What Do Girls Really Want? Bad Guys or Good Guys?

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The world of men seems to be divided into good guys and bad guys these days and on any given situation, women would categorize men into either good or bad.

This has led people into believing that the bad guys constantly get the good girls and the good guys always finish last.

But is this always the truth? Can’t a guy fit in somewhere in the middle or just be both? Must he be either of the two? Is being a bad guy a good thing and being a good guy a bad thing?

We know that the world doesn’t have time for weak people. The good guys are often termed weak and because of this, they are always kicked to the curb. But I doubt that this is always the case.

I have seen many good guys get the best girls and many bad guys get the boot.

Photo Source: Deviant Art


I honestly think there isn’t an on-going war between both sides.

The idea, I believe was created and propagated by movies, the media and popular belief that is not fully verified.

Let me first begin by letting every guy know that the average girl doesn’t necessarily find the bad guy attractive all the time. And even if she does, the novelty of it wears off and she begins to search for something deeper. So, if you have decided to ditch your good qualities to take on a bad boy persona, you might just lose out in the end. When guys start off by being bad, it’s not something they are born with; it is something they learn. And when guys choose to be nice, it’s mostly because they have lowered certain aspects of their real personality because they feel it will get them far with a girl. None of these can maintain a healthy relationship. The best type of guy for a girl is that guy that has qualities that can make a woman happy and yet maintains a persona without losing himself.

In case you still doubt me, let’s look at the traits of a bad guy.

1. He has no respect for his girl.

2. He cheats on his girl.

3. He feels superior to his girl.

4. He is never around for his girl.

5. His girl is never no. 1 in his life.

6. He is childish and probably influenced by peer pressure, no matter how old he is. He probably doesn’t have a mind of his own.

7. He is not led by reasoning or common sense but by his ego.

8. He might have game,  be tall dark and handsome, sweet-talking, a lady-swooner but in the end, he is little inside.

9. He doesn’t believe in chivalry.

Is that the type of guy you want to be?

Now, let’s look at the traits if a nice guy.

1. He has little self-respect.

2. He is always agreeable.

3. He is boring.

4. He is easily manipulated.

5. He avoids confrontations.

6. He has no social presence.

7. He is easily intimidated.

8. He has no problem being in the friendzone.

Is that the type of guy you want to be?

From what we have above, it’s clear to see that there really isn’t a side that is best. Both types seem like the same type to me. It’s just that they both deal with situations differently. What stands out is the low sense of self.

So the question is, what kind of guys do girls really like?

A man. A real man. With a lot of manliness. You don’t have to be rude to get her attention or let her walk all over you to show your love. However, you should know that women naturally fall for dominant males. But this shouldn’t be a problem because it is something that should come naturally with you. Forget what the world tells you today about feminism and women wanting to dominate. In reality, it’s all crap. A woman wants a man who leads. Not controls. A leader and controller are two different things and if you noticed, they are two different words. That is why when you meet a girl you like and who likes you, she is waiting for you to make the move, to LEAD. That is why when you guys go on a date, she wants you to pay. Even if she earns more, she expects you to buy more gifts for her than she will buy for you. That is why she wants you to move the fridge for her or change her tire or fix her broken DVD. She sees you as the LEADER. As a being with a high sense of self.

Granted that today, things have been twisted and many girls want only to use guys; but trust me, you will never go wrong by being a REAL GUY. No one can walk over a real guy or make him spend cash he doesn’t want to spend. You have been made to believe that once a girl doesn’t get material stuff from you, she walks out on you. But that is not always the case. The guys who tell you these things often tell you half-truths. Do they tell you they requested for sex from these girls in the first place, either verbally or by suggestions? Do they tell you that they were show-offs to the girl and brought nothing to the table other than what they had to offer materially? Do they tell you that they came off as assholes at first contact?

In a world where men either spend money to have sex or die from blue balls, men are out there getting faithful, beautiful women and having happy relationships. There is no magic to it and they are not spending millions to make their women happy. They have simply learned what it means to be real men. And trust me, it’s not that difficult once you decide to tap into that which God has put in you and ditch popular opinion, wrong and weak behavioral traits that will get you nowhere.

You should note the following things, though.

A younger woman wants a man who displays his manly characters outwardly. She is at the stage when her hormones are on a high and she doesn’t expect less from her man. However, indoors, she wants to be treated as a more older woman, with respect and assuring, snuggling love. An older woman doesn’t necessarily want a man who is an alpha male but someone who is stable and responsible. However, as she gets older, and understands her body more and connects to her sexuality, she begins to desire a more adventurous man behind closed doors.

Whatever type of man you are, whether the outgoing type or the quiet recluse, you can still be the best man you can be for any woman.

But Just in case you’re finding it difficult to be a real man the type women of all ages go for, here are some tips.

1. A real man controls his sexual urges. Asking a girl for sex when you first meet her or demanding it by touching her inappropriately makes you less of a man. A real man knows a no means no even if the girl’s body language says something else. Please, don’t act like you came into this world just to have sex. Look beyond a woman’s body – always.

2. A real man has guts. No woman wants a spineless guy. You have to be fearless. You can’t be running away from the same rat or cockroach she is running from. And you can’t stand by and watch some idiot on the street bully her just because he is bigger than you. Be fearless.

3. A real man dresses to impress. There are guys who get girls simply by the way they dress. Women love clothes, they make shopping trips seem like trips to heaven, and then come back and start talking about what they bought and want to wear for the next wedding or even to the office. Hence, they appreciate good fashion when they see it. Please, ditch the fakes and terrible attires and go for real clothes that look good on you. Google is always a way to start if you are fashion brainless.

4. A real man has a job. No food for lazy man. And might I add, no woman for him too. Get your hands busy with  a legit job, no matter how low-paying. If a job is hard to come by, offer a service. Just make sure you have a clean source of income.

5. A real man keeps his promises. If children hate it when their fathers make promises they can’t keep, how then do you think women take it when a man doesn’t keep his word? If you tell her you’re going to be there, make the effort to be there. If you say you won’t cheat, don’t cheat. Always keep your promises to her.

6. A real man doesn’t kiss and tell. One of the worst things that happen to women is when men dissect them on beer tables. It is childish and leaves a lot of room for disrespect of your woman by your guys. If you describe the size of her breasts or the width and depth of her vagina to your friends, or how she gives you oral sex; how do you think your friends will look at her every time she comes by? What thoughts do you think run in their head when they see her? Little wonder many guys lose their women to their close friends. Simply learn the Vegas rule. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. If you must talk about your woman, talk about her strong (non-sexual) qualities so that your guys get envious and start looking for their own women.

7. A real man has self-control. Whether it be you controlling your anger, your beer limit, your natural ability to have straying eyes, your sexual urges or a sarcastic tongue, you need to know how to keep things lidded. Know how to still your heart and control yourself when you are pushed to the limit.

8. A real man knows how to work his way around a woman’s body. One-minute men don’t cut it anywhere in the world. Men unskilled in oral sex are also not appreciated. Make love to your girl. It is a process of love, not just of sexual gratification and it takes a while to get there. No one is born an expert but it is no excuse to die as a novice. Learn to make love.

9. A real man treats others with respect. Rude guys are bad guys and everyone generally stays away from them. There is nothing that turns women off faster than a man who disrespects people. Being rude doesn’t make you a dominant male. It makes you an ass.

10.  A real man is a gentleman. It’s not just about opening doors or pulling out seats. It’s about having self-respect so much so that you can’t see yourself as being less than a gentleman. A gentleman is not weak; he is mature and has a broader understanding of what women want and relates with them accordingly without losing himself. He is not swayed by the bad character of a woman or even his friends. He is principled at all times.


Being manly and being real is not a day’s job but every guy has a lifetime to work on himself. There’s therefore no excuse for any guy to adopt the bad guy ways or allow himself to be so much of a nice guy, he becomes a doormat.

He wants to be everything a woman wants, that type of guy who is a very good bad boy.



Sally is the author of the Fish Brain series and Boys With Toys. She has written other online series like The Immortals’ Code, No heart Feelings, Novocaine Knights, To Tame a Virgin and In Pursuit of Kyenpia. She lives in Lagos with her husband and kids and loves the occasional bar lounging with friends. She blogs on www.moskedapages.com or you can follow her on Twitter @NovocainKnights


  1. Dare I say it’s good to have you back , Sally. I don’t like your hiatus o. Your absence was really telling around here. abeg teach these other kids how to write deep, well-researched articles like yours.
    eshe gan!

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