Things You May Confuse For Love But Aren’t

share on:

Loving someone is an amazing feeling but what can be the direct opposite of that feeling is loving someone and not getting the same feeling back. It kills you and makes you feel dejected. Everyone wants to be loved, everyone.

But sometimes, we stay with someone who we love and do not realize until it is very late that this feeling is not being duly reciprocated.

I don’t know about you, but I have felt something deep and intense before that was not returned and it was a terrible period for me. And you know what? If I knew this person wasn’t as deep in it with me as I was, I would have packed my shit and left a long time before!

So as not to end up in a terrible situation like me, here are how to know that the person you are with don’t love you like you love them.

Great and amazing friendship

You know that thing they say about you “loving” your friends and being “in love” with your partner? I would like to tell you that the love you feel for your friend and the one you feel for your partner is the same. I would love to say that the “in” before the other love is just preposition but the love you feel for a friend, no matter how strong isn’t the type you feel for a partner.

If the person you are with has an amazing friendship with you and they do things they would usually do for people they love and you start confusing these things to mean they are absolutely in love with you, then it means you are in a one sided relationship that would hurt you pretty much soon.

Great friend don’t equal great lover.

Fun times

Of course you should be able to have fun with the one you love. Time should speed by without you even realizing it when you are with your special someone but this shouldn’t equate genuine love. Be sure that this time you spend together does mean something real to this other person. Do not be fooled by how hard they laugh when they are with you or how they eyes twinkle when you say some words. The fact that you feel this is special doesn’t mean they think it is special as well.


Being single for a very long time can cause you to search for a soulmate of some sort, especially if you are the type that doesn’t stay single for long.

While it is not a bad thing to search for a soul mate, what you should be wary of is confusing the feeling you have for this new person for something concrete.


If you have been lonely for a while, chances are that the new person you meet would make you fall head over heels and this might not be the same way for the other person.

You would most likely hurt if this person doesn’t feel the same way. So take caution.


Before now, he/she never allowed you past his/her sitting room. Now when you visit them, they allow you to even use their personal bathroom and you sometimes even cuddle.

If you allow this to process in your head as something special, you might be in trouble. That is because it might mean they are falling for you in your head, but to them it might just be the next stage for someone they feel very relaxed around.

Do not mistake familiarity to love.

Going the extra mile

I know someone who goes the extra mile for ALL his female friends. He literally abandons what he is doing at anytime, picks his car keys and dashes to wherever the friend who has a problem is. If this guy had a chance, he would make a cape, design a superhero costume and take a full time job of saving damsels in various forms of distress.

If you meet this type of guy and he brings your favorite flavor of ice cream and cake at night, sits with you and helps you through a hard day or he darts in through the door anytime you have a meltdown and somehow you mistake it to mean he is falling for you, then you are in big trouble.

You know why? Because that’s him being him and you will be falling in love when he is just being him.


You need to be cautious and watch well to know what this person is doing for you is for real. Mistaking an unconscious effort for something deep and special can be real dangerous. Be cautious as to when you open up your heart.



Content Writer|Screenwriter|Coke Addict|Feminist|Amala Activist|Future Hero. Twitter&Instagram @Tomilola_coco

1 comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.