Smart, Single & Loves Shoes – Tom Ford & Unexpected Guests

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Continued from here.

I’m looking at my glass of sparkling water that had arrived some time during his speech willing it to transform into a big ass pink snake, or an octopus, or a witch with a broom!

Anything! Anything so I can escape this moment right here, so I can avoid having to respond to Jide.

I am speechless.

This is not the plan!

He isn’t supposed to “catch” feelings or want commitment. No promises of forever and ever or sweet musings.


So I do what I know how to do best.

I take control of the situation.


Me: “Oh okay. Would you like to go out with me this Friday, well, tomorrow evening?”.

He looks a little confused.

Me: “I want to take you to my sister’s wedding anniversary dinner tomorrow. Would you like that?”


Omg! What am I doing really?

He hasn’t even said he loves me and I’m offering him a chance to meet my family already!?

Oh Lord!

My sisters will embarrass me, my Mum will tell him about my escapades as a young child!

If my brother tells him the story about how I wore boxers and men’s briefs all through my first year in uni, I will die!

Oh no!

My embarrassing baby photos scattered everywhere in the living room!

This is the first man I’d be bringing home in my adult life and my mother may just be excited enough to hand me over to him for marriage.


Jide: “Yes I would love that!’ I am free all weekend and even If I weren’t, I’d do everything to meet your family. Do I need to get anything for mummy?”

OH NO! Did He did not just refer to my mother as Mummy? Jide is a jumper and he just jumped without a parachute.

Me: “No, that won’t be necessary, you’ll come for me at 4pm. It’s a formal dinner, so feel free to come along in your suit and tie.

I immediately envision Jide in a white Tom Ford suit. Nothing too formal like  a 3 piece. Just casual and laid back, European style.  Ooh and the new season Tom Ford loafers.

Adney Alligator

Yum Yum Yum!

He probably has his suits streamlined—nipped in jacket, slim pants with a single pleat.

He smiles and nods in approval.

Jide: “I am a little giddy, the thought of meeting your family… I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He this as he lays his hand on his heart. I am laughing now, and not from sheer hilarity but nerves. But he actually does look like he is excited at the prospect of meeting my crazy family, his eyes are sparkling and he is grinning like a kid with a new toy!

Me: “Just promise me you won’t indulge them once they start talking to you about my childhood escapades, oh Lord! And if they offer to show you my childhood album, please don’t laugh at my missing teeth and oh Jide I have so many embarrassing photos, I have photos where I’m half asleep drooling, photos in my diapers. OMG!”

He takes my hand and my Rolex time piece scrapes against the cutlery making me jump.

Jide: “Cara mia, I am already planning tomorrow in my head. I can’t wait to meet your family, I promise to be on your side in all debates.”

I give him the look. He is being sarcastic. My ‘You think say I come Lagos to count bridge’ look. He catches on quick and starts laughing.

Me: “Hardy harr harr! If you play along and tease me, I’ll spank you  black and blue! I have a cane!”

Jide: “I’ll be there, yes. I’ll come with a Kodak too.”

I giggle.

Me: “What in the world would you need a camera for?”

At this point I have totally forgotten where we were and if onlookers were watching us at our table. Men may have tried to catch my eye. and women passing our table purposely brushing against Jide were ignored. We never noticed all that , we were lost in our conversation. Laughing and holding hands.

Like teenagers on their first date. And then

Jide: “I just want to keep little reminders of the moment, I can’t wait to see your embarrassing baby photos. 5years from now I’ll constantly tease you about it” .


Wait. What changed?

Is it just me or is Jide getting soft on me?

All this mushiness and moistness feels like we just took a long drive down Drake Drive.

Talking about his feelings, the shoes, the dinner date, now… 5years from now?!

Me: “Ohhh I see, hmm its getting late, let’s start heading back, shall we?”

He casts a quick glance at his watch. It was the Patek Philippe, Sky Moon Tourbillon; I couldn’t help but notice.



Jide: “Oh sure sure, let me get the cheque.”

He signals for the bill, and comes around my table to pull out my chair. We’re walking into the cool night air as I say the words before I can caution myself, or think about my motivation.

Me: ‘Do you wanna come by mine?’

He looks surprised. Then he smiles and does a quick victory hand dance.

Jide: “You’re inviting me to your house tonight?”



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