Bro, You’re in the Friend Zone

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Every guy dreads hearing these two words one after another, possibly more than any other phrase while chasing after a girl. It is a fact that most guys have experienced the friend zone at least once in their life especially when they are seriously hoping the girl would eventually realize how much they are in love with her. Some girls are upfront and nip the thought of a relationship with a guy instantly; however, many other girls are much more subtle, and they try to be kind and let you down easy. These other kind of girls would friend zone you till eternity, and you might just be surprised to get invited to their wedding without prior notice.

So, if you don’t want to have that rude shock of waking up to realize you have been in the friend zone for the past 2 years of your life; what do you do? How can you tell if you’re being thrown to the curb gracefully by a girl, even when she doesn’t use the words and tell you straight that she isn’t interested in dating you? Let’s look at few tell-tale signs.


  • Asks you about other women and encourages you to date one.


If your dream girl is constantly asking you about other women when you hang out, and she is probably trying to hint towards you pursuing one of these women; that’s a sign that you are just her buddy!


  • Addresses you as “Bestie” “My good friend”.


Any introductions like “John is such a good friend” or “I absolutely love John, he is my bestie”, you should probably accept your fate in the Friend Zone, but you can decide not to stay there.


  • Talks about her hookups.


Possibly the worst part of being in the friend zone, is having to hear all about the other men she is totally digging, and you are not one of them.


  • If three is NOT a crowd.


Anytime you invite her somewhere that is supposed to be private for both of you, she brings along a friend or a sister. If it happens once, maybe it is a coincidence, if it happens more than once and not at your request, there is no doubt the zone where you are standing.


  • No/Less Physical Contact.


If she always avoid accepting full frontal hug anytime you offer it (Ebola or no Ebola), and she will rather give you a side hug or just a handshake; you have been zoned. The worst is if she offers her knuckle for you to “chop”, your friend zone is verified.


  • Brother from another mother.


As stated earlier, being referred to as a “Bestie” or “My good friend” is a terrible zone for you to be in. But being introduced or referred to as “My brother I never had” “My brother from another mother” by a girl you are doing everything possible to date is worse. You have my express permission to put her up for sale on OLX.


  • Always call you for shopping time.


If the babe you have been looking to date for the past 6 months is always calling you up whenever she is going shoe shopping or handbag shopping, and you are there with her doing the nice guy, forming chivalry, and carrying her purchases through the mall while following her around like a puppy dog, that is where things start to look grim. Bros, you are no knight in shining armour; you are in the friend zone.


  • Can comfortably share your bed.


You like her and you have been asking her out, yet she can come to your house, share your bed and yet, will never allow any type of physical activity even when you try to initiate it. And you are just there, telling yourself you don’t want to rush her into doing what she doesn’t want to do. Bros, just accept the fact that you have been zoned. Do something about it.

  • You are her constant shoulder.

When you end up consoling the same babe you are asking out each time she has a breakup in her relationship; when you are the only trusted person she comes crying to after some sick dudes have messed her up; when you are the only person who she wants to sit on a couch with, share a bucket of ice cream while crying the whole time wondering where things went wrong. You have already booked yourself a one-way ticket to the friend zone already and no, there is no need (or way) to buy a return ticket; because your flight has touched down safely, and you are well tucked away in your hotel room.

Now obviously some of these signs and indicators are definitely worse than others, but if you can even check off a few items on this list, it is time to come back to reality, or I wish you well in your zone of life. Stay safe.


Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.

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