There are some lines that men say, that make you almost want to give them the side eye immediately you hear them. But there are also some that you hear, that makes you want to scream and wonder if he could have been joking when he muttered those unbelievable words.
He could tell you they are just words but remember that verse of the scriptures that says, “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh”. In other words, sometimes these words are not just words, they are not just things tumbling off someone’s lips because he finds them funny, sometimes they are a reflection of who he is.
So if any of these lines constantly roll off the lips of the man you are about to settle with, then it is time to reevaluate a few things.
“Your friend is very silly… I can’t stand her”
Once upon a time, a guy actually said this to me. A guy in his late twenties who is actually supposed to be a grown ass man. He was just meeting me for the second time and we were going on out first date when he muttered these unbelievable words.
Under normal circumstances, he should have known that every smart woman would have a problem with that, but I guess since he was not smart enough to keep the words to himself, he had no idea what it was to say to a smart woman.
Remember the saying, “show me your friends and I would tell you who you are”, yeah that particular saying. It means our friends are a reflection of us. In other words, if you have a friend, you don’t need a mirror.
Now when a man tells me my friend is silly, he thinks she acts somehow and does not have a particular reason for insulting her in front of me on our very first date! It means he is not staying long. I booted him to the curb less than a month after. And when I remember him these days, I wonder why it took me that long.
“Cheating is not a big deal… I mean everyone does it”
I agree that cheating is becoming as random as pure water these days and it is not even the ultimate yardstick for severing a relationship anymore. Sometimes, people make mistakes and their spouses decide to forgive them and move on. But that is not what I am talking about.
I am talking about the guy who expressly tells you when you just met or are about to start dating that, cheating is not a big deal. That guy who doesn’t see why you wont take him back if he ever cheated on you, especially since sex with the other woman was without emotions. That guy who will tell you that all men cheat, so deal with it.
That guy needs to be dumped immediately without giving him a reason. And if he insists on one? Tell him, dumping people without a reason is not a big deal… I mean everyone does it.
“I am not a family man”
Except you want to pull a Nike Osinowo and not mind being a single elegant woman in your forties, then I do not see why you should not bolt out of the door when you see a man who tells you this one.
Some women don’t want a family and no it does not make them insane, it is what they want and what they believe in. but if you want a family and you meet a guy who tells you he is not a family man, then there is no need sticking around. Because you cannot get a family out of a man who does not want a family. Except you are ready to raise that family without the man.
“My ex was a bitch… (and every other terrible name under the sun)…”
Men who talk nasty about their exes have always come off as uncouth to me. I mean how do you expect me to be with you, if all you have to say about your ex, are horrible things? Even if she never spent a day making you happy, why are you talking about her in that way? She is gone, good riddance. Now move on and stop bitching about her.
If he does this about his ex, chances are that he would do it about you, whether you do treat him nice or not. A leopard does not change its spots.
Note: Sometimes, people do not mean what they say but when things like this become a constant, coupled with the person acting like a jerk, then run away as fast as you can.