Terrible: Film Critics Totally Destroy Nicholas Cage’s New Film, ‘Left Behind’

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There was anticipation over the return of bible series Left Behind to the big screen, but it seems to have not met up to expectations.

The new movie stars Nicolas Cage as adulterous pilot Rayford Steele and Cassi Thomson as his atheist teenage daughter Chloe, and has many film critics extremely disappointed.

See some of the scathing reviews below.

“The rapture won’t come soon enough for the unfortunate souls forced to suffer through Left Behind.” —The Hollywood Reporter

“Left Behind returns at a time when there’s been an increase in similar God-fearing fare in theaters, as well as an interest in religious apocalypse stories, thanks to HBO’s The Leftovers. It’s a concept full of inherent drama that, if done well, could explore humanity’s faith and foibles in an enlightening fashion. This is not that movie.” —USA Today

“Had the filmmakers embraced even a little bit of the plentiful camp value here, Left Behind at least could have been entertaining. As it stands, only the cheeky marketing person who thought to quote Satan in the film’s ads seems to have really understood what this pic’s proper tone should have been.” —Variety

“Where the 2000 Left Behind had a global reach and dealt extensively with the rise of the Antichrist, he’s nowhere to be found in this iteration of the deathless series. Perhaps he was too cheap to buy a plane ticket. This lends the movie an unintentionally theatrical air that’s only heightened by performances pitched anywhere from sleepy to frothing-at-the-mouth.” —The Dissolve

“One need not be a Godless heathen to find fault in Left Behind’s message-delivery system: It’s a fire-and-brimstone sermon wrapped in the tissue of a bad disaster thriller — a criticism that’s dogged the book series since its earliest installments. But this adaptation is so broad, cartoonish, and ineptly made that harping on its theological methods seems like overkill; even diehard devotees of the franchise may crack up when, say, Rayford finally figures out what’s going on by flipping through the personal calendar of one of the departed — and then breaking down into sobs when he finds the words BIBLE STUDY scrawled ominously on an open page.” —AV Club

“The extras zig this way and zag that way, waving their arms about and generally behaving as if they’re running an obstacle course on a reality competition show. They are distractingly bad. As is just about everything else about this film, from the directing to the not-so-special effects to the editing to the acting to the craft services. (Apologies for the gratuitous shot at the craft services. For all I know they were first-rate.)” —The Chicago Sun Times

“Ultimately, just like all of those empty articles of clothing left behind by Jesus’ return, Left Behind is a lifeless film, void of anything remotely human, God-like, or authentic, just a terrible Christian movie starring Nicolas Cage.” —The Daily Beast

“The running time is spent avoiding religion to such a loony extent that no one explains that this mass vanishing is God’s work until the film is nearly over. It’s almost as though screenwriters Paul Lalonde and John Patus believe people might buy a ticket to Left Behind and not know the twist, like someone sitting down to watch Godzilla and being shocked by the entrance of a giant lizard.” —The Village Voice

“On Chloe’s long post-Rapture walk to nowhere, she’s nearly hit by a sedan, a giant potted plant, a propeller jet, a man being blown out of a street-level shop, and a small school bus careering off of a bridge. Rayford, meanwhile, is in the air, trying to control the anarchy on the plane, land it, and get back to his daughter. This all sounds more fun than it is. Though he has a few moments of Cageian oddness, for the most part, he’s disappointingly subdued and only slightly more watchable than everyone else. ”Let it burn, see what’s left,” his character says at one point. Cage might as well be talking about his career.” —EW

Wana

Wana

Quo non Ascendam. Writer. E-mail: wana@360nobs.com

2 comments

  1. [Yo, 360nobs. The fly-away Rapture is a 19th century hoax imported from Britain. Saw the following on the web!]

    The Pretrib Rapture Jackpot!

    by Bruce Rockwell

    Attention, writers. You can make millions by promoting the pretrib rapture!
    As you know, pretrib began in Scotland in 1830. Early developers including Edward Irving and John Darby admitted it was then a totally new view that had never been part of any theology or organized church.
    They also admitted that it had suddenly sprung from only OT and NT “types” and “symbols” and not from any clear Bible statement! (Part of their “cut and paste” included stretching forward “gather” (Matt. 24:31) on their “charts” and turning it into a pretrib coming!)
    As late as 1957, pretrib expert John Walvoord admitted in “The Rapture Question” (p. 148) that “pretribulationism” is NOT “an explicit teaching of Scripture”!
    Since the early 1900s pretrib has been sold by novelists like Sydney Watson (in 1913) and by Salem Kirban whose “Left Behind”-type novel “666” came out in 1970 – the same year Hal Lindsey’s “The Late Great Planet Earth” started breaking sales records.
    The very first pretrib rapture novel titled “Left Behind” came from the joint pens of Peter and Patti Lalonde in mid-1995 before Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins somehow came up with the very same title: “Left Behind”!
    The pretrib rapture view, which admittedly is only an “inference” and not “explicit,” rests basically on verses in John 14, I Thess. 4, and I Cor. 15, none of which have either a “taken/left” separation or exciting, nail-biting scenarios that can “sell” pretrib.
    You have to go to Revelation’s action-packed chapters instead. When you do, you discover they can be tied to end time details found basically in the Olivet Discourse.
    As you know, pretribs believe in two stages; Stage 1 is the pretrib rapture which supposedly occurs several years before Stage 2 which is the posttrib second coming to earth.
    Since the three “rapture” chapters listed above don’t have any clear rapture-type separation between the “righteous” and the “wicked,” your best launching pad if you want to be a bestselling author is “the one shall be taken, and the other left” phrase in Matt. 24:40, 41 and Luke 17:34-36.
    Trouble is, Dr. Walvoord and many other pretrib leaders declare that the “one taken” refers to the “wicked” taken in judgment while the “righteous” are left! But since average pew-sitters don’t seem to know this, you can easily convince them that the “one taken” is a sort of code for an any-moment pretrib rapture!
    And the pew-sitters don’t know that Walvoord etc. also teach that the same phrase is part of “non-imminent” Stage 2 which is posttrib (and not pretrib) and is on “Jewish” (and not “Church”) ground!
    In order to preserve Stage 1 (the long-stretched-forward pretrib rapture), pretrib merchandisers in recent decades have been stretching forward various aspects found in Stage 2 and quietly applying them to Stage 1. Aspects include “the day of the Lord,” “God’s wrath,” “the taken/left phrase,” “the unknown day and hour,” and Christ’s coming “as a thief” (which in the Bible is always tied to Armageddon and other posttrib events).
    (For more on the above, Google “The Correct Answer to Who’s Taken” etc. on Joe Ortiz’s blog of Apr. 12, 2010. Sure, there’s disagreement on who’s “taken” first, but pretrib pew-sitters forget or don’t know that THE TAKEN/LEFT PHRASE IS FOUND IN ONLY A POSTTRIB SETTING IN THE BIBLE!!)
    Yes, I’ve told you how you can turn yourself into a bestselling, wealthy author.
    But unfortunately you have some competition because LaHaye and Jenkins have long been aware of the above facts. And for years they’ve been milking their 19th century cash cow (which hasn’t dried up yet) to shatter all-time sales records and make millions of pretrib dollars that are destined to be left behind!
    For more on LaHaye etc. Google “The ‘Left Behind’ Rupture,” “LaHaye’s Temperament,” “Jerry Jenkins Apologizes for Being Seen Gambling in Casinos,” “Pretrib Rapture Diehards,” “Thomas Ice (Bloopers),” “Pretrib Rapture Pride,” “Walvoord Melts Ice,” “Famous Rapture Watchers,” “Margaret Macdonald’s Rapture Chart,” “Pretrib Rapture’s Missing Lines,” “Roots of Warlike Christian Zionism,” “Evangelicals Use Occult Deception,” “Pretrib Rapture Secrecy,” “Letter from Mrs. Billy Graham,” “Pretrib Rapture: A Staged Event,” “Pretrib Rapture Stealth,” “Pretrib Hypocrisy,” and “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty.” (Most of these are by the author of “The Rapture Plot,” the most accurate and documented book on pretrib rapture history, obtainable by calling 800.643.4645.) BTW, for a unique Obama-inspired article, Google “The Background Obama Can’t Cover Up.”
    In closing let me say that Jeremiah 17:11 warns that “he that getteth riches, and not by right, shall leave them in the midst of his days, and at his end shall be a fool.”
    And you can bet on this!

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