If I had a penny for every time I told myself I could not do it and I should just be contented with being a side kick, I would be a rich woman. If I could count the days I decided I was going to stop being a coward, take that bold step to do what I had always wanted to do and then chicken out because someone told me that I was not good enough and would always be a mediocre, I would get lost counting. Or if I could think of the days I ran into my shell to hide because I allowed all the things that had happened to me, had heard stop me from taking bigger risks, I would probably be lying in the hospital getting treated for hypertension or worse, a stroke. And if I could scream for every time I doubted who I am and wanted desperately for someone else to approve of me, when they don’t even know who I am and what I stand for, I would damage my voice box. If I had a story for every minute I sat down hoping to be like someone else when I could just be myself, I would have the longest book ever published in the world. I doubted myself so badly that it took a lot of painful experiences to realize that I am better than I had always thought myself to be. I allowed myself to be pushed about, not because they are better than but because I allowed myself to think they were better and I was always going to be “not good enough”. It doesn’t even matter how many inspirational books I’ve read to encourage myself and to somewhat deceive myself that I was reading to develop the courage i need to stand out. Until I realised the efficacy of my potentials, I was always going to settle for less.
Maybe you are like me who has had a very rough and interesting (I won’t call it messy) times in the past and you are just afraid to explore new grounds in a bid to keep it safe. You are often so worried about what people had said to you in the past, what they are dumping in your head at the moment or what you would hear in the future and so you skipped taking risks totally. Maybe you even know you have something worthy to showcase to the world but fear of the unknown has held you prisoner and you refused to try new things at all. Because you’ve failed in the past, you’ve concluded that you will always be a failure. Your self esteem is zero because you think you are not so beautiful or you are too fat or too thin or because you are not as good as your friends or siblings. When you around these people, all you want to do is be invisible. You’ve been intimidated for so long that when you finally get the chance to show who you and what you carry on the inside to the world, you pass it on to another person just because you think no good can come out of you. You have conditioned yourself to believe you will always be nothing important, you will always be a spectator to something you have the power to control.
Guess what? You are right. No good can come out of you until you take that decision to discover who you really are. Until you are tired of being pushed about by those people you think are better than you, until you are tired of being disappointed, cheated and never taken serious, you will always be that person with no relevance. It took the most painful experiences to teach me that I will never earn my say or respect until I give people a reason to find me respectable. I had to decide I was done being anybody’s puppet. I was going to stand and be who I am and not who I want people to think I am because I am afraid of their opinions. I had to discard all those inspirational books and search within for that strength I had locked up inside of me. If you want to be taken seriously, if you want to be important, no one can do that for you except yourself.
You are the limitation, the obstacle stopping you from being more than what you are today. You have a voice that’s stronger than anyone else’s, do not let your past, your situation, your condition stop you from speaking so loudly. It doesn’t matter how tiny you think your voice is, someone needs that voice to survive. Someone is waiting on you to be saved. What I have also discovered is that you have something embedded in you not for yourself but for people around you who need that thing to live. For every time you shut your mouth because “you are not good enough”, think of that person somewhere waiting for you to speak out, hoping you would be strong enough to use that special voice of yours.
As for the fear of failing, just discard it. When you fail, it is just a way of redirecting you to a better way to do that thing. Failure is not the end of life, refusing to rise again is. Don’t be scared of those things that pose as obstacles. Even when nobody believes in you, the belief you have in yourself should be enough to not be bothered about anybody else’s. You don’t need everybody by your side. When you begin to please everyone around you, you lose sight of who you are and the God that can showcase His ability in your inability. Ask yourself, whose side do you want to be; the side of the limitless God or the man He created, someone with flaws and limitations.
So, step out today with the decision to start living for yourself and not for others. Remember you always have a choice; to stand out or to pushed about. Stop looking for others to save you and start looking to save others; start being a hero. Roar as loud as you can, you are the king in your jungle. Be outstanding and no one can stop you, except you.