird Galleria and watch a kool action movie. Do not, under any circumstances see Romeo & Juliet. If you do, then you’ll be emotionally assassinated.

7. Seriously, it’s going to be beautiful out there. Get over yourself.

It’s going to be sunny and 70 all weekend. Everybody’s going to be in a good mood except for your roommate Bill who’s never in a good mood and who still reads the Drudge Report.

Go to the beach with a gang and build a bonfire when the sun goes down. Go up to wine country. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter to prove that there are people who are way worse off than you (and just because it’s a worthwhile thing to do on days that aren’t Thanksgiving).

I don’t know. It’s going to be fine, alright? We’ll get through this you and I. We always do.

Datboyjerry

Datboyjerry

I am but your herald boy in the art of the pen.. An eccentric Environmental Biologist smouldered in the glorious epiphany of online journalism.

If you ever find my article unduly insipid, sue me and i’ll refund you…

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