Nikolai Talks 8: I’m Literally at a Standstill

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I don’t know what to do. I’m literally at a standstill. I thought I had it all figured out, but I came to realize that I was far from getting my life together. By this age I was supposed to have the perfect man to go with the perfect job and the perfect life. That is definitely not the case today. What happens when all your plans, dreams and wishes haven’t come to pass? What happens when you feel like you’re stuck? Do you just let them fade away in the dark or do you keep chasing them knowing that one day, it might just be a reality? I honestly don’t have the ‘exact’ answer, but I can definitely give some advice and shed some light from my own personal experiences.

Never give up. I know you probably have heard this a hundred times, but you must keep on believing. It is so hard to get this message across to a lot of people, but think about how hard it is for someone like me to write. Do you think I have always had it easy? Do you think that I don’t know that life can be unfair at times? Do you think that I haven’t thought of giving up yet? Oh yes…I have thought of it all. So you may ask, what keeps on pushing me forward? What makes me continue in this path that I see and have set for myself? The honest answer is my faith in God and in myself. No one is perfect and there can never be such a human being. I know we have all heard this well over a thousand times, but I feel that it has to be repeated times without number for continuous understanding in our daily lives. We tend to forget a lot of the time, that we are capable of helping create the life track we want to follow. It’s not just everything we leave in God’s hands. God is there to guide and influence us, but it is up to ‘us’ to find our purpose. The future we see for ourselves at times might sound impractical, but is it really? Is it really, or is it just what we say when we get worn out from failure. There are so many trials and tribulations that we must face before we find our calling in this life. Don’t let anyone set your goals for you, be your own captain.

What is made for one is not always made for the next person. That is why I say most of the time that patience is key. Even though some people show off their lives in an effortless yet extravagantly beneficial manner, it doesn’t mean they all go to bed peacefully each night. Only God knows what truthfully goes on in people’s minds, so we should not be their judges. We tend to strive for the fame and riches not acknowledging the lanes one had to follow to achieve such means? What do you know about their wealth? What do you know about them? The real question is, what does lusting after what they have truly do for you? Has it helped your personal growth? We all know the answers to these questions. I’m not saying it’s wrong for you to aspire to be successful and passionate about a certain craft or hobby, but we need to learn how to properly position our thoughts and emotions to not negatively apply them with our behavior. Till today this is something that I know I struggle with and a lot of people battle with daily. Always encourage yourself to aim for evolvement while promoting a healthier and spiritual growth.

At this stage in my life, I tend to question myself a lot of times. What am I really doing with my life? Shouldn’t I have achieved more at my age? Should I be married by now? I remember when I was younger; I wanted to be the next Van Gogh in the art room, the next Emeril Lagasse in the kitchen or even the next Naomi Campbell on the runway. For years upon years I thought one of these options would be lead to my “dream job”. I came to find out that they were part of my inspiration, but truly not particularly for me. I thought that I had a problem since I couldn’t determine which was right for me. When people are younger, they tend to have everything mapped out for the future but why wasn’t this the case for me? It took some time, but I realized that it is okay for me to change my mind and concentrate my efforts on other ideas I had been building up. In other words, I’m trying to let you know that it’s okay to not always follow the norm. Sometimes, it seems as if the majority of people always have everything planned out since they have been following a certain pattern and work ethic towards their accomplishments all throughout their lives. How come they have been so lucky in their lives and you are still going through such hardship? I want you to remember that you have to take each day one step at a time. It might seem like forever at times, but it is worth the wait. Focus your mind on the things that really matter; your happiness, putting those who truly matter first and improving your spiritual mind.

Nikolai Obee

Nikolai Obee

Nikolai Obee (a.k.a Ms. Don't Use Me For Example) has a highly exuberant, but yet quirky personality. She’s a free spirit at heart and is constantly looking to broaden her horizons. She’s always open to others viewpoints and is an insightful listener, but never hesitant to speak her mind. Nikolai’s the typical girl next door, just with an animated twist! Follow her on Instagram @NikolaiObee Follow her blog

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