The Things You Should Do For You, Not a Man

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I have heard (and had to roll my eyes all through) conversations where shallow minded men argue and state that women do the things they do for men. From looking hot, to looking beautiful, to getting dolled up, to virtually everything (I bet some even claim we breathe for them, pfft!) some men believe that women simply put effort into things to impress men.

That is a lie.

If by chance you have been doing things to please a man as a woman, here are some things that you should naturally do for yourself, not because you do not love your man, but because there are just some things you do for yourself.

Lose weight

Some men like their women skinny and some like them thick. Whatever your man likes counts but he should not be the reason you have decided to start living at the Gym or the reason you are now starving yourself.

If at all you want to drop a few pounds, it should be because you feel like it and it would make you feel better about yourself. Not because your Mr wants you to.

Changing your wardrobe

I have not met, neither have I heard of a woman who does not like shopping or getting  new stuff. Some like it more and would shop till they drop… but hey, that’s not the point of this article.

You should have a style you are comfy with. If you are the Rihanna kinda girl who would rather rock her birthday suit all week long, then you should totally be Rih all the way. If you are the Kim Kardashian girl who would rock clothes that would stick to your body like second skin and barely leave you room to breathe, do your thing. If you are the Solange type of girl who has a style that’s quite edgy and cool all at the same time, then totally do your style.

What you shouldn’t do, is change your style because your man thinks it is not cool and he wants you to borrow someone else’ style. If he is not cool with your style, then he can get lost. You shouldn’t change you for nobody.

Do PDA when you’re not ready

I love PDA. I love it when I can hold hands with my man in public, steal kisses or even make out while seeing a movie at the cinema. As much as I love PDA though, I wouldn’t want him to force it on me if I didn’t like or enjoy it so much.

If you are the shy type of girl who cannot do more than holding hands with your man in public, then it means PDA is not for you. Don’t let him force It on you, do not do it if you are not feeling it. What’s the point of kissing in public when your eyes are darting here and there wondering who is watching anyway?

Making Up

More than half of the women I know, love make up. I also know women who do not like it, women who using a little powder and lipgloss is fine by. If you fall in the latter category and you meet a man who always wants you to be a part of the former category, then I do not see why you should even be together.

You should do make up and get all dolled up because you want to, not because someone wants you to do it.


I have asked a million and one times, Can’t men learn how to cook? Abeg, is there a law that says a man cannot learn how to make his own meals? If you put a gun to some guys’ heads and tell them boiling water would be the only way they would be saved, most of them will die.

I always tell my younger brothers every time I can, that knowing how to cook is a plus and they shouldn’t wait for their women to cook for them before they eat. And before you conclude I am a lousy cook, I can cook well.

But I know every woman loves a man who can cook too.

If as a woman your man has made you believe that if you cannot cook you cannot win his heart, then please leave the heart alone and go and win another heart.

I met a guy once who after telling me how much he wanted me to be his girlfriend, told me in a million and one ways that I had better be able to cook well and prefer homemade meals to take outs.

I disposed him.

Dispose: |di-`spoz/ Intransitive Verb

Meaning: to get rid of.  Eg. Any man who forces you to do any of the above listed things (either in a subtle or forceful way) should be disposed of. Shikena.


Doing things for your man is nice but you should willingly do things for him. Don’t do stuff because he is pressuring you or because he has made you believe that is the only way he can be happy in your relationship.



Content Writer|Screenwriter|Coke Addict|Feminist|Amala Activist|Future Hero. Twitter&Instagram @Tomilola_coco

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