Chris Oyakhilome – “My Wife Was Always Angry And Bitter”

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While it recently became public knowledge that the marriage between popular pastors Chris & Anita Oyakhilome was rocky, it seems things have been going south for quite a while.

Pastor Chris had reportedly called Anita “angry and bitter” during a meeting of church pastors and deacons, according to a news site.

The report reads,

“Bitterness is prolonged and accumulated anger. My wife is always angry and bitter.”

 “Some pastors’ wives think when they marry a pastor, they are equal to the pastor. My wife thinks so. As a matter of fact, Rev. Tom was her pastor before I married her and Rev. Ray and Evang. Owase were her leaders long before I married her. How come she thinks she’s senior to them now?”

“I already started Christ Embassy before I married her. I didn’t marry her and said we should start Christ Embassy. I was already ‘pastoring.’ I already set my sail and knew my direction before I married her. I only said ‘come and help me.’” 

“Be careful of the friends you keep. My wife keeps friends who bring out the worst in her and help her see the worst in people, instead of keeping friends that will help her vision, especially as the wife of a global pastor like me.”

The couple’s 20-year marriage has produced 2 daughters, Charlene & Sharon.

Wana

Wana

Quo non Ascendam. Writer. E-mail: wana@360nobs.com

6 comments

  1. James 3:13-18 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
    But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
    This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
    For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
    But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
    And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. From the above passage I believe that our beloved brother and father in gospel ,and the wife Anita have missed the target. They are busy fighting one another while the real enemy, satan and his demon perfecting the evil work that they have started in their marriage. It is not time for satan for satan is not a factor. Whether they agree or not, they have given place to the devil who is already occupying at 99% of the space their marriage occupied. In accordance with that book of James 3:13-18, it is clear that satan through 3earthly wisdom is rulling Ps. Chris & Anita’s home.The word says here that they should prove their knowledge with meekness of wisdom as wise people. It also let’s us know that if there bitter envying & strife in our hearts we should not brag with our knowledge & lie against the truth. James crowns his point by saying, “this wisdom is not that which comes down from above but is earthly, sensual or natural, devilish or demonic. For where envying or jealousy and strife or selfish ambition exist, there is confusion or disorder and every evil work or thing.” This is a diagnosis of what has and is happening in the oyakhilome’s home. One of them should be humble enough to act according to verses 17-18 whiffh says, “wisdom that is from above is first pure, the peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy, & good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” I think this time for out brother and pastor to prove the name of his ministry, “Love World” also known as Christ Embassy. What rules the embassy of Christ is Love & love will esteem others better than themselves. Philip. 2:3-4. If I were to give an opinion, I’ll to take the place of Christ in this matter, cast off his pride & personality, stoop down in humility and lift up his wife, let them be going on the same plane. It’s about being a man of God or fulfilling ministry here, it’s about love bearing all things, being patient, kind, not bragging, not arogant, enduring all things, believing all things, hoping all things and covering a multitude of wrong. Pastor Chris should identify himself with his wife and lift her up. No matter how long some of workers have worked with him before he married, I believe from the word of God that his wife needs preferential treatment. PS. Chris needs to hold her hand and take her along while both of them are leading others. They should respect the change of status.Benny Hinn is an example. Even though it seems as if the enemy is already having the upper hand, it is a small thing to break the hand. Ps Chris can do even now with the greatest weapon called LOVE. The position he is trying to maintain as a man of God & husband, I believe he can get it easy just by loving his wife as Christ loved him & is st ill loving him. John 13:34-35. One funny thing is that none of them valued any man of God or brethren in enough to run to them for help. The least in the church according to Paul can settle their matter without stress, than world. Going to the worldlly court is a true prove of no wisdom from above in place.1Cor. 6:1-8. From this place you can see that the mature & greatest person between pastor Chris & Anita who will rather take the wrong.My prayer is that they should go back to their message and practice what they have been teaching. They should chase the enemy & welcome each other. Thank God.

    1. To much talk …God bless her, if she wish to go late her she’s grown. That’s on her….We most respect her wishes. Stop blaming everything on the Devil….Thank God in all things Let us not become like the world, loving to hear foolishness. Respect her wishes…We all must give an account to God for our own deeds. Thank God for their time together and move on. Now lets continual to do the work of the Lord.

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  3. Jane, no one gave Pastor Anita a church in UK to lead or pastor. There was no single Christ Embassy church in the UK before Pastor Anita relocated there. By the grace of God on her life, Pastor Anita planted churches in UK as she went along. As the churches grew, she appointed brethren most responsible to Pastor the churches in that area & those Pastors in turn raised other leaders to start new branches. That is how the UK churches continued to grow till now. As of today, there are over 36 in number. Ask those of us who have been pastured by Rev. Anita & who have been to her home, eaten with her & spent times with her- this negative description of her does not seem to match up. As someone who has known Rev. Anita for closely for close to 20 years- she is one of the most humble and gentle persons I have ever met. I have the utmost respect & reverence for Rev. Chris & I love him dearly, but I respectfully find it hard to accept this description he gave of Rev. Anita. Most of us church members have actually spent more time with Pastor Anita than she spent with her husband because she was living in UK apart from her husband for over 15 years. Some of us helped out with the kids when they were younger& ran little errands in the house etc. I never perceived any anger or bitterness from her. On the contrary, it would be sadness & loneliness, but she never gave it no room because she vigorously threw herself into ministry work. We never heard Rev. Anita speak or insinuate anything less than complimentary about her husband. She loves Rev. Chris and was so proud of him. She always reminded us of his teachings & all the time quoted & emphasized on what he taught us. Anytime you hear Pastor Anita teaching, she was always referring us to Pastor. There was never a doubt that Pastor Chris was her Pastor too. UK church members- am I lying ? I humbly stand to be corrected. At her homes, I have also seen her rush upstairs to take a call from her husband whenever he called or she called him. Please understand that Rev. Anita was in UK under Rev. Chris’ instructions to set up & manage the international office, that which she did excellently. She didn’t just move to UK on her own decision. Everyone in Chris Embassy knows that you do what you are told. It was her true preference to be with her husband wherever he was, but because she is a submissive woman- she obeyed & stayed in UK. Now this cost Anita her marriage because the relationship was drowned by ministry work. Anita is tired of being a business partner- she wanted just to be a wife. Although she is a terrific Pastor, I am sure she would have preferred just to be his wife and live with her husband under the same roof. Is that too much to ask for ?Divorce is not good but that is what the physical status of their marriage actually was before she filed. All she did was formalize it because Anita is not the type of person that is into keeping up appearances because that can be very frustrating and emotionally draining. Don’t say she should have fasted & prayed. Anita is a prayerful person & I bet she prayed until she could fast & pray no more. Maybe if she had opened up to someone who could have encouraged her to continue to wait on the Lord- but who ? Her husband is a global highly revered Man of God- she cannot share with just anyone. She was not trained to go to another Man or Woman of God outside Christ Embassy to intervene- that would be viewed as blasphemous. Some people have committed suicide because of this type of frustrating situation. For her, divorce was the better option. I cannot judge her for that. On the other hand, if Rev. Chris decides not to pursue his wife & bring her back into his life- but rather cut her off from the ministry & make certain statements, I cannot judge him either- he is a Man of God & he has his reasons. Both of them have made tremendous impact & blessings on our lives and millions around the world- God has been using them mightily & will continue to do so. They both know what is the right thing to do. We just have to trust God in them to fulfil his will concerning this matter. How many women can endure living apart from their spouse for over 15yrs in a different continent- only seeing the spouse when there was a ministry engagement. Would you ? Can you ? Judge yourself before throwing stones. My take is that we should continue to pray for them.

  4. The bible made it clear, that what God has joined together no man should separate. Pastor & Pastor Mrs should go back, the should remember their promise to God on their wedding day, and also what they have been teaching to people and their congregation at large.
    No time to say much on this issue, they should GO BACK and forgive each other.

    Thanks.

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